What actor would you get to read these lines?

This is from one of tonight’s more enjoyable spam reads.

“The bosom dole hold your breath amid at oxygenated muscles fuel to continue going one more and down flawless fellows horrendous play circuit starting now bring it up beginning with the plane turn prepared and over and back over and back bent and back the most astounding you if you wish right in your side night and that beyond any doubt development first you know I like your body looking way cells it work yet its once again a year ago I do you do to me great and Holden board and undertaking prepared and back over and back great back decent hold tight crush performing artist Schwartz be at stay with therapist biting the dust at this moment kicking the bucket hold tight and 3 to.”

This is so good it belongs in a movie, or maybe it should be a soliloquy in a play. Either way, if you were a casting director, what actor would you get to read these lines?

Of course you know me, I think Alan Rickman would simply shine reading this : )