@jaykay Talk about difference from one part of America to another, the way people behave on the road varies quite a bit. In the Raleigh, NC area people let you merge in more than any other place I have lived. They were curtious in other situations too, but in Memphis, TN the driving had a lot to be desired.
In Memphis they would hold doors for each other there, but weren’t as likely to let someone go ahead in a line, although it did happen. I let people go ahead all the time if they have just one thing to buy, or just one question to ask. Funny, in Memphis a salesperson or cashier was very likely to finish with the person they were helping, before moving on to the next customer, even if the first customer was talking about something unrelated to the sale. I saw this as bad customer service. They weren’t good at moving a line faster if the line was getting long. They weren’t able to triage and figure out someone needed a quock question answered and then go back to the customer taking a long time.
Another big difference between Memphis and Raleigh was if a cashier at the supermarket opened a new line, in NC the cashier would say, “I can take the next in line over here.” In Memphis it was just a dash of people, whoever could get thre first.
Here in the Tampa Bay area of FL its a huge mix. Many time people let you ahead in line, but on the streets they are very fast drivers on major thoroughfares, very aggressive, but they let you in if you signal (fairly similar to northern states I have driven in) and people hold doors for each other and they bus their own tables and clean up their trash after a movie. Oh, Memphis sucked for cleaning up after a movie! That really bothered me, because it was so pervasive there.
I was in Manhattan a couple of weeks ago and I was remonded how in that city people are in a rush, but still wait in line well at a store, while not great at waiting on the road, the people in the service industry do try to be helpful, and even a stranger often is also if they have the time, and people do often hold the door for the person behind them.
I think for each of us we have certain specific things we look for that indicate whether some is too self absorbed or not. I also think most people who don’t think about others around them were raised by parents who didn’t, and live in communities that don’t. I feel it is a very pay it forward set of behaviors, and so every time we do something nice for someone else we encourage someone else to do that sort of thing, just sheer example. Moreover, I ignore what teenagers do. Ages 14–20 can simply be me oriented even if they are going to wind up to be very considerate adults in the end.
An exboyfriend of mine used to say to me, “why do you care about them? They are nobody to you.” I found it quite disconcerting. My family would never call another person a nobody.