I need advice on talking with my parents again...

If you don’t like university then you could try for a trade. Or you can flip burgers for a living and pay your dues and manage a McDonald’s.

I felt very similar to what you describe. I was “forced” to have a degree and stay in school and I ended up with an absolutely worthless degree that qualifies me for waiting tables, winning at Trivia, and answering some internet queries.

I made up for that by taking a lot of jobs (crap jobs) in great places!

My best advice to you would be to get someone to pay you to travel. Apply to cruise ship lines, resort hotels, dude ranches! Spend time “elsewhere” figuring out what you really want to do. These are seasonal jobs you can put on your resume without “quitting”.

@dxs Your interest in tutoring seems like a possibility, which could include taking fewer credits for awhile. Might that give you a taste of teaching, and a bit of a break from classes?

How many courses did you take? People often feel overwhelmed because they took more courses than they could handle. Or at least courses that were too difficult. I say stay in school for the semester, and see if it’s not too late to change to a dumb down versions. May students find the first year difficult because they left home, and college courses are nothing like high school courses. Professors in college get paid to instruct, not hold your hand. They expect you to handle your course like an adult. Of course 18, or19 doesn’t automatically mean you are adult enough to handle a fully loaded course, move away from all family and friends and a community where you feel comfortable and be able to handle all your needs, from doing laundry to feeding yourself and worrying about rent and, utilities, or dorm cost, and dealing with being so busy that you have no life and very little sleep. Also dealing with neighbors or roomates. Everyone is a stranger and all the comforts of home are gone.

It’s ok to say you aren’t ready. Go home. Go take some community classes that may ease you into your field. There really is not big difference between a college course away from home and one given in community schools. Only difference is one rips you off more.

I agree that some people are not cut out for the academic world. Despite the academic knowledge I have obtained over the years, I find it both more enjoyable and more educational to “learn by doing”. During my adolescence, I had people trying to push me towards the IT field. While I enjoy computers as a hobby and have learned a considerable amount about them informally, the thought of learning that stuff by listening to lectures and taking notes seems boring and a little scary.

Of course, you do need a plan. I think that @talljasperman‘s recommendation of a skilled trade isn’t a bad one. Take, for instance, the trade I’ve done for years; CNC Machinist. While it’s still a manufacturing job, it’s one that our nation does quite well in and thus demand for machinists is pretty high, though part of that is simply because people are leaving (usually due to retirement) faster than new people are coming in.

And it’s relatively easy for a CNC Machinist to pick up a job that pays $40–50k/yr, so it’s not like there isn’t some decent financial reward for learning the trade. There are plenty of people who go through college just to be able to land a job with that sort of payscale. However, it can be learned on the job or through apprenticeship without ever setting foot in a classroom. Electricians are similar, though there is a fair amount of “book learning” required; that is part of why I pursued CNC machining instead of continuing on as an electrician after being a wire-biter in the Navy for a few years.

My point here is that it is possible to succeed without a college education even if you aren’t an entrepreneur who is lucky enough to actually “make it big”. But your parents and others who are worried about your future may not see it that way. They want you to succeed and feel that college is the only way that can happen.

You can put those fears to rest if you have a good alternative plan to present to them. If you have a solid plan then it will be easier for you to eliminate their main (and possibly only) objection to your leaving college. And once the hard part of the discussion is dealt with, it will be easier.

It’s difficult for me to offer advice, because my college days were in a very different time. It’s funny to realize that the only pressure I can remember was the draft board sweeping up fodder for Vietnam. I would advise you before making a decision to take the lady teacher up on her offer and have that talk. The fact that she cares enough to make the offer says a lot, and should not be dismissed. Discuss your situation with her and get her perspective. You do have a responsibility to your parents, but there are limits. Supporting you and your education is their job, and the money they’ve invested has not gone to waste, regardless of your decision. My view is that you’re young, and thank God without a wife and kids. Your life is your own, and believe me if school is for you mere drudgery, you’re better off somewhere else. Finish up the term at least. In the end, I’m really in no position to offer advice. I’m the product of a bygone age.

Please don’t get the idea that I am minimizing what you are going through but in my opinion almost everyone in college goes through this same frustration to varying degrees. At one point I found myself in the Marine Corps recruiting office taking the test for Officer Candidate School (overseen by a Staff Sergeant Hooker, I remember him to this day), afteward I decided to stay in school and spent the rest of the semester dodging phone calls and offers of bus tickets to Houston for the physical; another friend walked out of a chemistry test one day and went straight over to the recruiting office, signed up and found himself dodging bullets in Vietnam within weeks, he earned two purple hearts before he returned to college and I cannot tell you how many friends just dropped out, never to be heard from again.

College is, in my opinion, a test to see how much Bull Shit you can handle; right now you have topped out. Perhaps that means taking a semester or two off, or perhaps, as @Pandora mentioned, you go back home and sign up for a junior college for a couple. I worry that if you leave you will never return. I spoke to a gentleman on Tuesday who had finally gone back and finished his degree two years ago but he is 58 right now and dropped out when he was 20; his sabbatical was somewhat over extended.

College is not a prerequisite to a successful life but if teaching is what you wish to pursue you are going to have to find a way to deal with it; either that or decide on some other career. However, there are other ways of teaching other than the standard school setting and without the teaching certificate. There are opportunities out there to work with people such as Outback Expeditions and RedCliff Ascent or adult literacy teaching (probably not for you) or what about working with seniors in assisted living facilities.

It sounds like your ED prof is concerned for you and I would advise you, if you stay, to get with her, explain the situation, see what you can come up with a solution and if you have to opt out of a class, get out of the Comp. Science one since the prof in that has not noticed you are having problems.

One thing, if you do decide to leave, please don’t sponge off your parents. Go out, get a real job, find your own place to live and support yourself, that includes repayment of your college debts.

Good luck with it.

There has to be a reason your grades starting slipping. If you were doing well for a time, something must have happened to change that. What triggered this downward spiral?

Have you thought about a different school maybe?

I’m sick of it…the environment, the professors, the classes, everything. I really really want to teach . . .

What environment will you be in if you teach? Are you sure you want to spend your life in an academic setting, if you’re sick of it already?

The most important piece of advice I would have for you is to find out for sure whether teaching is the right career for you. Just because you think you’d like to do it is no guarantee that the reality of it will live up to your expectations. The plain fact of the matter is that teaching is not for everybody. But it’s easy enough to find out if this is what you’d find satisfying for you to devote your energies and life to.

So, if you’re going to take a break from college, before doing so, you should set up a teaching/tutoring job for yourself. Start exploring now before leaving college so that you have a definite situation to go to.

I think that even your parents would understand you wanting some work experience in the field you hope to have a career in.

If at the end of a year or so, you find that you really have a passion for teaching, this might be enough to give you the renewed impetus to complete your degree. And if not, you can then explore alternatives for other careers you would find satisfying.

Just realize that if you do decide that teaching is the right path for you, a degree really is a necessity if you want steady employment.

Yes, you can find opportunities during your break from college year but they may be more along the lines of temporary situations or much lower paying opportunities. That can get you through a year or so but wouldn’t exactly begreat as a career opportunity.

The idea of taking a BRIEF time off from school is not a new one. I believe that it’s customary in the UK. They call it a “Gap Year” in which they work in a field that interests them.

But there is the clear understanding that it’s a year, not 20 years.

So, start exploring what’s available in the teaching/tutoring field to determine if you’re on the right track.

And definitely meet with that professor. She could give you valuable feedback and suggestions, perhaps even a reference for a tutoring position. Rather than fearing meeting with her, look at it as a unique opportunity to get some professional feedback on how you’re feeling about your current situation.

I too wonder if teaching is right for you. If you have a hard time taking BS from one instructor, how would you be with a smart mouth twelve year old, or parents of children who think you are a BS teacher?
Teaching is a noble profession, and I admire your desire, but not all are cut out for that kind of life. Tutoring might be the better way for you to go.
Stepping away for a short break sounds good, if you can swing it.
There are numerous ways to travel and be paid for it. I agree with the masses that crossing a lot of real estate could be healing for you.
If you do choose to take a year off, try to work in at least three totally unrelated areas during that time. For instance; take a job working with music a while, flip burgers for a while, work on a loading dock for a while at a warehouse. To accomplish such a thing, just apply at twenty different types of jobs, two to ten locations for each. Take the first one which offers, and then switch as offers come in. It would be a whirlwind, but each one would give you ideas of what you do and don’t like.
Telling your parents might be better than you think. If you are so frustrated as you describe, they likely already suspect something is bothering you. They might be relieved to learn you are not using drugs (are you?), or that you have not fathered a child. Sometimes parents are capable of more understanding than their kids believe.

Do they give you money?

If they don’t they are irreverent.

Drop out, work as a bartender and have fun. Get fucked up and get fucked.

I have been there. I dropped out of college a few times. I hated being there so I stopped going and got random jobs. Generally I would work for six months and want to go back since I hate shit jobs too.

And yeah, look at a trade. Plumbers and Electricians do well and you can’t outsource that. It is totally fine to be incompatible with school. A 60 year old electrician is a foreman. A 60 60 year old software developer is sucking dick behind 7/11 for nacho money.

You should talk with your folks, I don’t know them but they’ll probably support your decision if it makes sense. I would have some alternate plans if you are serious about leaving school. I personally would not drop out completely, I would take courses in various areas to try to find yourself. Local community colleges are great for this because they usually offer classes in many different trades as well as academic study. It’s usually much cheaper too. Working and taking a class here and there makes sense if you don’t know what you want to do with your life.
Be honest with yourself about what you like do do. That includes owning up to the fact that you may not know yet. If you don’t know start exploring trades and other courses of study. Most of the academic establishment is in a separate reality from the rest of the world. It’s constituents don’t function well individually and do not understand the working (real) world. What you are feeling is completely normal because school is specifically designed to make you feel this way. If you are “just doing it” rather than following something you are really passionate about you will burn out after a couple of years. I left geology in my second year and went to a two year tech school to become an electronics technician. It was something I enjoyed doing so I made a career out of it. It was not “work” for me. 90% of the folks in that technical program dropped out because it’s not for them. Technical and apprentice programs have drop out rates that are just as high as the university for the same reasons. I did complete an engineering degree and moved on in my career but the time I spent as a technician was the happiest of my life. It’s good to be someone who can do things, the trades will get you there. 75% -80% of academic degrees will not help you accomplish this.

I am curious about what area of teaching you are getting your degree in. Is it in math? It seems to me that the courses you are taking are fairly advanced for an education degree.

Thanks for the responses!
@Pandora I promise it’s not because I’m homesick. I haven’t lived with my parents in over three years and I was just fine ever since I moved out. After finishing a couple years of college, I also know what it’s like. I do think I may be overwhelmed by classes now, since I’ve never had a problem in so many. I’m surprised because the ones I’m talking about (ed, comp sci, physics) are all intro classes but are wicked hard.
@Blueroses That sounds like a lot of fun for something temporary. In the long run want a job that is rewarding and I don’t think those would be for rewarding for me.
@Buttonstc You’ve planted an idea in my head on how to approach them about it. I think it’d make the situation better if I said I was overwhelmed by the semester and am going to take a break and tutor to further explore the teaching field (as @si3tech also suggested). If I can get a tutoring position, that’d be perfect because they’d know I have a plan.
@Jeruba This is college I’m describing, the last place I’d want to teach. I think it’s a lot different than a high school or a middle school. But, those establishments have their own problems. I’m well aware of them and I don’t think I’d be able to deal with them, either. It’s not the kids. I’ve taught lessons in middle schools and I’m going to be teaching a lesson to 3rd graders on Monday. They really do want to learn. It’s the bigwigs who think they know what’s best for education and make all these ridiculous standards and evaluations that destroy the learning atmosphere. I know I’m being general but there’s so much that goes into it.
@Here2_4 @jerv @talljasperman I thought about other jobs, but I’ll have to look more into it. I find it difficult to jump around since I need a monthly income. My thought is that I should find a plan of action before the semester ends so I’m not scrounging at the last minute.
@Here2_4 I have much more patience for a person that’s 12 years old than I do for someone whose 12 years older than me. I’d rather put my time and effort into people like that than people who have been doing the same thing for years and years. And after being in schools, I’ve noticed that most students really do want to learn, but don’t for various reasons.
@johnpowell My parents or the school? The school? Yes; thousands. I pay nothing for tuition! But they’re going to stop giving me most of it if my GPA plummets. My parents? Ehh, they’re more of a safety net. I believe they’d be there for me if I needed it. But right now they give me other things like stuff they have excess of every once in a while (I just got a really nice non-stick skillet that was sitting in their basement for years). Right now I’m fine living off of my student account and my job.
@rojo I don’t want to, and I haven’t been sponging off of them. But I still want them as a safety net. A lot of it really is bull shit.
@tinyfaery The classes I’m in now are very different than what I’ve taken before. I’m a math major, and now I’m taking classes in areas I’ve never studied, like computer science and physics. It’s because they’re required for the math major. Maybe another reason is that I have lost interest in school because of the things I’ve mentioned. Or maybe because of the exposition to me of things that go on in this city. I don’t do drugs. I don’t even drink.
@stanleybmanly I guess I’ll get through as much of the semester as I can, but if I don’t withdraw and fail, those grades aren’t going away and will stick with my academic record no matter what I do in the future.

@LostInParadise I’m getting a major in math. In MA they want me to get my degree in the discipline I want to teach (math) and then get a “minor” in education. The “minor” is 30 credits and includes student teaching. You can also do this as masters. It’s more correctly called a teaching program. Comp sci and physics (both introductory 100-level courses) are required for the major. I’ve taken 300 level math classes and did fine but I’m struggling with what should be a simple 100-level CS course.

Have you thought about transferring to another school? While I like the idea of being required to take courses in the area that you will be teaching, it seems a bit much to require you to major in the area. If you are drawn to teaching then you should definitely try to get a teaching degree, but I would think that there are other schools where it would not be so difficult. Going to a community college for the first two years is a possibility.

@LostInParadise I have, like, over 60 credits done, so there’s no more community college option for me and where I’m at there’s a solid teaching program. I don’t find math classes hard so far. I’ve found them a lot of fun. And as I said, I’ve looked into public education on my own time, but this semester is the first time I’ve taken ed classes, and one of the classes is just so much reading and writing that I fear other ed classes will be the same. I wouldn’t think that such amount of reading and writing would be required to be a math teacher.

There is something amiss. The education courses should not be that difficult. Since you enjoy math and are good at it and want to teach, math teaching is a good match. For teaching math, it is far more important that you have a grasp of math than the BS they teach in ed courses, Consider other colleges even if you have to go out of state.

100 level CS & physics courses are notorious for being weed out classes. 300 level math and you don’t think you have what it takes to be in academics? I think you sell yourself short.

Are you depressed? Are you afraid? Do you go to a shitty school?

Only you can answer this, of course.

My son felt like you and he dropped out of college. He’s living at home and working at a minimum wage job that he hates. He’s getting depressed and losing motivation.

I felt like you when I was finishing my Masters degree. I only had my thesis left. I almost convinced everyone around me that I needed to drop out… but my husband and our marriage therapist saw through me. They gave me the motivation to finish, and now I’m applying for my PhD.

My gut says that you are afraid of something that you don’t want to face. Maybe school has always been easy and you’re finally having to work. Maybe you’re afraid of graduating and getting a “real” job. I don’t know what it is. But you have to learn to face it. I’m sure you’re smart and persuasive. I hope that there are people close to you who are not easily persuaded.

Maybe you need a break. Maybe you need a different school. Maybe you need a different major. I have no idea. But you have to find what motivates and excites you. And you have to face whatever frightens you.

You can do it.

With over 60 credits, you should be able to get work as a substitute teacher – that would be a great way to find out if you really like being in the classroom. Of course, it doesn’t involve all the out-of-class work like grading and lesson plans, but would allow you to get a sense of what it’s like with a couple dozen kids to deal with. A good friend of mine did sub work for a while, then permanent sub covering medical leaves and such, while going to school and grad school.

Sorry I haven’t responded in a while. I was with extended family this weekend. I was able to talk to some of them about my problems in school and how I’m in danger of failing some of my classes, and my parents were overhearing, so it was a nice way of getting it around. I think I’m going to go with @Buttonstc‘s suggestion and hopefully find a tutoring job and tell them I’ll be doing that instead of school. Maybe I’ll even say it’s just for a semester to explore whether or not the teaching environment really is for me.

@Cupcake I think I need something different than school. I’m certainly not afraid of anything about school. If I were, I don’t think I’d be fighting it so much.
@ARE_you_kidding_me I think that’s ridiculous. Again, if that’s the kind of atmosphere it is—classes meant to “weed people out”-then count me as weeded out.
@hearkat I didn’t know that. I’m almost positive a temp license requires a bachelor’s, but in any case I feel like learning about the class environment is important. That is, learning about kids and how they learn.

Also, I swear I’m not butt hurt about grades, either. I started hating it even when my grades were good. Struggling probably did make it worse, though.

If you are stressed with school then taking a semester off might be a good idea. If you really want to be a teacher don’t give up on your dreams. It will take hard work, but everyone deserves a break. Also I do recommend meeting up with your professor, she can only help you.

As for feeling like a consumer, well you pretty much are. I’m in college too and it’s all about money, everyone agrees. But I’m not going to let that stop me from accomplishing my dreams