What questions would you ask to a US citizen who feels that it's okay to display the Confederate flag? (Please read the details.)

The questions will probably flow pretty easily once you sit down to talk with him. It’s difficult to know his position, so it may be tough to ask more than just a conversation starter.

But I would make sure that I covered a couple of things:

1. While he may not feel it is racist, he does acknowledge that there are plenty of people who do find it racist, right?

2. If he answers #1 in the affirmative, would he be willing to acknowledge that a symbol that a large part of the population finds racist should not be displayed on public property? This is quite different from free speech issues. He may be free to raise 10 confederate flags on his own property. But the public property issue is completely different.

3. If he decides to fly a confederate flag on his property, and he understands that this symbol is racist to many, does he have any issue with this? In other words, is he ok associating himself with a symbol that and all that comes with it…even if he doesn’t see it that way?

4. If his desire is to maintain a symbol of “southern pride” (whatever that may mean to him), is it possible to create a new symbol – one that is inclusive?

5. If he were not white, does he feel that he might have a different perspective on the confederate flag? This one is a question that I might really hold him to and spend some time on. If his great grandparents were bought and sold as property, does he feel that he would be as supportive of the confederate flag?

6. If he is feeling “fired up” – explore that. I find that emotional hot spots are often those weak links in a conceptual model. They’re the places that need the most “glue” to keep it all together. The “glue” in many cases is emotion and feeling “fired up”.

Anyway, I could go on forever. Please update us when you have the talk!

Edit: Crap, I thought that linked conversation was the generic “southern pride” thread. I will have to go back and read your link. Sorry.

“Would you be fine if I hoisted this Swastika next to it?”

@DoNotKnow – A couple of points, which you sort of touch on.

#2 doesn’t necessarily follow from #1. I would say that #2 is in fact a public policy/political question, quite apart from how he answers #1. One could make a pretty good argument that just because a large portion of the population wants one thing or another, that does not make it desirable or wise. (Mob rule)

#3 – you sort of hit a key point. What a person does on private property (even, as @ragingloli asks, a swastika) is (in the US at least) his own business, from a legal point of view. So if your nephew agrees that the confed flag is seen by many as offensive and divisive, and he still wishes to fly it, then what is his motivation? that, to me, is the key question.

#4 – I don’t believe that anyone, no matter how well meaning, can ‘create a new symbol’. Symbols are symbols because of events and evolution in thought. You can’t (to be silly) make a pink teddy-bear and say “this symbolizes the southern US”. Symbols have to come from symbolizing something, a shared thought or experience. This idea is a non-starter.

#5 – as someone asked yesterday – I don’t think any of us can truly put ourselves in the shoes of a person of another race. (How do you spell Dolezal?) This sort of thought experiment – (pretend you are black and tell me how you feel) is complete speculation; I don’t think there’s an ounce of reality in it. Not only is it impossible to do accurately, but I think that the answer vary based on if you were a Northern black in civil war times, a slave, a Freeman, etc. etc. The same is true today. Does a yuppie black lawyer practicing in Cambridge, Mass. have the same reaction as a black bus driver in Selma, Alabama? It’s hard to know.

Finally, #6 – I’d be curious to know if his being ‘fired up’ is internally or externally motivated.

I feel that further public display of CSA flags is purely about division, non-conformity, and hate. (The battle flag as well as the Stars and Bars can still be displayed without question in a museum setting, so it can’t be about them being historical artifacts.) Ask how he feels about any and all people who look different, act different, are of different religious faiths, or of no religious faith, LGBTs, who are different in any way at all, and about women.
Ask how he feels about himself.
Ask how he thinks others feel about him.

Why not just hang it in your back yard? You have the choice to look at (and honor) this symbol, but neighbors and passersby should have the choice not to.

@elbanditoroso: ”#4 – I don’t believe that anyone, no matter how well meaning, can ‘create a new symbol’.”

I’m not sure how often symbols are created (peace symbol, 1958), but it was just a thought. Symbols are tools that represent something. If the tool isn’t working correctly – if it’s currently a symbol of racism and oppression – then, the symbol is broken. If people are honest in their “it’s just southern pride – no racism intended” attitude, then they are choosing the worst tool for the job. If there is no effort to create a new symbol that is explicitly inclusive and a rejection of the negative qualities attributed to the confederate flag, then it seems people are fine with the fact that the symbol communicates these things.

@elbanditoroso: ”#5 – as someone asked yesterday – I don’t think any of us can truly put ourselves in the shoes of a person of another race. (How do you spell Dolezal?) This sort of thought experiment – (pretend you are black and tell me how you feel) is complete speculation; I don’t think there’s an ounce of reality in it.”

I think the exercise is a valuable one. We’re all (or most of us) are capable of feeling empathy. This empathy can be cultivated through conscious practice. But all I’m really asking for is for OP’s cousin to ask himself a simple question: If his grandparents had been bought and sold as property, would he feel any differently about the issue. It’s not going to be possible to time travel in the mind and really truly experience or even know what it would be like. But empathy is something we all have as humans (except for sociopaths). The human experience is something that we should all be able to tap into to some degree. If I imagine my family having been bought and sold as property, something changes. It could be a minor shift, but something happens. In that moment, I am wondering if a strong supporter of the confederate flag feels anything shift. That’s all I am asking.

@DoNotKnow Thank you for the detailed response. Some of the questions can already be answered:
1. While he may not feel it is racist, he does acknowledge that there are plenty of people who do find it racist, right? The answer is yes. I just don’t know why he thinks they (including me) are wrong.

2. If he answers #1 in the affirmative, would he be willing to acknowledge that a symbol that a large part of the population finds racist should not be displayed on public property? This is quite different from free speech issues. He may be free to raise 10 confederate flags on his own property. But the public property issue is completely different. This is a good question that isn’t on my list. There are others that need to come first though, like, “We can agree that the CF is a symbol, right?” “If so, what does it symbolize?” I’m fairly confident that I can drill it down from there to where he understands that it is a symbol of slavery. This is where this question would fit in nicely.

3. If he decides to fly a confederate flag on his property, and he understands that this symbol is racist to many, does he have any issue with this? In other words, is he ok associating himself with a symbol that and all that comes with it…even if he doesn’t see it that way? This is an interesting question. I will tuck it in my back pocket. Based upon what I know of him, the answer is going to be “No, I wouldn’t own a CF unless it was passed on through (paternal) family due to their Southern heritage.” If that is the case, he wouldn’t dare put it outside; maybe in a protective frame in his home.

4. If his desire is to maintain a symbol of “southern pride” (whatever that may mean to him), is it possible to create a new symbol – one that is inclusive? This is a question I’d only be willing to ask on your behalf. I have no idea what he thinks of Southern pride. He wants to end racism and his current goal (for the past year) is to move to the New England area.

5. If he were not white, does he feel that he might have a different perspective on the confederate flag? This one is a question that I might really hold him to and spend some time on. If his great grandparents were bought and sold as property, does he feel that he would be as supportive of the confederate flag? His great grandparents weren’t even born when slavery still existed, but I get your point. A better question might be, “How do your black friends feel about the CF?”

6. If he is feeling “fired up” – explore that. I find that emotional hot spots are often those weak links in a conceptual model. They’re the places that need the most “glue” to keep it all together. The “glue” in many cases is emotion and feeling “fired up”. I already know the answer to this one. His father and grandfather launch into an adult form of tantrum on any subject that sets them off. He has similar characteristics, although it has mellowed out through the generations. Yet, he still uses it as an excuse for his behavior. His younger brother, on the other hand, is one of the most laid back, yet responsible, persons I know.

@ragingloli “Would you be fine if I hoisted this Swastika next to it?” This is the type of question that is pointless asking. It’s sarcasm in a sloppy form. It could quickly end the discussion.

One thing that comes to my mind is the Cornerstone Speech. This speech by Alexander H. Stephens, the vice-president of the Confederacy, gives a really thorough description of what the Confederacy stood for.

The Cornerstone Speech was given one March 21, 1861 to mark the adoption of CSA’s constitution ten days earlier. It contains a pretty good amount of direct compare/contrast of the USA and CSA constitutions. He states, rather explicitly, that slavery is the *core principle of the CSA.*

You can find the full text of the speech here. The most relevant section is below. (with square brackets showing which country he is talking about)

“The [USA] constitution, it is true, secured every essential guarantee to the institution while it should last, and hence no argument can be justly urged against the constitutional guarantees thus secured, because of the common sentiment of the day. Those ideas, however, were fundamentally wrong. They rested upon the assumption of the equality of races. This was an error. It was a sandy foundation, and the government built upon it fell when the ‘storm came and the wind blew.’”

“Our new [CSA] government is founded upon exactly the opposite idea; its foundations are laid, its corner- stone rests, upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery subordination to the superior race is his natural and normal condition. This, our new government, is the first, in the history of the world, based upon this great physical, philosophical, and moral truth.”

Slightly earlier in the speech he also said this:

“The new [CSA] constitution has put at rest, forever, all the agitating questions relating to our peculiar institution African slavery as it exists amongst us the proper status of the negro in our form of civilization.”

If you want to know what the CSA stood for, look no further than what its elected leaders actually said. I believe that the meaning of the Confederate flag will always be tied to the overarching political movement it represented.

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I’m not sure of a direct way to form this idea into a question. I just figure that he’s probably not heard of something that directly connects the CSA to supporting slavery (as opposed to states’ rights) as this speech.

Edit window expired, maybe I can approach this from a different angle, since re-reading the question makes me think my above post was more “argumentative” than what the OP was probably asking for.

I guess I would begin by asking him what message he is trying to send with the flag. After all, that’s why flags exist, to represent something. If he responds with something about “Southern heritage” I would ask him to describe the heritage he’s representing.

I guess, then I would ask him why he believes the flag does a good job of representing those things. What does he think that other people think when they see the flag?

Maybe I would ask him how, historically speaking, the flag has come to represent the things he believes it stands for. The usage of the flag to represent Southern heritage in a non-racial way is more of a modern trend, unrelated to how the flag was used for most of history.

Update: The nephew and I carved out an hour of our weekend to discuss the Confederate flag debate. It ended up being a short discussion since we both look upon the flag with disdain. His points were:
1.) The flag should be removed from SC’s capitol if there is a democratic vote to do so and not out of backlash.
2.) As long as the US has freedom of speech, the flag won’t go away from private property.
3.) Those that display the flag are signaling either their ignorance or racist ideals. What is most important is combating racism through education and exposure to different cultures. It doesn’t start with taking away a symbol.
4.) The current outrage of the Confederate flag will die down, just like it has in the past, and just like any other hot topic of the week. And it has.

I asked him what he thought Southern Pride was. He said that his impression was a slower and more congenial way of life.

He recently obtained his master’s degree in education and just accepted a job position as a high school teacher in Boston. He asked for my e-mail address in order to include me on regular updates of his future experiences. This should make for good reading.