What are your views on public courtesy?

I have held doors many times. When doors are held for me, I thank them loud and clear enough for them to know I mean it. When people are creeps about it, I get upset.
Getting upset just wrecks my day, not theirs, so I try to find something happy right away to balance that out.

It should be abolished. It is just political correctness running amok.

I always say “thank you” when someone holds the door for me, just as I always say “yes, please” when a waiter asks if I need something, instead of saying “yeah” or just blurting out what I want.

People lack decent manners these days, which drives me nuts.

I’m a member of a medieval reenactment group, and often find myself dropping into a curtsy and saying “Thank you, M’Lord” before even realising where I am.

If I have done this to you I SWEAR I’M NOT BEING SARCASTIC. And I’m sorry.

I did not used to thank people for holding a door for me and I did not expect them to thank me for holding the door for them, but I noticed that people sometimes got upset by reticence. It is a small gesture and if it makes a difference to people, then why not?

It’s a dying thing. I don’t think it is being taught by parents any more. Courtesy is something inculcated when you are a child.

Some people do things like open doors, let others go first, others are just oblivious. I liken this to how some people use turn signals when driving… and some are idiots.

I always open a door for a woman or for people carrying something, and always hold a door open for those following behind me. They usually say “thank you.” I thank those who do this for me, though not profusely. I am not concerned when my courtesy is not returned. People are often preoccupied and there could be other reasons they do not acknowledge my act. What someone else does is unimportant unless it is obvious that they are intentionally being rude. Even then, I quickly dismiss the annoyance I may experience. Holding a judgement does me harm without doing anyone good.

Public courtesy like chivalry is a lost art form plus people are so wrapped up in their own lives and misery to even bother to look up from their cell phones to realize their are still a few ‘old school’ folks who know how to be respectful and courteous. Sad….

In my experience, people are generally nice and appreciate someone who is trying to be considerate.

It might be worth keeping in mind, however, that holding the door open for someone is sometimes annoying. It often means that while your intentions are good, you’re placing a burden on the person to feel obligated to sprint towards the door because someone is waiting for them. Even though door holding can be a bit annoying, I always appreciate that someone is aware of their surroundings enough to notice me, and is attempting to be nice. And in my experience, people generally respond positively when I hold the door open for them.

Another important thing to consider is that people have their own things going on, and it’s not always helpful to feel offended. A guy carrying his daughter may have so much going on his mind, that he’s checked out. Choosing to take this personally might be choosing to invent a fantasy about this man and his life. If you change that fantasy to something else, does it change your response? If his daughter is quite ill, he hasn’t slept in years, and he’s trying to figure out how he is going to go pick up his older kid from school, etc., it becomes understandable that he may have had a temporary lapse in his acknowledgment of the present moment…which included you holding the door open for him.

Despite the apocalyptic descriptions of a society without concern for one another, I find there to be a great amount of consideration and kindness out there.

I work in a university library and I am often amazed at just how oblivious people are of others in their vicinity. Often I will walk behind someone and have the door practically slam in my face. They genuinely do not seem aware that I am there. And these are the ones who are not wearing headphones. Often if they do notice I am there, they are polite and hold the door. If I hold the door open for someone they more often than not will say thank you. So I think it’s more about not noticing rather than not knowing that it’s nice to hold the door for someone.

I agree with @Stinley that there’s an awareness problem. People get so absorbed in their little inner worlds that they don’t see the grace of others. They see the open door, but they don’t see that the door is open because someone wanted to make your life a little easier.

Gratitude is a function of attention. With attention, you see that not only is there an open space in the traffic lane you’re trying to get into, but that there’s an open space because someone was willing to delay their journey for your sake. You see that not only is there food in front of you, but that it arrived via a long chain of kindness.

I’ve noticed people forcing me to hold the door for them more and more. The way it usually works is they pause on the opposite side of the door from me, wait until I get to the door and pull it open, then slip out. And I’m generally talking about double, swinging door. Just the other day I pull the swinging door open on my side and a man came bearing down, empty handed, and shot out the door. WTF?

To the question, I open doors for anyone coming out and anyone immediately behind me or reaching the door nearly simultaneously. I’m a guy and this used to be awkward if you opened the door for another guy – not so much anymore.

I try to always say ‘thanks’ audibly if someone opens a door for me. More enthusiastically if my hands are full.

You what annoys me more than anything? Old women that pass through the opened door without a glance or a nod. Like they’re entitled. About as much as I’m entitled to a “Thank you.” IMO

I’m pretty old school and those kind of courtesies are second nature to me, having been taught virtually from birth. I know that owning the store has made me much more aware of them however. I do find it interesting when you’re holding the door open for someone they will stop just short of the door and pick their underware out their butt crack or some such thing. That always makes me feel like a fool. Still, I lose nothing, so why not. A simple good morning usually elicits a smile and makes my day a little brighter. Common courtesy is not as prevalent as it once was but it’s not dead either.

I am a lifelong door opener and thanks-er. I learned manners from my parents and other elders, which I think is the only way we can learn manners.

If someone never said “Thank you” in some way, by a nod or by words, I never noticed.

With holding doors, I try not to be bothered by it. If I’m not in the best mood, I’ll maybe say “you’re welcome” in a tone that would be appropriate for if they actually did say thank you.

What really does bother me is when people are so absorbed in this “own little world” (most specifically while on their phone), that they have completely no disregard for other people. They take up the whole sidewalk and don’t do anything when they see me approaching them wanting to get by. They walk right in front of people and then stop walking, causing everyone else to bump into each other. Sending this text message is so important that they have to hold up the entire line and ignore me when I’m trying to take their order.
My biggest pet peeve is when it’s busy and they get on the train and don’t even walk in, they just stand by the doors. There’s like 20 other people trying to enter along with you, do I need to text you this information to get it into your brain?
I know, I really should let go of this. As @hominid said, who knows what’s going on in their life.
Oh and lastly, I’m all for burping in public, as long as nobody does it in anyone’s face.

I am always courteous when out and about. Years ago I was Christmas shopping for my mom in the local mall. I was at one of the counters buying her a perfume. I was tired, I was not in the mood to be there. But I was. I see this large woman maybe huge woman approaching the store. She proceeds to walk past me with bags in both hands, push past me.

I being me…turn to her as she is pushing past me say “That’s alright your excused.” The people in the store do not look at me but at her. She keeps walking as though nothing has happened. The clerk in the store who was ringing up my purchase said wow the nerve of some people.

Other people shook their heads and said she could of walked the other way around the other side of the display (display has things to buy for spouse/bf/gf ) for Christmas.

Stupid bitch.

I try to be courteous to all and remember that we are not perfect but trying is always ok.

I hold the door open for anyone and everyone if they’re behind me. I’ve had doors almost slam in my face because other people are so oblivious and it sucks. I was out to eat not long ago, waiting to be seated as an old woman with a walker and some other people were on their way out of the restaurant. The same thing happened to the old woman, only she actually got stuck in the doorway because it had closed on her walker. She wasn’t strong enough to get out and not a single person turned around to help her. So I ran back over to help her, then I continued to open the next set of doors for her, as well.

She didn’t thank me, but I didn’t mind. For all I know, it might have embarrassed her. I was more irritated with the people who walked out right before her since she was so close to them it should have registered. :-/