What constitutes "privacy" in a relationship?

We never looked at each other’s stuff. It wasn’t really an issue.

No.

No issues. Neither one of us “dig” into each other’s technology related things. Sometimes I will show him mine and he will show me his. But, that is based on what we want to share.
What constitutes privacy is what the individuals value with it and what the couple agrees on together. Some people need/want more privacy than others naturally. It doesn’t mean they have anything “to hide” per se.

I have nothing to hide she can see anything she wants when she wants.

I’ve had issues when partners have had issues with trust and/or control.

Once I was having dinner with my mom, and didn’t reply to a text for 30 minutes. The next text was “This is why I can’t trust you.”

In another relationship, she didn’t trust me and thought I’d been with someone I hadn’t before we were even a couple, never believed me about that, thought I was flirting and staring when I wasn’t, etc. I was quite loyal for years but eventually couldn’t take it. Needing to know where I was at all times, questioning how long it took me to get home from work, etc.

I think privacy gets related to trust, openness, and control issues. As an introvert, I have a certain amount of need/desire for time alone, and to feel free to spend some time and do some things and have some communications without feeling like I’m being observed or judged. There’s a huge sense of freedom to be myself when I’m alone and unobserved. The more trust and understanding there is, the less I need/want that. It’s not that I have something to hide; it’s that I’m aware of being observed and how it affects my choices and experience.

Oh, that would drive me crazy too, someone stalking me like that.

Would like to redirect this thread more towards what constitutes privacy per se in a relationship…I am having a hard time understanding the concept when it regards to a relationship and what are the boundaries or why would there be any at all…sorry but I am so confused at the moment. And yes…love to hear your stories and experiences as well…this is being so informative and of great help.

The more partners are willing to share – the closer they are likely to be.

I don’t think there’s anything specifically wrong with having a private facebook, or a private instagram.. but having them open and not hidden speaks volumes toward the relationship.

Perhaps un-intuitively, the more trust in the relationship, the more room for privacy there can be. It’s tricky when one side doesn’t feel any desire for privacy themselves. I think maybe extroverts tend not to be less likely to feel a need for privacy, compared to introverts.

I think there’s a difference between wanting to have privacy and having secrets…

I very much agree @Zaku My husband and I are both introverts. We both need a lot of alone time. I seem to need more privacy than him, but it’s not about secrets. It’s about me (and him) being individuals. When we got married, I did not stop being my own person. I am not a member of that “two become one” club. We share our lives, we do not invade them.

@Zaku Exactly, it’s about trust. If we can’t trust each other and feel the need to go snooping through each other’s stuff, there are bigger problems coming in the relationship.

Well said @anniereborn.