What are some things you should never tease someone about?

Anything to do with looks is out of bounds for teasing. Criticism maybe, if one is close and they fail to care for them selves. But teasing, never.

Their appearance, including their weight. Unless you’re very good friends, maybe it’s ok, depending on the person and the relationship. For example, yesterday my friend told me she felt like a whale because of what she had eaten. She texted “orca” so I texted “two orcas. LOL.” I would never call someone something like that but if they call themselves one, then I am free to throw myself into the ring.

Not sure I’m ok with any sort of teasing. I don’t like it. I’m fine with pointing out something that the person themselves finds funny about themselves, but pointing out something that is teasing? I don’t like it. To be clear, a person might talk about being short, as a matter of fact thing, or maybe their weight, if they are annoyed they have gained a few points, but that is not permission to tease them about it.

In my opinion, it is only “teasing” when both parties are having fun. If that’s the case, I don’t see any reason to exclude certain topics. It is a good idea to only tease when you know the other person well enough to identify any sensitivities first.

I know it is often said that one shouldn’t make fun of other people’s looks, but this hasn’t made sense to me for a while now. Sure, looks are involuntary. So are manner of speech, intelligence, and awkward attempts at flirting. No-one tries to appear strange.

As long as you’re a friend you can tease me about anything. My skin is pretty thick. But I’m careful how far I go with others. It’s really a case by case basis. I try to tease people I know only.

A man and his member, especially if you know (or have reason to think) it is small.

Okay which of the evil wenches spilled the beans?

@longgone That’s interesting. I define teasing differently. I feel like teasing is akin to bullying. Teasing is the “girl” version, although men certainly tease also.

@JLeslie I disagree about teasing being bullying. I do it in fun, and if I tease you I want you to come right back at me.

Staff pay rise, the fuckers threaten you with strike action unless you pay up.

This is talking about teasing and bullying regarding children, but I think it applies to adults too.

If someone is teasing to be funny, or even in a living way, and the receiver doesn’t find it funny or it makes them self conscious—then it isn’t funny. It doesn’t matter the intent if the one doing the teasing. I think a lot of people tease when it is not well received. When it is well received I call it joking around. I use a different word, and it only works ok when it is mutual fun.

My husband teases me about some things, I know he doesn’t mean to be hurtful, but I would prefer he didn’t do it. If I did it to him as much as he does to me I’m pretty sure he would have left. Seriously. I think men do this a lot.

I don’t think anything is necessarily off the table, in context.

You and a best friend might joke about something that you’d slap the crap out of stranger for saying. Take facial hair. I’ve heard women make self-deprecating comments about their own facial hair. I can see where, if that woman was a real friend, you might eventually join in. You just have to make sure you’re a member of the club before you exercise your privileges.

I liken it to black Americans adopting the N word among themselves. They’re members and they have a feel for the attitudes of other blacks around them.

@JLeslie Interesting article. I don’t think it’s just men. Female teens are the worst at bullying I think. If I were teasing you I’d go very gently. Someone else, I might play rougher. It depends on the person.

I think among girls and teens it very much is a female thing. Like I said in an earlier answer a “girl” sort of bullying. I think among adults men do
it more. It’s just my subjective guess.

@JLeslie I guess you are right. Some men are abusive to varying degrees. I try not to take it there. To me it’s just in fun.

To most men I think they think it’s just in fun.

Their politics or religion. That’s a recipe for disaster.

Anyone can tease me about my height but don’t tease me about my weight! I think you ahve to knwo someone really well to know when you can tease.

@janbb You’re a short squatty bird. You invite abuse, it would be impolite of us to decline it.

@janbb I agree. I would add if someone says, “please don’t tease me about that,” or, in some sort of way asks the person to stop, the person has to take them seriously that it’s upsetting to them.

@Adirondackwannabe I think we started out with a fight on here about my height. SQAWCK – (bites his ankles!)

Not to mention my typos.

Ow, ankle biter. We can trade barbs on anything.

Hair or lack of.

@chyna Laughs, my lack of hair is not something you can touch. Well, if the hair isn’t there, I guess you’re no touching it anyways.

Well, I’m guessing saggy tits will also get me punched.

Don’t tease a girl or woman about her period and possible grumpiness during her time of month.

@dammitjanetfromvegas I know guys are so abusive about that. But we’d never be able handle that. We are way too wussy. I’ll do anything to help a woman through that

@chyna Especially for women. My husband kind of teases me about that. Losing my hair really bothers me.

But that’s his love showing through, @JLeslie. If It’s not mean spirited, he’s letting you know that he has noticed, and he finds it humorous that you care so much.

@JLeslie Relax, does my hair take care of anyone, step up when needed, or protect someone when the chips are down? I don’t sweat it.

@Adirondackwannabe I think thinning hair is a bigger issue for a woman although I know that many men don’t like it either.

@janbb I think it is tougher on women. Guys always want thick luxurious hair. But hey, what’s under the hair is more important to us.

Like @Adirondackwannabe, I’m OK with most kind of teasing. But don’t expect me to tease any first met people. I need time to know them first. I’m good at seeing what others want, so I can make sure I don’t rub anyone the wrong way (mostly).

Any personal issues, though I am not a super thin skinned type, pretty secure and can take some teasing, but, not everyone can.
I have a friend that is a borderline hoarder, I help her get organized every so often and I have to be careful because she is also a sensitive type. I was teasing her once about her cheese collection when we were cleaning out her fridge and one of the drawers had about 40 little nubs of old cheese. haha
She is super smart, has had a career in high finance for years but her house is cluttered chaos.

I have to be careful because I am naturally humorous and highly observant so it is easy for me to take a crack shot at her habits, not meaning to come across as critical.
I once joked about her hanging up her wet bath towel that she tossed over a really nice chair in her living room. I told her I wouldn’t want to see the chair get warped. haha
She is getting better at taking little digs because she knows I mean no harm.

Teasing can be an art form. When it’s done well, it can be rather endearing. But it takes a bit of craft to know your audience.

Otherwise, in lesser (or just unkind) hands, it’s just a more passive form of bullying.

So, I’d say it’s less about content and more about intent (and ability to pull it off).

Was your BIL kind of an insensitive guy? Or just wasn’t so great with his people skills?

It really is about who is doing the teasing and how it’s done. My husband and I tease each other, but we each know it’s play and not meant cruelly or seriously. Even then there are times when either one might not be receptive to any teasing. The timing has to be right. My husband called me spotty the other day because I had a couple of zits on my cheek. I laughed about it, but if I was feeling sensitive about my looks, that could have backfired on him. He knows me well and picked his moment. Similarly, we joked about our respective weight while away on holiday. We were both eating more than usual. However, we both knew it was playful banter and not meant to be hurtful.

I think teasing can be a cultural thing too. Australians, Brits and Kiwis tease each other mercilessly. It’s part of our culture. It’s not always appreciated and it can be a bullying thing but in most cases, I don’t think it’s meant that way at all. It’s just seen as friendly, playful banter.

You do not tease people about:
• How unattractive their kid(s) are.
• How large their feet are.
• Their political party.
• Their faith.
• Their spouse.
• How clean their house isn’t.
• Their cooking.
• The vehicle they drive.
• How fat they are.
• That they can’t hold a tune.
• How they drive.
• Their wrinkles.
• Their tattoos.
• The smallness of their breast.
• The smallness of their dumb stick.
• Their apparel.
• Their pet.
• Their relatives.
• Their sexual orientations (for lack of a better word).
• Their thinning or balding hair.
• Their freckles’
• The size of their nose.
• Their medical illness.
• Their physical disability.

Oh, I will stop here less I be here all night.

Political party is fair game. That is a choice.

The vehicle they drive? Come on… Surely you don’t want us to stop teasing Volvo or Hummer drivers?

Never tease.

My sister drives a Volvo dickhole. :-)

Poor lady. Someone has to :-)

However, it is bright yellow^2 and we reefer to it as the sex banana. It is a endless source of amusement at Christmas dinner.

I drive a Volvo; my son called it the Momvo.

And yes – there was plenty of teasing in my American Jewish – Brit marriage. Most if it very witty and appreciated; but some of it could have been balanced by more affirmation.

@janbb: Haha! The Momvo! Very funny.

My kids were, and are, hilarious. That’s why I keep them.

Well, what would the kids bring on the open market today?

Billie Jean King
Billie Jean King
Billie Jean King

@janbb So you never made it to the circus?

Nope – but I swim at the zoo frequently.

And to answer your other question, they’re priceless to me.

Laughs, yeah we can do this a lot with each other. And I have a nephew that is amazing. God I love him. He runs me into the ground everytime but I wouldn’t give him up for anything.

@ibstubro @Adirondackwannabe Says the men. You’re proving my point.

I don’t see your point at all. What is it? janbb and I are having fun. You’re point is that’s wrong?

Having fun is fine. Losing my hair isn’t fun for me.

@JLeslie Losing hair is something the guys have to deal with in my family. My uncle passed away a few years ago. At his funeral I was standing with his son and my brother. I reached out and put my arm around both of them and said guess which side of the family the hairline comes from?

Nothing is off limits if they are a good enough friend. Not even race. And before judgey mc-mole comes out… yes.. we joke about each others’ race.. so what?

When you know the person – you know what you can’t joke about. Everyone has that thing. Avoid that. Everything else is fair game.

So what. What does that have to do with a woman losing her hair, who has stated it especially bothers me when people call attention to it, that I don’t find it funny. A huge percentage of men are bald. It’s part of the gig. I’m sure many are unhappy about it, but it is nothing like a woman losing her hair in my opinion. Men lose their hair and it is “normal.” Women lost their hair and the majority of the time it is not simply a genetic patterned baldness without health consequences. We usually are losing hair because of a medical reason.

@JLeslie That’s something I wouldn’t tease you about. Whereas some of my other friends (even if it was a medical condition) I could tease them to no end and they would be just fine. Everyone is different. Sensitivity to that difference is important.

@Apparently_Im_The_Grumpy_One Right, it depends on the person. Each person has something they might be sensitive about. Since I stated to @chyna that topic bothers me, and I stated people need to listen when someone says they don’t want to be teased about a topic, and that it’s annoying when men think something they say is not meant to be mean and the women should lighten up…well, then one jelly says something like, “that shows their love” (I’m not going back up to copy paste) and another says something like, “I’m bald too.” I don’t give a crap. I’m not upset right now specifically about my hair thinning, I’m annoyed that men are telling women to be less emotional so they can get away with being unkind. Not here, I’m not talking about this Q, I’m fine, it’s a lesson for life and interacting with people. Women are constantly silenced.

@JLeslie: I don’t see (above anywhere) where either @janbb or @Adirondackwannabe were teasing you specifically about hair loss or making fun of women with hair loss. Can you point it out or specify?

@JLeslie I’m looking back, and I don’t see where I touched that area at all. What’s up?

@jca

@Adirondackwannabe wrote ”@JLeslie Relax, does my hair take care of anyone, step up when needed, or protect someone when the chips are down? I don’t sweat it.”

@itstubro wrote “But that’s his love showing through, @JLeslie. If It’s not mean spirited, he’s letting you know that he has noticed, and he finds it humorous that you care so much.”

@JLeslie Didn’t you just make my point for me. I’m referring to my hair. I never mentioned your hair.

“Relax” is not nice.

Again, I’m not sitting here upset, I’m just trying to point out that telling someone to relax can feel like “ok, gosh, don’t get so worked up, you’re being ridiculous.”

So the relax is your big issue? Okay.

It’s dismissive. IMO.

I get it now. You’re taking it as relax, don’t get your panties in a bunch. Not how I meant it at all.

Right. And, I completely believe you it is not your intention. As I said above, it doesn’t matter your intention, it matters how the person receives it.

I used to tease my ex husband who was going bald about his “crop circle”, that a little alien spaceship landed on his head and burned out the crop circle. lol
I also liked to stand on our master bedrooms balcony and try to hit the crop circles bulls eye with little pebbles from the flower boxes. lol

@Coloma That’s not a bald spot, that’s a solar panel for a sex machine.

@Adirondackwannabe Haha right, high testosterone makes your hair fall out. lol

I live/have lived with two autistic kids. They have NO filter. They often say or do the first thing that crosses their minds without even registering the impoliteness of a question or observation. The oldest can take his hand or just a finger and go up to someone and touch their bald spot or pat their head. He once asked a person “why do you have a moustache?” She wasn’t impressed. I see a spectrum of reactions if you’ll pardon the pun.

@Adirondackwannabe is trading Barbs now? Now he’s into sex trafficking. Will this nightmare never end.

To answer the question, it annoys me when “jokes” about old people go around, and especially about sagging boobs when a women gets older.

Acne, depression, loss of relative, something that they are bad at, clothing, weight. Just never tease anyone about anything. Say positive things.

Teasing can be good fun, with the right company. Here is a good example. I just put this on Facebook today:

*******************************

“In Which: PINK.

I was at the hardware store yesterday. I wandered around some. I’d much rather wander around in the hardware store than Walmart or the mall.
Eventually I took my purchases to the checkout counter. There was a tall guy already there. Couldn’t see his face, but I could see he was wearing a pink T-shirt. A BRIGHT pink T-shirt. A NEON PINK T-shirt! It really stood out against his tanned, muscled arms. He was tall, too. Musta been 6’4”. That big guy wearing PINK? I don’t think so!

See, I’m The Kind Of Person Who Speaks Her Mind.

I Am Brutally Honest.

I Stand Up For What I Believe In.

My Opinion May Not Be Popular, But I Will Speak My Opinion Because That Is My Right.

So, I’m feeling all kinds of righteous and fierce as I moved into line behind him and snarled, “Don’t you know real men don’t wear pink?!”
I made my face stern and put steel in my eyes. I was ready for him when that long, tall drink of water turned around and, towering over me, said….“Hi Mom!!”

Newsflash…real men wear whatever they want. ;)”

This picture was attached.

@elbanditoroso kids say the darndest things. We were just in Hong Kong and my husband went to the loo. He was stood next to a boy who was about 4 or 5 and was in there with his dad. My husband is tall. The little boy looked up at him and said “Wow! You are reallllyyyyyyyy tall’ So my husband said. ‘Yes, I am. You’ll grow tall one day too’. So the kid, recognising he had an audience said’ “you must be 99 to have got that tall!’ So my husband said, ‘uum not quite that old!’ So the little tyke said, and he was quite aware that he was being cheeky and I guess, in his way teasing, ‘Oh well you must be 72 then!’. Very cute.

I love that kids are open and frank. Even if sometimes their bold truth hits a mark!