How do I move on?
This is a ridiculous question so bare with me. I was just on a cruise and while there, there was this gorgeous guy. He spoke German and I speak English so we never talked. The thing is, I would always catch him staring at me. And when I would catch him, we would lock eyes and just kind of have intense eye contact. I know it wasn’t accidental because it happened all the time, and he never looked away. Sometimes he would be all the way across the room and I would catch his eye.
For some reason this made me really like him. And it’s weird because usually it takes getting to know someone to like them.
Now that I’m back home, I’ll never see him again. I don’t know anything about him. But I can’t stop thinking about him. How do I stop? And why was he staring?
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11 Answers
Why do you want to move on? Sometimes you have to put your head down and go for it. How do you know he didn’t speak English?
Sounds like it’s too late. You didn’t get his email address (why not?) so this is all moping around.
Time will make you forget.
But next time, be more aggressive.
Perhaps he was wondering why you were staring at him every time he looked at you.
And you are right, you will probably never see him again but there is room in you life for daydreaming and fantasy so try to enjoy it without going “overboard”. cruise joke, get it??
It is natural for one to want to be seen as attractive. It is also human nature to fantasize. Mutual attraction often initiates a relationship. Initially both will see the other though “rose colored glasses” created from their fantasies. When two people get to know each other, their relationship may continue to strengthen as imagined reality is replaced by actual reality.
Rather than resisting your feelings about what might have been, create a scenario where you and he actually meet, fall in love and live happily ever after. By doing this, you may discover what in a relationship is important to you. In time, these thoughts will guide the next chance encounter to lead to a real relationship.
You’ll get over it in time. Give it some.
The rules for eye contact vary from culture to culture. In France it is not unusual to make eye contact and hold it for a long time. Japan is at the other extreme: the shortest glace is too long. Americans are more in the middle. We look, get caught and look back later.
I do not know “the rules” in Germany.
You’ll have plenty of other opportunities.
Here’s an unrelated tip: The gorgeous ones are not always the best.
I found that if I aggressively pursue a woman, or she pursues me, the walls come up. If I make eye contact, then back off and she appears beside me, we hit it off. I guess some like the chase, but I’m more laid back than that. Maybe he was letting you make the approach.
Europeans are very different from Americans about eye contact, flirting, making friends and so on.
We can’t know for sure why he was staring, but it sounds like you were both enjoying it. Probably you were interesting and attractive to him, and you didn’t seem to mind.
One advantage of being interested in someone and never actually meeting them, is that you get to experience your own interest, because your imagination had to fill in a lot of it. It shows you the potential for how you can be interested in a future relationship, and your experience was mostly in you.
If you just need an attractive European type to get interested like that, you can keep your eye out. There are such types in America too, and you can plan more trips…
Did he smile, too? If not, maybe he was contemplating how to kill you.
Thinking about it that way might help you get over it. Forgive me my sick sense of humor. :D
@DrasticDreamer LMAO. So we’re encouraging her to engage in a relationship with a serial killer? Neat.
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