Can you come up with some good dialogue (details inside)?

A: I know what you’re going through. I too once fell under the spell of opium. It was 1979. I was traveling the Yangtzee in search of a Mongolian horsehair vest. It was a rough place—the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It’s worse than Detroit.

B: How do you know so much about opium?

A: Well, you have to know these things when you’re a king, you know. Oh, and by the way, you have till 5:00 to clear out your desk. You’re fired.

B: Shit.

- “It’s just a flesh wound!”

- “You’d better tell the Captain
we’ve got to land as soon as
we can. This woman has to
be gotten to a hospital.”

- ” Exactly. Because neither of
us can handle a woman all
by ourselves.”

A: ” You’ve got two empty halves of coconut and you’re bangin’ em together!”

B: ” What the heck is that?”
( the coconut clapper continues galloping and banging the coconut halves together….)
C: ” Why, that’s the Russian New Year. We can have a parade and serve hot hors d’ouevres.
( continues clapping the coconuts…..)

A: ” Is that your “chicken” making all that noise?”

B: ” No, he ain’t no chicken and he ain’t mine!”

A: ” Where’ d you get the coconuts?”

C: “We found them.”

B: “Stop banging them together, Jive-ass dude don’t got no brains anyhow!

( continues galloping and clapping the coconuts in an annoying way refusing to stop.)

A: “The man is an idiot, let’s call the cops.”

B: “Yep, and let’s watch them slice this fat bastard up!”

C: “Oi oi, looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!”
( eventually stops the coconut banging and looks scared )

A: ” That’s better, now we can have some peace and quiet.”

B: ” We don’t know how long this will last( the silence). They are a very festive people.

C: ” Yes we Russians are festive.” ( He raises his glass) ” Here’s to feeling good all the
time!”

They all raise their glasses and say – “Mulva” (Cheers in Russian according to the coco clapper!)