What's the proper way to consume a large soft-serve ice cream cone?

Slurping the curl at the top is first. Hold the cone with only the fingertips to reduce the heat it absorbs. Keep it spinning, and don’t stop for long when the brain freeze hits.

Like performing oral sex on a woman. Lots of deft tongue,

I would have a cup and spoon ready, take a few licks and then put it upside down in the cup. I probably wouldn’t be able to finish it.

Yes. Slurp the curl, then start working on the waist, trying to get it inside the cone, @Here2_4.

I think deft tongue works on a man, too, @zenvelo. Just saying. :-)

Awww. We’ll get you a baby cone, @jca.

I know I couldn’t finish it.

Being a maker of cones (I work at McDonald’s and make like twenty every shift) I can adequately unmake them as well. You need to first lick all around the outside, to prevent drips. Then you get the curl. You would then repeat the process until you eat the cone.

Or you lick all around the sides before you give it to the customer so they won’t drip it all over their pants and sue McDonalds.

Consume it while in air temperature not over 85 degrees. Lick the sides near the cone to catch dripping before it starts and eat from the too, alternating between the two.

I try to tell the ice cream person to give me only ⅔ the ice cream if possible, sometimes they can’t seem to do it. Sometimes I dump the top ⅓–½ off the ice cream right into the trash before I even start eating it. I just take my finger and slice it off above a trash can.

(sung to the tune of Devo’s Whip It) “Lick it. Lick it good.”

Using a knife, trim all but 1 inch of ice cream off into the trash, then consume. You get the best part of the soft serve (with the cone) without all of the filler.

^ Blasphemer.