Do you ever have moments when you become so nasty even YOU cannot believe the nastiness in you?

Yes, frustration can do that to me. When it happens it occurs quickly; from zero to asshole in seconds flat. And, as you mention, it can be frustration with something unrelated to the present circumstance, just lying in the background gnawing on my insides then something goes “pop”.

I am working on it; trying to see it coming and walk away when frustrated before I express that anger. Wait a few hours, even ‘till the next day to address it.

One time a lady cut in front of me and others on a line. I said something to her and she had some stupid explanation and I started yelling at her. I went outside and thought about my reaction and how it’s so unlike me to go off like that. The next day I got my period. That probably had something to do with it.

I am always measured and reasonable.

Yes.

When I was younger I flew off the handle a lot. It was what I witnessed daily in my family. Eventually, I moved away from that sort of reaction. Mind you, this yelling and screaming was with family members, and eventually a boyfriend (who was treating me badly) not with friends or strangers.

More recently, I was being very reactive, almost hostile, and I’m pretty sure it had to do with the thyroid medication combination I was taking coupled with being under a lot of stress. I’ve changed the meds slightly and I feel much much calmer.

Vitriol.
Yes, I seems to have an abundance of it.
Usually it’s not that the reaction itself was inappropriate, but the extremity of it. As @rojo says, “From zero to asshole in seconds flat.”
I think a lot of my problem is that I go around making excuses for people all the time, subconsciously, trying to think the best of people. Eventually I encounter someone I can’t find an excuse for, or I just reach the end of my rope, and I snap. Fortunately, I’m usually cold and controlled about it, rather than yelling and cursing.

Yelling and cursing can be a good method of getting your way over the telephone, especially if you weren’t the one to initiate the call.

Yup,getting the oil changed in Mrs squeekys SUV a women in the bay started screaming at the workers,that she was there first and they should not work on anyone else until she was totally done,I told her there was no reason to get all snitty the workers were doing their best,she called me a fucking asshole and gave me the finger,well I let her have calling her every bad name in the book,after wards I couldn’t believe I did that.

If someone cuts in front of me, I definitely say something, not yelling but just being clear about who was there first. If the cutting issues doesn’t involve me directly, I stay out of it.

One time, I was in a Costco and there was a big column near where I was on line. A lady stood behind me but was off to the side, behind the column. Another lady came and was on the other side of the column, behind me, also. The two ladies started yelling at each other about who was first, and it turned into “fuck you” and then “shut the fuck up.” I stayed out of it. Same thing when people get nasty with workers. I stay out of it, unless they’re taking something up with me directly.

Most of such moments for me probably pop up right here.

Been there done that and always involved something or someone I am invested in and very passionate about.

Nah.

I’m an abysmal, hateful, bitter person, and I’m fully aware of that fact.

Nah I’ve always been this way.

On rare occasion. It takes a lot for me to totally blow, but when I do look out.
Pain and frustration are the top two for me. Like pounding a wooden garden stake into my hand a few years ago and then there was the time I was trying to plug in some new lamps in my bedroom a few years ago that went on end tables and having to try and reach under my bed to get the cords to a central power strip.

I must have banged my head and dropped the damn cords at least a half dozen times. I finally had a meltdown and grabbed my alarm clock off one of the end tables and threw it across the room.
It dented the wall and exploded into several pieces. Quite satisfying. lol

The last time I went off on a person was a friend I dumped about 4 years ago who was passive aggressive and had the bad habit of not only changing agreements at the last minute but speaking for others, me namely. haha
I told her, in an extremely firm manner that ” You do NOT, EVER, speak for others, DO-YOU-UNDERSTAND, AM I CLEAR! I then stopped all contact. Good riddance.

I do not suffer fools gladly and when I make up my mind I am done, I am really done, I can sever all contact with people without so much as a backward glance and move on happily.
Perfect strangers I can be bold with, but I do not call names or swear at others, I am coldly firm, yet diplomatic and use a lot of sharp humor as well. I do mumble under my breath at times when someone is being especially annoying. haha
Fucking REALLY! lol

@Coloma “The last time I went off on a person was a friend I dumped about 4 years ago who was passive aggressive and had the bad habit of not only changing agreements at the last minute but speaking for others, me namely. haha” Don’t you regret ever exerting the energy you did at that moment? —

@Cruiser Yes, I now just observe and distance.
I have learned that it is usually a waste of time and few people with those issues have the self awreness to engage in a productive conversation when you confront them.

Gosh. I can’t think of a time when I flew off the handle and got nasty.
Either I am a wuss or just lucky.

@Coloma In a perfect world for me that would be the case. I am not perfect and I am passionate and will almost never pass on an opportunity to prove it. Have a fab Sunday friend!

@LuckyGuy Nasty no, I mean I never attack a person with name calling or anything like that. But, I have raised my voice or had my frustration come through.

No name calling from me, either. Just defending or standing up for myself (on the one occasion I cited ).

Yes.
I came out of the hospital 6 weeks ago full of praise for nurses.
This past week, I was back having my gall bladder removed. This second visit I was in so much pain I found myself snapping at the nurses for their stupid questions, or for the “food” I was given. I was right, but I did it the wrong way.

Before I took anti-depressants, I was just a ball of rage that had a very short fuse. I would bellow, yell, throw things, kick stuff. If I wasn’t doing active explosive stuff, I was seething, gritting my teeth and clenching my fists trying not to throw a massive tantrum. It was almost a daily thing for me.

About two weeks after taking the meds, I remember feeling off. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Then I realized that I didn’t feel angry. Since I constantly felt angry, I felt weird without it. I tried to conjure up memories of people being mean to me and force myself to get angry. I couldn’t do it. I got ticked off, but I couldn’t feel the inner rage that was there.

It’s been 20 years. When I think about all that nastiness I had inside, I feel like I have someone else’s memories. I can’t even imagine feeling like that at all anymore. I think you could set my house on fire and kick me in the face and I still wouldn’t be able to o get that angry.

I am grateful. I don’t think I’d be able to have any kind of life living that way.

@filmfann – welcome to the no-chole-club!

Yep
You ever thought of do something about it?
Like trying to deal with some of the “underlying issue”.

No.

@wsxwh111 , if you’re asking me, the answer is yes. I’ve spent over 20 years in therapy or some other form of self improvement. I also had treatment for my anger and anxiety for almost two years before I took medication. I refused to take it because I didn’t want a pill to solve my problems. I made a ton of improvement, but eventually hit a wall, where nothing was improving for a long time. I decided to try the meds to see if they could help.

Sometimes, if you are depressed, stressed, anxious or angry for extremely long period of time, your brain chemistry changes. My body was constantly producing cortisol, adrenaline and a few other chemicals that kept me feeling rage almost constantly for no reason at all. Luckily, I only needed a very small dosage of a drug to shut that rage factory down. Only then could I really begin to work on the underlying causes of all that anger. Without the meds, the best I could do was train myself not to act out on the rage.

It still comes out now and then, but only for a minute or two. It usually happens when I’m extremely tired or hungry. I usually just raise my voice and do fake Yosemite Sam style swearing. It’s ridiculous, but so much better than it was. I think if I weren’t on medication, I’d probably be in jail right now. I was just one nasty jackass.

Mess with my kids and you will see a whole other side of me. No name calling, but I will let you know what I think about it in no uncertain terms. I feel like fire is shooting out of my eyes when that happens.

I usually have a zenlike patience toward life’s small annoyances. But a few weeks I verbally abused a poor bank manager who was actually kind of helping me. :(

My car payment pays automatically. Both my car loan and checking account are with the same bank. Last month it paid twice for some reason, which overdrew my account (even though I have it set up to decline instead.) I found out when I tried to pay my phone bill and it didn’t go through.

I called the bank’s help line and spoke to seven people over two hours. The bank side said the car side would have to fix it, and vice versa. I was on the phone with them for so long that I lost phone service.

At this time, my granny was in the hospital with a serious illness an hour away. We thought she was going to die. I needed that money back NOW to get gas and go up there. They told me the best they could do was ten business days, and then finally two days, but they were “bending the rules” for that. This is where my phone ran out.

I drove to the local bank branch and went through the whole process again with the manager. It took them half an hour to get the whole thing sorted out. They called a supervisor in car loans, and again haggled the time down to two days. This took half an hour and the car loan person was pushing back and being self-righteous about it, like “well you should have known ahead of time blah blah blah.”

I was so angry that I was shaking and yelled at the manager and their car payment person so loudly that everyone in there stared at me. In the end I had to borrow money from my roommate to make it up there that day. As promised, I got the money back two days later.

This is why people shoot bankers. Just saying.

@keobooks Maybe I haven’t had the exactly same experience, but I’ve had depression and OCD, and I know it was tough. And I think you’ve done a brilliant job on fighting and staying strong and protecting yourself. Good for you.

I do, but it’s usually my own fault for letting other people push me too far, then my rage explodes on someone else. But if it’s my kids you’re screwing with? All bets are off and I will go psycho all over you. When I’m that angry, my whole body shakes like I have Parkinson’s, my face and neck go red, my hands go as cold as ice cubes yet sweat at the same time, and I have to fight angry tears. I’m really surprised that I haven’t hauled off and bitchslapped someone.