Am I her friend or is she interested romantically?
So my sister introduced me to a girl. Who I like, and for the most part I also think she likes me. We started to talking to each other about common interests (music, movies, hobbies), then in class we became closer. We both always seem to have a great time alone, doodling and flirting mildly. Then there was a party where we got kinda of tipsy, shared a couple of beers and started going around calling ourselves King or Queen. When people asked if we were a couple we just responded “We are King and Queen!”. She always stayed close to me during the party. She is comfortable around me. The next day we had a movie night together with some friends and then I started sensing some distance. Or at least I felt distant. I later got to know that she might just be thinking me as a friend.
So pardon me for being a bit… well “Does she like me, or does she not” but my question is what signs should I look out for to firmly distinguish if she views me as a friend or a potential boyfriend. And if she does like me, when to make the right move?
I asked both my guy and girl friends and the guys said “Do it”, and the girls said “Wait”.
What to do?
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8 Answers
It sounds like only she knows what she thinks of you.
I would ask her, since that’s the only way you’re going to get an accurate answer. Everything else from you and everyone is just a guess.
One time when you’re out together enjoying each others company, strike up a conversation about the two of you and say you like her and does she feel the same?
One of you is going to have to seize the initiative and ask the question. Tact is of course required, but since the 2 of you seem matched so well, the question certainly isn’t out of line. Better to be rebuffed than stumble around wondering. It sounds like you’re already good friends, so you deserve to know if there’s “more”.
Ok one of my friends told me that she definitely thinks me as a friend…. can I change that?
Perhaps she was checking you out or try you on size to measure her feelings of getting close to you or not?
In that sometimes one gets a response much more than expected , with expectations from both her and you that perhaps she may not had wanted yet?
Let relationships flow with give and take in small measure to ensure that both are comfortable with each other before exploring deeper comittments.
Also some people are just ‘flirting” and have no intention of anything further developing, simply because they want to be perceived as ‘popular”.
Determine which role she is going after.Just take your time to develop interests compatible with your life .
@Souljacker How do you know that your friend actually knows the answer any better than you do? I agree with @jca and think you should ask her yourself.
If you find out that she’s genuinely not interested in you and only wants to be your friend, that’s something you need to respect. Otherwise, you’re not actually being a friend to her at all. The “friend zone” is a negative myth that’s prevalent in a lot of Western cultures. There’s nothing bad about being “stuck” as someone’s friend. Friendships matter just as much as other relationships, sometimes more. Maybe you’ll find that, in time, and the more you get to know each other, something can blossom. But if it doesn’t? I suggest continuing to value the friendship for what it is.
Play it by ear. And don’t put any time limits on anything!!! Women are the experts at the romance game and if they want more than what they’re getting from you, they’ll let you know So just be yourself for now. Be cool. Be a friend. Act natural!
Look at it this way: If you are a romantic interest, and things go sour, it’s not uncommon for people to get pissed at each other and not be friends any longer. Now if you are “just” friends, you may be friends forever. Literally forever. So that’s a big, big plus to being a platonic friend with someone.
Never follow the advice of “the guys.” You’re asking for trouble if you do. You’re talking about a girl here so follow the advice “the girls” give you.
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