How do you think your bf came late home when he told you he will be home about 1-2am?

When I first read the beginning of what you wrote, I thought that maybe he was drinking and intended to leave when he said he did, but was having “just one more” and so that was the cause for the delay.

Then farther down in your paragraph, when you said you have been with him one year and still not introduced to his family or friends and he still writes “single” in his FB profile, I thought, well, that’s a bit concerning.

I would say if he does not want to have a talk about everything (not the staying out late part, but everything), then it’s time for you to make some serious decisions.

I think your problem doesn’t only lie in the fact that he came home late, but also the things you said at the last part of your details. I was about to say “let it go, he is a man an he needs some time for himself” until I reached the He is the person who never introduce me to any of his friends part.

I suspect he doesn’t consider you a girlfriend, just someone to hang out with, or worse, to toy with. You may need to consider leaving. Find someone else who truly sees you as a girlfriend.

I’ve noticed on here that relationship advice often ends up in “you deserve better, leave him/her”. Why is everyone on here so keen to see relationships end?

You pretty much answered your own question from the first sentence. You had an argument. When a guy fights with a girl, he needs space. He needs masculine company. He needs time free from expectations. The fact that you called him and encouraged him to come home likely made him take even more time. He probably said 1–2pm in the hope that he could have a carefree night, and you would be asleep when he got home.

Next time you have a fight, leave him be. Let him work through his thoughts at his own pace, and he will re-engage in the relationship when he’s ready. Rushing him will only make him feel under more pressure, and make him resent your expectations.

@BlackSwanEffect: I didn’t say “leave him” (I know you didn’t accuse me of saying that, too) but did you read all of what she wrote?

@jca I read it all, and I think the final sentences aren’t relevant to her current situation. He sounds like he’s being smothered, and is doing what he needs to to get some space. If she can’t give him that for one night, how can he introduce her to his friends and family? He’d have no private spaces left at all.

And Facebook relationship statuses don’t mean jack.

@BlackSwanEffect: I wasn’t thinking the late night meant anything, and I actually wasn’t thinking the FB status means a whole lot (some but not a lot), but I was thinking the fact that she’s been with him a whole year without meeting friends or family is some kind of red flag.

It doesn’t sound like he is that into you. You obviously want more of a relationship than he does. I would dump him.

I agree with @BlackSwanEffect

Nobody wants to feel controlled in a relationship and younger men especially will rebel. You are taking on the role of his mommy, not liking/wanting him to be out after 10 p.m. Wanting a check in phone call, waiting up for him. Sounds more like a mother than a lover and many men will rebel against being controlled and mothered.

You should also not just be waiting for him, do your own thing instead of sitting around watching the clock for hours. Don’t wait up, go out with your friends. read a book, watch a movie, call a friend.
Being physically controlled as your boyfriend feels is not any better or worse than you feeling emotionally controlled by his actions. This is the tip of the dysfunctional ice berg arising, fix it now or it will only get worse with him rebelling more and more and you becoming more and more emotionally controlled by his actions.

Just because he is your boyfriend does not mean you own him or that this relationship is going to last.

P.S. Whatever you do , do not allow yourself to become pregnant thinking that he will change if you get married and/or have a baby. Isn’t going to happen and you will be setting everyone up for a lot of misery. Any unresolved problems in relationships stay the same, or become even worse after marriage.

1am, 2am, all minor details. Not really interesting or important.

Look at the big picture.

- why are you arguing with him?

- why doesn’t he want to come home and talk to you?

- why are you just sitting around moping?

- are you trying to control him? Is this sort of episode happening frequently?

@zz714 – I think you have more fundamental problems that him getting home an hour or two late. (Trust being a really big one)

I once was in a very dificult marriage. I was invested with children so I put up with a lot of bullshit. He had mental health issues and eventually committed suicide.
When things were at their worst, I would look at people with problems like yours and wonder why people stick around and put up with this crap when they have nothing to lose by leaving? Why would you be with someone who is so inconsiderate of your feelings and who thinks so little of you that they won’t introduce you to their family?
I’m not saying you SHOULD leave him, I am seriously asking you to look at the pros and cons of why your in the relationship.
If the pros have everything to do with fear of being alone then you might want to evaluate your own self esteem. If you don’t think you’re valuable enough to be treated better than this then he won’t either.
I don’t really like Dr Phil but one thing he says is true. People treat you the way you allow them to treat you.

It sounds like you consider him to be your boyfriend, but have you asked him if he considers you his girlfriend?
I like the advice above about just going to sleep when he says he will be out late, but I realize that is not so easy to do, especially since he told you he would call you, and then didn’t.
Maybe you really love him and are trying to be understanding, but I think you two need to have a good talk and straighten out some things that are troubling to both of you, so the relationship can get better and stronger. Or, you can learn some things that are not how you want it to be and can decide with information how you want to proceed.

Sounds like he doesn’t really want to be with you. Do you feel like a convenience?

It sounds like this guy does not value your feelings. It also looks like he doesn’t see you as a real girlfriend. I don’t think you and this guy are on the same page with regards to what kind of a “relationship” you actually have. I think that you believe that the two of you are in a serious committed relationship. I don’t think he views your relationship that way at all.

If I was you, I’d have a serious talk with him about what you want and need in a relationship with him. If he has different ideas, or doesn’t even want to discuss it at all, you need to break up with him immediately, before something like this happens again. Don’t get into a fight with him, just say it straight and ask him some questions, to get an idea of what he really wants and if he really wants to be with you. If he does want to be with you, you need to let him know how you want and need to be treated.

If he can’t treat you the way you want and need to be treated, you two are not a good match. No screaming or arguing is necessary, that will just make this situation worse. Having a meaningful discussion is crucial at this point. Sometimes people just don’t want the same things in life.

Sit still… Think Hard and follow your HEART. The answer is there.
Ayodele Komolafe

The issue is not him coming home late just once. There are more fundamental problems, in my opinion, like him not introducing the OP to his family or friends. Maybe he has something to hide or maybe he does not consider you a girlfriend?

Have you ever asked him why you are not going to visit his family when he goes, or not going with his friends when he goes?

Thanks for all the suggestion above. It’s sad we break up now. The situation is very complex between us. I have some significant difficulties(not with money) with my life. He told me he tried to support me emotionally so that we have some problem but he never talked with me. The expectations of relationship from us are quite different. I need him much more than he can give me. In my country, live together when building up a relationship is a very common thing. But in his mind, it is an very important thing but we never talked about it. I think he means that he been forced to live together with me. He wants more space.
I accept how he treat me(do not introduce me to his families and friends) is because he was a great guy on other aspects. But he told me he did not put me in his future plan because of the problems. I did love him very much. In the future I may find the one who suits me, but now he took all happiness away from me.

It hurts now, but you do deserve so much better.

Still single on fb=RED FLAG, hiding you from family and friends, same. Leave you are being lied to.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for many years and never changed my relationship status. Some people just don’t care about declaring stuff on Facebook.