How can you improve this paragraph, especially at the end of it.
Asked by
Puputom (
34
)
July 14th, 2015
Evolutionfresh.com is a highly interactive webpage that shows a variety of fruit and vegetable drinks mixed. Indeed there are many details about different drinks, the web developer use only a couple of colors and production photos to usher potential buyers to visit these products. The navigation of the webpage is simple, which the designer designs cute images around productions that you can click to know exact production information. The layout is succinct which keeps focus of the browsers on the productions rather than some information that they are not interested in. In the webpage, interactive interaction design acts as an important role between productions and the buyers, as buyers might pay more attention to a product that they tend to buy when their mouse move to relative area around the production, which relative images can shift behind the production image.
Observing members:
0
Composing members:
0
9 Answers
I capitalized my changes. Some changes you can’t easily see because I deleted some words. I put questions for you in parenthesis ().
Evolutionfresh.com is a highly interactive webpage that shows a variety of fruit and vegetable MIXED DRINKS. There are many details about A VARIETY of MIXED drinks, BUT the web developer USES only a couple of colors and PRODUCT photos to DRAW potential buyers to (please explain what you want to say here. Is it that the user is clicking on more information? Or, the user is just looking at this one page?). The navigation of the webpage is simple; the designer PLACED cute images around PHOTOS (?) that you can click on to LEARN DETAILED PRODUCT information. The layout is succinct, which keeps focus on the PRODUCTS rather than information POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS are not interested in. ON the webpage, interactive designs act as an important role FOR buyers, because buyers might pay more attention to a product that they tend to buy when (explain better here what you mean so we can word it for you, this last sentence is confusing, I’m not sure what you mean) their mouse move to relative area around the production, which relative images can shift behind the production image.
I think it’s an attempt to obtain free help with descriptive copy by someone in China.
Evolutionfresh.com is a highly interactive webpage that shows a variety of mixed fruit and vegetable drinks. Indeed, there are many details about different drinks, the web developer uses only a couple of colors and production photos to get potential buyers to visit these products. The navigation of the webpage is simple, in which the designer designs cute images around productions that you can click on to know exact production information. The layout is succinct, which keeps the focus of the browsers on the productions rather than on information that they are not interested in. In the webpage, interactive design acts as an important link between productions and buyers, because buyers might pay more attention to a product that they tend to buy when their mouse move to relative area around the production, which relative images can shift behind the production image.
The last part that I have italicized does not really make any sense in English. WHat, precisely, are you trying to say there?
Apparently @Puputom has a portfolio of advertising projects requiring rendering into sensible English
Answer this question 
This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.
Composing members:
0
