Do you have strong sexual feelings for your lawn mower? The Republicans are worried!
Off the deep end…
A republican congressman from Iowa (strangely, not Texas) observes that the recent Supreme Court decision on gay marriage could lead to people marrying their lawn mowers.
link
Aside from the idiocy of his statement, I have to ask.
Would you fall in love with a gas lawn mower or an electric?
Are lawn mowers with big bags more attractive?
Would you make cutting remarks to your mower?
Is a push starter better than a pull starter to get her going?
republicans… embarrassing themselves every day
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46 Answers
@elbanditoroso I don’t know where to go with that. If I tried to consummate my marriage they’d be referring to me as stubby.
You should not make fun of insane politicians.
You should make fun of the people that voted these idiots into office.
And what is worse, people will vote for this guy because of the idiotic shit he says.
It’s a tough extrapolation to jump from gay marriage to the wedding of people to appliances, though most of us already have common law relationships with our jobs. So what’s the argument against a person having the right to marry equipment and appliances?
I can’t help but laugh at the deliberate political propaganda presented with this question. Shall we list politicians who have been facetious to get a point across? I don’t think the world’s servers have enough space to hold the list.
But to answer the question (non-politician-style) directly: No. I sure don’t. I don’t much care for my lawnmower at all.. especially when it’s time to use it.
This is like that idiot Sen. James Inhofe of Oklahoma (strangely, not Texas) holding up a snow ball to disprove global warming.
As for marrying my lawn mower, she and I dated off and on for a while but never tied the knot. She was too high maintenance and she always had gas. We rarely see each other any more.
I don’t care for my mower. It just doesn’t cut it. Now, my ‘07 Dodge Durango, with heated seats and a DVD player and all kinds of cool stuff…I’d seduce that sucker in a heartbeat so it would marry me! Keep me all warm and entertained for the rest of my life.
Not as long as she isn’t after my goat. That one’s all mine.
a goat has 2 ends, you know.
So a lawnmower threesome?
What do you call someone in live with their lawn mower?
Mow-sexual?
and then we can slaughter and eat it.
Now the animal rights crew is coming after you with pitchforks and torches. But can’t say I ever tried goat meat.
Sex with a lawn mower is literally a roll in the hay!
Or making hay while the sun shines.
Well, and you don’t have to use birth control. Pretty much takes care of that for all eternity the first time you hook up.
Not if you attach one of these
I don’t have a lawn mower, or a lawn for that matter.
However, since the question has been asked, I would rather have one you ride on than one you push.
I fell for my mower once; he was a trim blade with a hard edge. But it was a rocky relationship. I grew weary of his power trips and exhaustive emissions. He found me too pushy and controlling. We simply couldn’t cut it.
I don’t own a lawn mower, so I guess i will have to make do with the toaster…oh, I don’t own one of those either….cell phone? the State cannot deny me either; it is my right. ~~~
Oh man, turbo chainsaw… <drool drool>…let me get some heat from your exhaust, baby. I will take you to the Casaba, we can flatten a rainforest, oh baby just don’t cut me….just produce me a slab of burl wood, I need a coffee table. ~~
No, but I did have an accidental bit of fun while sitting on a board that I was sanding. I might be more inclined to date a fellow who owned a nice orbital sander~
@Kardamom Have you tried an unbalanced washing machine? They are a little wonky but that is half the fun.
LOL! Riding horses can be inadvertently fun, too!
@Dutchess_III Wouldn’t it be funny to see a bunch of grown women outside the grocery store waiting to take their turn on the coin operated horsey?
I’ve been wondering for years about the thing with women & horses. Strange that the logical answer never occurred to me.
What do you mean ”...the thing with women & horses,” @stanleybmanly? Where did you get the idea (aside from my comment above,) that suggested such a thing existed?
I know several women who seem mesmerized and obsessed by the animals. Why is it always the girls who have those fantasies about owning a pony? Every time I wind up at some riding club or stable, there is RARELY a boy or man to be seen on horseback other than an instructor or someone involved with the business of the place.
With all of my friends, it is the daughters ALONE who take up riding, and the occasional boy who shows the same devotion, inevitably emerges from the closet some years down the line. I know this rant sounds terribly biased and stereotyped , but those are my perceptions.
I have never heard anything like that @stanleybmanly.
The inference I mentioned only happened once, and it was uncomfortably weird.
To further get your mind out of the gutter, I think men / boys gravitate toward rougher horse things, like roping and cutting, that kind of stuff. Women are more prone to ride just to be riding. I had a horse for several years. My girlfriend and I could just ride for hours, going no where in particular.
In fact, now that I think of it, most of the casual riders at the stables where we boarded my horse were female.
However, there were plenty of men at the rodeos.
Honest injun. Has nothing to do with sex. (MEN! PFFFT)
And that’s just the point. It was you girls who put my mind in the gutter. In all these years, i hadn’t even imagined that there was some sexual aspect to women & horses until the snickering above, and I’ve always been aware of the fact that men love horses for their working aspects. I can still remember my little brother and I staring at my sisters in disbelief as they pleaded with our parents for ponies at Christmas in our South side Chicago home.
@Dutchess_III – I completely disagree.
Both from women I have known in the past – including more than one ex-girlfriend.
But also do a Google Search on “orgasms horses”. This is not a myth. Maybe for you it hasn’t happened, but for others…
6 & 7. And tell me why you think they wanted a pony again?
That doesn’t answer the question. What does being a six or seven year old girl have to do with wanting a pony?
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