Etiquette question: Do you acknowledge birthday cards?

I don’t acknowledge birthdays, mother’s day, father’s day, arbour day, secretary’s day, or any of the other non-events invented by Hallmark to sell cards. When random stangers order me to have a “merry christmas,” my response is to make direct eye contact and say distinctly and clearly, “Fuck. Off.” They almost never do it again.

How lovely, @SmashTheState.

@SmashTheState doesn’t believe that people being nice to each other enhances the probability of community survival.

I do, if I’m regularly in touch with the person, but I don’t send a card back or anything.
I like when people do nice things and are cheerful.

In my experience, most such gestures, rather than being meaningless as some assert (this conversation comes up periodically in the real world as well) are gently and nicely meant, and I like that people make an effort to connect.

It really doesn’t matter whether or not these things are “non-events” invented by Hallmark or not, because the gun is never loaded. We choose whether or not to send cards, wish someone well for various holidays or whatever.

Truly lovely, @canidmajor. Thank you.

I finally figured out the way that seems to help me. If someone sent a card, that was thoughtful. If I see them a great deal, I thank them face to face. If I receive a card from someone whom I don’t have much contact, here’s where it takes some more thought.
If the greeting card was from someone I truly enjoy and wish to contact them, I do. Either via a phone call or mail a card or letter thanking them and asking questions about how they are doing. I include some news from my world, or about family/friends in common, etc. It is acknowledging a friendship in which I would like to stay in closer contact.
If it is a card from someone being kind, I make it a point to return the sentiments on their birthday or during the holidays if I’m not sure of dates.
I hope this helps. :)

Yes. I’ve realized one thing over the years, and that is that the smallest of gesture are often the most precious. It’s a way of saying I’m thinking of you and your family because I appreciate you. I do not send cards often and when I do, it is to those I appreciate or cherish. Sometimes just simply because they seem like a nice person and at times there seems there are so few. I do not send out cards to acquaintances. I know some people just have to send cards to everyone like it is an obligation. I do acknowledge that I received the card but I do not return any. Especially if they act like a douche most of the year or do it as some forced etiquette.

They are in no way obligated to return the gesture but I do appreciate when they reply that they did receive the card because the mail system is not perfect. I once sent a birthday card that made its way back to me 2 weeks later, saying they couldn’t find the address. I carefully printed the address out. I realized they never even put a stamp on it. That means it never got out of my post office. I wrote a little note on it saying, for them not to find the address they would actually have to sent it to the state on the address and told them my mother has lived there for years. It’s not the first letter to arrive hell late or to never arrive and it will not be the last.

I don’t, usually. I should.

I buy the best greeting cards at Trader Joe’s. $1 (yes, one dollar each). They’re not those big elaborate Hallmark jobs, but they have great artwork on them and great messages, and I can’t fathom spending 5–6 bucks on any fancy card. I will occasionally buy parents a fancy card on a holiday, but that’s about it. Never a 5 dollar card – to me it’s just not logical.