Is getting coffee considered a date or just friendly?
So this guy in my college class just asked me if I would like to get coffee with him sometime soon. I said yes, but now that I think about it, I don’t know if that’s a date or just getting to know each other.
He’s always been friendly to me, but he treats me the same as everyone else. I don’t notice any flirting or anything of that sort.
A couple years ago we had a class together and I remember him being my “ideal guy” at the time. We had the same morals and interests. But now that I’m older and just recently left a difficult relationship a couple months ago, I’m not sure if I’m ready to date. I like the idea of dating, but when I think about my past relationships, I’m not sure if I want to try again any time soon.
So is he just being friendly? Or is he interested? And if he’s interested, should I try to get to know him and see if there’s a spark? Or stay single?
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13 Answers
It is an intro to a date.
Many people ask another for coffee as a low key way to get to know them, and if it goes well, will more formally ask the other out to dinner or to dinner and a movie. It’s a good way to find common interests, like, “oh, you like to hike? I was thinking about hiking up on Mt. Tam on Saturday, want to go together?”
it is more than friendly but less than a date. I encourage you to go! It is how to find out if the spark is there!
Has he been staring at you a lot? lol
Don’t read into it, getting a coffee is just a casual meet and greet kinda thing, to see if, perchance, there is some chemistry, not officially a “date.”
@Coloma: If I could have given you a hundred “Great Answers” for that, I would have!
It could be either. Why not go and just see what happens?
Why worry about labels? Coffee is informal it might be a date, or might not be, but who really cares? As far as your past relationship, that’s in the past. This guy could bring a lot of joy to your life, but you’ll never know unless you give it a chance. Keep things low-key, have fun, and see where things go. Best wishes.
Just go,and stop worrying about it,if a spark is found then go from there,if not you both are out nothing.
It’s a pre-date. I used a favorite cafe specifically for this purpose. It was high-end, chandeliered, white table cloths, formal waiting staff, very 19th century Vienna. There were also tables out on the sidewalk. The place was perfect for the type of woman I was interested in. Across the street was an art museum stocked with pre-Columbian statuary and friezes, and it was noted for it’s collection and visiting collections of Impressionist paintings. Down the street was a museum with the largest collection of Salvadore Dali works in America. It was surrounded by restaurants of every class and ethnicity. Nearby was a Movie complex, a concert hall, and a jazz club. Next the the art museum was a pretty city park under huge magnolias, beyond that was an outdoor concert venue and beyond that was a yacht basin and the bay. Everything was within walking distance.
I never revealed the evolution of these activities to my date before they occurred so coffee could seamlessly transform into a late lunch and lunch could turn into whatever interested her. Conversely, we could part amicably at any stage without her thinking that she missed out on anything. If I liked her and she me, it didn’t matter what she wanted to do after coffee as all the available options were fine with me. The object was to observe her, learn about her, share something of myself, and have a good time.
So, with the right person, the pre-date could quickly evolve into a play-date, and then a real date, and if we really hit it off, a night sail on the bay, or a backroad drive into the Florida night in a convertible, to catch the morning sunrise on a deserted beach on the opposite coast.
The date could be terminated at any point to the satisfaction of both parties. Sometimes the evolution of the date ended after coffee and I had gained an attractive friend or not. Only a few ever made it to morning. These dates, no matter which stage they ended, were enjoyable for both of us. I really know no better way to get to know someone than to have coffee with them first.
It’s something friendly that could lead to a date. As other jellies have posted, it’s an ice breaker and a pre-date.
What a lovely, stress-free way to meet someone! A cup of coffee is like window shopping; it’s free of expectations and obligations. If the two of you have a spark, how lovely. If not, you both move along without any bad feelings.
Non threatening get to know me I get to know you a bit, so we can see if we wan’t to try to take it farther.
Friendly, pre-date, potential date interview.
Sweetie-
Who cares? Just go.
If you have felt comfortable around him before~~relax….
If you are worried about what to call it- date or beverage consumption- it will show.
And that’s not who you really are- is it?
He isn’t the schmuck you are no longer involved with- right?
Most have schmucks in our past.
I believed I had a schmuck-magnet in my forehead.
Yeees, it was a out-patient procedure to remove it. Most health plans cover it.
If you’re not comfortable – take a friend or two along- but tell Him ahead of time.
Just GO! Don’t overthink this.
You’ll play “what if” for the rest of time.
Ask yourself this: if you see him going out with someone else, how will it make you feel?
Life is short and so am I.
Have some fun.
Good luck and enjoy! .........Now, whaderyougonna wear???
:)
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