Who would you pick to star in a movie titled: Fluther Troll?

What I always find amusing is that the troll questions are often along the same theme – they have some extremely urgent medical issue, they have extreme boyfriend issues or they have weird coworker issues.

@jca and why Fluther is so dumb too.

The two big recurring questions:

“I just had sex. Could I be pregnant?”

“What does it mean if I had a dream about my crush?”

I can’t see Jodie in that context.
Sandra Bullock is playing me. She hears the screams, and goes into action. First, she kicks Rodney Dangerfield in the goody sak. He is portraying who @ZEPHYRA mentioned. He goes into a string of insults and cursing. He says he had nothing to do with the screams. Sandra says, “I know, but I have been waiting for an excuse.” She then goes in search of the cause for alarm.
Noticing Jodie Foster and Olive Oyl facing one another, Sandra approaches.
“Hey! What’s going on here? Don’t you know there is a party going on?”
Olive Oyl pouts, and says she wants to be in the party too, but she is not being treated like the rest of the guests.
A German jelly, played by him/her tells her she is welcome if she likes tentacles, cats, and demonic aliens. She looks afraid and asks him/it if that is an invitation to be in love.
The alien jelly becomes sick and hides in a closet for a little while.
Rodney Dangerfield shouts from outside that he will show her some love for a minute, but don’t tell the wife.
Ellen DeGeneres walks by and reminds everyone to play nice or there will be some redacting.
Tom Green, playing the part of a tall Canadian jelly, asks the troll woman if she likes pizza better, or KFC. While she is still confused about answering, he announces the forthcoming big poo he must release, and he leaves the room.
Sandra smiles, and tells the troll she must be nuts, and so she should fit right in here. Sandra then walks out to the pool with the troll, and suddenly, with dramatic flair, shoves the troll into the pool. Troll dissolves.
An assortment of jellies, played by extras from Titanic, get angry and accuse Sandra of driving away a potential new jelly. Sandra gives them all a smug look, then kisses Bruce Willis on the mouth. I’m not tellin’ which jelly he is. She then gets fully involved with a handful of chocolate covered strawberries.
Who brought the chocolate covered strawberries?

And then some pissy jackass (that would be me) asks why this isn’t in Meta.

Randy but “only people that are nice people to answer question.”

The troll would be Jack Nicholson. Some off balance looking guy sitting at home in his boxer shorts, writing made up bullshit, and laughing as the answers roll in.

I think maybe I would be played by Mayim Bialik, Jodie Foster, or Natalie Portman. Although, Tatum O’Neill looks a lot like me, especially when we were younger.

I nominate John Malkovich. He plays great lunatics (I’m thinking of “In the Line of Fire” with Clint Eastwood.

(Mod says) Please refrain from naming actual users in this context.

John Malkovich or Jack Nicholson would make excellent trolls.

Aaarg! I just discovered I fricked my link. This is who plays the demon, German alien jelly –
http://www.listal.com/viewimage/8876124

Haha, @JLeslie and Pandora beat me too it, yep, Jack Nicholson, or Heath Ledger as The Joker, but alas, that awesome actor is 6 feet under.

Oooh…I know, Jack Black! lol

I thought troll was chosen already in OP’s description. If we are changing the original details, can I suggest Smorgasbord instead of potluck?

Hillary Clinton

@Here2_4 I only chose the troll in my version of the movie. You guys can pick whomever you like for the troll or actors who play you in your versions.

@JLeslie You do look a bit like Tatum O’Neill : P

In that case, my choice to play the troll is Lusia Strus. She played Alexa on 50 First Dates.
https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=2004+Lusia+Strus&view=detailv2&&id=3BDBF5227130A835534BC5C4F931F4DC9BF5AEA3&selectedIndex=6&ccid=mS0t%2bdl%2b&simid=608032830005119238&thid=OIP.M992d2df9d97e1653686f5f44466283fdH0&ajaxhist=0
The troll is a woman who has been isolated her whole life. She had no friends in school. Her mother ran off when she was a toddler, and her father was no help in learning social skills, choosing a wardrobe, or helping her become a young woman.
Her first job was as a grocery cashier. She worked fast, remained quiet, and kept to herself. She had the job five years when her father died. He had the house, and a very small bank account to leave her, and nothing else.
Another ten years goes by, and the woman is unbearably lonely. She tries to make friends with a woman who lived next door, but that didn’t work. She begins to imagine romantic intentions from men around her. The postman, men at work, even the weather man on her local tv station were all vying for her affection, in her imagination. Years ticked by, and nothing came of these imagined attractions. She became frustrated and anxious. She began to seek love online. She set up dates with men who expressed desire to meet her, but shew never had the nerve to show up.
When she discovered Fluther.com, she began to use the site to try to make her imaginary pursuers seem more real. She made up scenarios wherein she was the object of affection.
When the members of the site decide to have a party, and meet at last in person, the troll decides to attend. She is convinced one or two of the members want to start a relationship with her.
The rest goes as I wrote above, with the troll being played by Lusia Strus instead.

Donald Trump. Then we can all do the fluther victory dance when he gets offed.

I want Groucho Marx to play me. Just bring him back for long enough to film. Troll walks in a clown suit. I ask him, how do you sleep on your stomach with those big buttons? He tells me, we can take this outside. I respond. Go ahead, if I’m not out in ten minutes, call me a cab. He asks, what are you a man or a mouse? I respond, toss a piece of cheese on the floor and you’ll find out! The hot woman tells the troll, You are sooo good looking! I tell her, And you ain’t half bad your self! She says, I wasn’t even talking to you, I have never been so insulted! I tell her, Well, it’s early yet. Or, I can be Rodney Dangerfield. Tell the troll, Here pal, take this money and buy some new clothes huh? I wouldn’t be caught dead in the hat you’re wearing. Looks good on you though (after I get a look of utter contempt). Man I could have fun with this.