Why am I feeling strangely disconnected from my boyfriend?

Because you have a child together, and because you love him so much, it is important that you do what you can to save your relationship. Have you tried talking to a counselor? It is not uncommon that when a couple has a child, the time and energy given to the child seems to be taking away from the partners, and many couples seem to split within the first year that they have a baby. However, if you can get some good help, and both of you, since you do love each other, learn how to share your love with this child, I believe you will be able to work this out. It will be very worth it for both of you and so much for the child.

You subconscious mind is trying to tell you that you really don’t love him as much as your conscious mind thinks you do, or wants to. There are many types of love and what you think you feel towards him isn’t enough. Leave it to the subconscious to tell the truth when it needs to be known.

Very few relationships are meant to last forever. Forever is a long time.
I’d suggest you take some space and get really clear about what you feel. What’s this nonsense that if you were to split you wouldn’t take it well?

Dependency is not love and while the end of a relationship can bring sadness to stay in a situation that doesn’t feel 100% just because you don’t want to face the violins strumming, is, well, not healthy or mature.
True “love” is always about wanting what’s best for the other, and if you’re not feeling 100% you need to figure out why and take action to either free your boyfriend or take steps to get things back on track.

So, 22 months ago it was just you and him. It was a fresh, new relationship, you were learning about each other and about yourselves as a couple. Giddy times, snuggling, wild sex in all kinds of different places and ways, counting the hours until you could be back in each others arms; licking whipping cream off of unnamed body parts; sharing hopes, dreams, plans while laying in each others arms on a lazy Sunday morning.

Fast forward a few months (let’s say 22); now there are three of you and so you no longer have time to invest 100% of your time in each other, it has to, or is, split to include the wants, needs and cares of a little one. It is no longer the two of you who, on a whim, can go out to “Joes” party on a Thursday night or meet “Monica” for drinks at 5:30 this afternoon or even meet at lunch for a nooner without falling asleep. Now it is wondering if it is your turn to change the diaper? and who takes the 2 am feeding? and why am I having to take care of another person who is totally dependent upon me? I didn’t sign up for this! “They” never said motherhood would be so involved and take up so much time!

In addition, you have had 22 months to learn that he farts at random (and probably inopportune) times, he leave the toilet seat up, he can’t seem to put a dish in the dishwasher and probably a 1000 other little annoyances that are a part of living together. He is probably not happy that you leave crap all over the bathroom counter top and clip your nails on the sofa while y’all are trying to watch Netflix or have to have seventeen different shampoos for whatever phase your hair is in that day.

It is all part of growing up. Learn to make a life together and realize that nothing ever remains the same. The only thing constant is change.

As Grace Slick said: “Life is Change; how it differs from the rocks.”

What he said. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I guess I stopped over the words ‘and all the things he does for me’. Then you can’t do anything because it would have a negative effect on you? He won’t give up on you. Wants everyone to be happy…What?
You’ve got a kid. It’s not all about you anymore. Life changes, and will from now on. Get over the self, and grow up into the US.
It’s always going to be about your child, not anything else. rojo is 110% correct.
Welcome to accepting responsibility. If you want happy- you need to work on it.
You’ll be ok. You made adult decisions. Now get to it, and thank your lucky stars for your status quo. Raise a great kid.

Relationships have their ups and downs, and with yours, you’ve added a little baby into the mix. It’s bound to have a rough patch, and many new parents have experienced the same. In addition, you’ve gone past “the honeymoon period” where you’re getting to know more about each other and like has been said above, living with someone tells you the good, the bad and the ugly (i.e. toilet seat issues, etc.). Part of your issue might be hormonal, your hormones going back to what they were pre-pregnancy.

I say give it some time and don’t make rash decisions.

Since you had a baby with this man you now have a responsibility to try to work through your feelings of disenchantment. It’s not all about your feelings any more.

It’s possible that you have postpartum depression. If you’re feeling detached from other things you used to care about, and not just your boyfriend, that makes it even more likely.

I’ve never had a kid. But it seems like a major episode of depression + the exhaustion of caring for a new baby does a number on many new mothers.

Even if that’s not what’s going on, it never hurts to find a therapist or support group if you’re feeling wonky.

Go see a counselor or a psychologist.

Having a baby often puts couples through some difficult times. I know many women who became apathetic towards their husbands when the baby was very young.

Has your SO’s behavior changed? Do you feel he is less connected to you? You aren’t fighting a lot so I take that as a good sign. When I first read the question I thought maybe he is cheating, but when I read further it doesn’t sound like it.

What specifically do you want him to do to make things better? Maybe go to a marriage counselor for a couple of visits. Just to help you two communicate better.