Can we all mourn our friend together?

I bow my head to this loss, which I feel personally.

I won’t be able to come up with anything profound right now, so I’m not going to try.

Bye, Gail.

Rest in peace, my friend. I’m sorry we’ll never do that weekend at Kripalu together.
I’ll think of you as I appreciate this New England autumn.

The Summer Day
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
—Mary Oliver

May you fly among the stars and celestial skies free of pain and liberated from the earthly shackles. Rest peacefully as an ethereal part of your beloved universe. Farewell sweet, sagely lady.

I read this with a sense of shock and disbelief.

Don’t know whether to GA posts or not but I guess I will.

Such a sad loss for our community and the world in general. Enjoy the stars, Gail. Your presence will make them shine more brightly.

I can no longer pray for her, but prayers will continue to go out to the family and others she departed from.

I am crushed. The world is a little lighter, smarter, and proper. Gail was a wonderful contributor, and a voice of sanity and restraint. Vaya con Dios!

:(. Somehow I didn’t think it would happen this soon.

I always think it would be great for jellies to get together for a party, and I find myself thinking Gail’s passing is such a loss to us in the Fluther community that I wish we could all attend her funeral. What a showing that would be!

Sorry for your loss @janbb, I know you were close friends with her, and condolences to her family.

I am profoundly saddened by the loss of such a bright and shinning star.
I love you Gail.

Aloha ‘oe, Gail.

I am moved. This is a loss.

And hugs to Jan.

There is a big empty space.

I’m in tears. I miss you, Gail.

Heartbroken. The world will be a dimmer place without you, Gail. I love you.

Was Gail related to skfinkel?

My heart hurts. I will miss her deeply.

@Brian1946 They were sisters-in-law.

I’m so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with Alison and the rest of the family, and with Milo of course.

I’m sorry to hear this, and surprised by how soon it came after the last update. Her family is in my thoughts as are all of you who will miss her dearly.

I read this through tears, crying for a woman I never met in real life, who touched my life in ways few have managed. Thank you Gail, the world is a better place for your having been in it. I will always remember you (and Milo) with love and a smile. —SuperMouse

No words. Condolences to her family.

Oh Gail…how I wish you could have stayed.

As the Rabbi says: Gail is niftar. (In Hebrew, literally: “released from service.”)

Her final act of kindness was to bring us all together. Thank you.
Rest in Peace, Gail.

I promise to keep the Barbados lilies watered.

Thanks Gail, for being a part of our lives.

RIP

Goodbye dear Gail. I’m going to miss you terribly.

@Symbeline En francais, s’il vous plait pour l’honneur de Gail. (de la Gail?)

I imagine that the lanes of plantings and trees that are surrounding your home are vibrant with the colors of their dying. I hope that those who you love and love you will find themselves comforted by the vibrancy you brought – even through your last days. Rest in peace, dear one.

I’m sorry to everyone that knew her personally. It’s terrible that such a knowledgeable person left the community.

@janbb A great idea. :) Au revoir Gail, tu va me manquer terriblement.

And because Gail would loooove the explanations…au revoir literally translates to until we meet again. Weather one believes in an afterlife or not, this is typically used and understood as a farewell. You can also say adieu.

And yes; de Gail, not de la Gail.

Edit; and Gail would totally have corrected my “weather”. Her loss is too sad.

Wow. Just wow. I haven’t been here in a while so this is a complete shock. We didn’t always agree but she was like the mom here.

Whether, @Symbeline. You know Gail wouldn’t give you a pass.

Fluther’s Grande dame: “a usually elderly woman of great prestige or ability”.

Condolences to the family.

I’ll never see another Indigo Bunting without thinking of Gail.

I’m sorry for us, for her family and for Milo. However I’m happy she is released from suffering.

Thank you for everything, and I will miss you. My condolences to Ben and the rest of the family.

Love, Devi

She covered what I wanted to say too.

:(

She lived life well, and is now at peace. We who knew here grieve, but were so enriched by her time on Earth.

The bright first magnitude star in our collective sky. Shine on Gailcalled. The glow lingers.

May her memory be a blessing.

Except for a small handful of you folks, she never saw any of us, but she knew us all.

Gail will be missed sorely. I hope Alison will be able to give Milo the love and attention he needs. He was a much a part of Fluther as Gail was, I hope he’ll pop in from time to time : )

Gail would roll over in her grave at the use of the word “internment”. I know she’d say it herself if she was here.

I’ll miss her as much as anyone.

I don’t know what to say…

I’m glad to know that her passing was peaceful, and that she was surrounded by love as she went.

Thank you, Gail, for being part of our lives.

@CWOTUS Thanks. I wanted to say the same thing.

@CWOTUS I think you mean “if she ‘were’ here…” (In honor of Gail.)

I will miss her more than words can express.

…

I didn’t expect it to be that soon.

Rest in peace. You have contributed so much to this world, now it’s time to rest.

Good lord. I’m so sorry dear Gail. I hope you are among the stars you loved so much.

Love,
Chris

There’s nothing adequate to say. Her friends and family lost an amazing woman, and the Fluther community lost one of its best users. She won’t be forgotten.

She helped me through my mother’s illness and death. Now I feel like I’ve lost another Mom.

Saddened to hear Gail has been called.
Please watch over and help Milo.

I don’t know what to say. I didn’t know her as well as some of you did, but we exchanged a few messages. Her compliments meant a lot to me. I think I’ll make some rosemary soap. Rosemary is for remembrance and something natural and botanical will remind me of her. And a poem:

Dirge Without Music – Poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.

Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains,—but the best is lost.

The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the
love,—
They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not
approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the
world.

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.

:( sad, sad news.

So was I once myself a swinger of birches.
And so I dream of going back to be.
It’s when I’m weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig’s having lashed across it open.
I’d like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over.
May no fate willfully misunderstand me
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return. Earth’s the right place for love:
I don’t know where it’s likely to go better.
I’d like to go by climbing a birch tree,
And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk
Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,
But dipped its top and set me down again.
That would be good both going and coming back.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.

Adieu cher amie, mon bon cher amie.

The world is lesser for it. My condolences to the many, many people she touched in life.

So very sad. What a life she led! She touched so many people.

My heart goes out to her family. It is very hard to lose your mother, wife, sister.

Ah, Gail, goodbye, dear friend. I am missing you already. My eyes are red, and I am weeping.

What a legacy you have left, Gail! Someone is making soup in your memory; another will never see an indigo bunting without thinking of you; many will look over their writing with a more critical eye to avoid errors; your warm and kind words bolstered so many, giving confidence and warmth. Your giant vitality touched us all.

I was thinking of you just yesterday, enjoying a weekend trip to Philadelphia, such a beautiful city, especially in fall. Now I won’t get to tell you about that visit. I will miss sharing things with you: wildlife and bird sightings; humorous on dits; so many things.

I am not sure how I feel about an afterlife. It’s a mystery that I will find out about one day. But if there is one, I am sure that you are so happy to be reunited with your beloved John. That is how I shall think of you, happy and at peace.

It seems like such a little thing, but she sent me a coffee pot – a French press – so I could have good coffee made at just the right temperature. It meant so much to me. Those of you who know my obsession with coffee are likely nodding your heads.

I use it every morning, and this morning, I’m even more grateful to have the reminder of her friendship in this small luxury. So very sad, but so grateful.

A sad day, indeed; but another reminder to cherish our friends near and far while we can.

Ceci n’est pas un triste jour.

As a non-believer, I am amazed at how much I get from having found my spiritual home. The service and fellowship at my Unitarian congregation this morning was both comforting and touching. I want to share the Centering Thought from the Order of Service:

“Sometimes, before you make plans or resolutions, before you declare your heroic intent to persevere, you just have to cry.” Jaclyn Dolamore

Someone sent me Temple Grandin’s mother’s book. I never figured out who. I think I know now. *Tears.

I have been amazed at how much Gail touched the lives of all these people in our Fluther family. I feel so fortunate to have known her just a little bit. You will be sorely missed Gail.

The world lost a wonderful soul.
The depths of my sorrow are only tempered by the blessing of being able to say goodbye.

Oh, no. I was becoming more and more scared to come to fluther knowing this would be.

I’m in tears. May you live among the stars, Gail.

Condolences to her family and Milo. She was a wonderful woman who lived a great life. We are all better for knowing her.

Nikki and I just lost our neighbour this morning. He was in his mid 60’s. We sailed with the guy. Even sailed the Mackinac race with him. He was a wise and gentle giant.

Two people whom I cared for are gone. Tough times.

I feel like I’ve been living in denial about this eventuality for quite some time now. I am going to miss her presence here so very much.

Deepest condolences to her family. Gail managed to touch and enrich thousands of lives in her time on this Earth, including mine. That is an accomplishment we should all be so lucky to achieve. I will celebrate her life by trying to follow her example of helping those around me and making the universe a better educated, more rational, funnier, and happier place. Farewell Gail, you will be remembered fondly.

What an incredible legacy, to have touched so many lives. What a life well lived.

Oh, so sad. RIP, Gail.

This gem came to mind and is what Gail was probably all about.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

Such sad news. Vale Gail.

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann’d:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

Christina Georgina Rossetti

Dear Gail, you made it count.

Thank you for all you’ve been and I’ll miss you.

Dear Alison,
My thoughts go out to you and your family. I wish you strength.

Was looking for this. One of my favorite mourning poems:

http://homepages.wmich.edu/~cooneys/poems/auden.stop.html

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone

W. H. Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

^Sobbing again.

And one of my best friend’s son, whom I’ve known since he was five, just became a father. Seems somehow fitting to post it here.

I so wish I could skip work and come to the service tomorrow, but alas I don’t quite have that flexibility. I guess it is more fitting anyway to pay my respects here, on Fluther, where we met. Gail, you were an amazing woman who offered a supportive backbone while I was teetering through my teenage years. Your insight into words and the human experience was profound and I think I’ll plant something in your honor.

@omfgTALIjustIMDu What a perfectly fitting thing to do! I will steal your idea and plant something in Gail’s honor too.

I think I’ll plant daffodil bulbs in her honour. I loved looking at her spring photos of her daffodils. What a lovely idea.

We were all touched by Gail. Her family will be in my prayers. Love and hugs all around.

I’m so sorry.

Damn. Thank you for sharing.

And thank everyone for caring.

We live in deeds, not years: in thoughts, not breaths;
In feelings, not in figures on a dial.
We should count time by heart-throbs. He most lives
Who thinks most, feels the noblest, acts the best.
__Philip James Bailey__

Safe travels, Gail. :(

Enivrez-Vous

Il faut être toujours ivre.
Tout est là:
c’est l’unique question.
Pour ne pas sentir
l’horrible fardeau du Temps
qui brise vos épaules
et vous penche vers la terre,
il faut vous enivrer sans trêve.
Mais de quoi?
De vin, de poésie, ou de vertu, à votre guise.
Mais enivrez-vous.
Et si quelquefois,
sur les marches d’un palais,
sur l’herbe verte d’un fossé,
dans la solitude morne de votre chambre,
vous vous réveillez,
l’ivresse déjà diminuée ou disparue,
demandez au vent,
à la vague,
à l’étoile,
à l’oiseau,
à l’horloge,
à tout ce qui fuit,
à tout ce qui gémit,
à tout ce qui roule,
à tout ce qui chante,
à tout ce qui parle,
demandez quelle heure il est;
et le vent,
la vague,
l’étoile,
l’oiseau,
l’horloge,
vous répondront:
“Il est l’heure de s’enivrer!
Pour n’être pas les esclaves martyrisés du Temps,
enivrez-vous;
enivrez-vous sans cesse!
De vin, de poésie ou de vertu, à votre guise.”

—Charles Baudelaire

A strange choice, perhaps, but I have no doubt that Gail would have understood. The world does its best to beat you down, and it is only by throwing ourselves into passion that we avoid becoming the martyred slaves of Time. To be drunk on poetry and virtue is to let beauty hold you up when life is pushing you down.

Gail’s was an intellect for the ages. She would send me messages discussing poetry and philosophy with equal ease and fluency. But her heart was as vast as her intellect. Hearing that I had a tedious, three-day task in front of me, she volunteered to drive ten hours just to keep me company (and even offered to help if she could).

I know that not everyone appreciated her grammatical corrections, for which Gail was notorious (in both the original and modern sense, depending on your perspective). But she pushed us towards artfulness in our language because she believed in us. She believed that we could become better communicators and that we would be better off for it.

It was a labor of love—love of language, love of Fluther, and love of her fellow jellies. A strange choice, perhaps, but one I hope we can all understand.

I will attend the service.
I have these beautiful comments on a device and, if asked by her family, will gladly read a few. Otherwise I will sit quietly in the background and send our thoughts telepathically.

Thank you, @LuckyGuy .

Thanks @LuckyGuy

Mahalo, Lucky.

I wish that circumstances would permit to accompany you @LuckyGuy, but they don’t. You will be representing the Fluther community.

Yes – and we are grateful for your menschlichkeit.

Since the service starts at noon maybe we can all have a private moment at that time to think of Gail and her family.

Thank you Luckyguy for representing fluther.

@chyna Lovely idea. And maybe we can think a bit about what we are doing with our “wild and precious lives” and what advice Gail would give us to improve them. (fucking tears!)

I’ll be there with you in spirit, @LuckyGuy

^^Me too.

Those last lines of Oliver’s poem would make such a beutiful epitaph for her here on Fluther:

Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Thank you, Jan

Thank you all for coming back here and expressing your condolences. It’s been a really good thing to see and one last fine gift from the Grande Dame that she could bring us all together again.

Thank you for attending for all of us, @LuckyGuy.

My deepest condolences to Gails fine and wonderful family.

Zero editing time, dammit.

I meant to write the last four lines of Oliver’s poem.

@LuckyGuy You are, indeed Lucky, to be able to attend.

I also hope my hybrid morning glories will bloom in Gail honor again this year in her yard.
She got such a kick out of me shipping her the seeds in a Happy Cow box cheese box. haha
Good memories.

Sincere condolences to her family and friends.

Hugs to all, my jelly-pals!

I’ve never before been moved to tears by the passing of someone I’ve never met in person!

We didn’t particularly get along but never knocked heads either, she was a member here though & for that alone I say RIP.

@ucme You show an unexpected sentimental side, I think. Hey, for you, that’s pretty touching. lol

@Coloma No sentimental gush, just felt the need to post

It’s 7 pm and I am back in my hotel room after the service and family gathering

I was asked to speak and gave our tribute and thanks. One of the family members had printed out a copy of this thread and it was on display where guests could read it. I took bits and wove a story that highlighted her generosity and caring side. While at the house at least half dozen people independently asked me about this site and how to join.
Fluther was a side of Gail they never saw. I’m honored I had the chance to make the introduction.

I have an interesting aside. I drove in last night through the Berkshires – very dark roads with fast moving vehicles. . At one point there was a police car with blindingly bright warning lights on the soft shoulder in the left lane.behind 2 cars that were off the road. At that instant my headlights lit up a chunk of deer right in front of my Fiat 500 rental car. Blam! Thumpada! Thumpada! as it banged under the length of the car. . Since I did not lose control and no warning lights came on I just continued on my way. It was not until I was parked at the funeral home that I noticed the deer guts and blood on the bumper, grill, air dam and left side of the car. Yuk! As we were walking from the grave site one of Gail’s relatives pointed it out and said “Thanks for sharing that!” .Hopefully no one else noticed.
I will find a car wash tomorrow morning!

Thank you, Lucky. It means so much to me, personally, that one of us was there.

Thanks @LuckyGuy. It’s so nice to see everyone here can “attend” the funeral without having to come directly. Especially me, who is at the other side of the Earth.

And can we expect a new wave of newbies here?

Thank you very much for the report, Lucky. Have a safe drive home.

Thank you so very much for representing the Collective, @LuckyGuy, I can think of no one better suited. How wonderfully gracious that Gail’s family was so welcoming to include Fluther in the memorial! I do hope that some of them join us—all the more incentive for the prodigal Jellies (myself included) to stick around.

@LuckyGuy Gail would have loved that you were there and spoke. Thank you so much!

@LuckyGuy, thank you for representing the collective at the memorial. Just…thanks!

I’ll keep the candle lit in my avatar for a few days.

I was at Harvard today. I have family that I’ve visited who live off the Taconic parkway. And Providence? Waterman Street? All these familiar places…we’ve at least walked on the same roads, and that’s interesting to know.
I wish I had made here in time to be a part of the display. I could’ve even made it down to Sharon if I planned it and wasn’t observing a class at 11. I think you’d like knowing that I’ll be teaching them next week. I’m thinking of you anyways. Au revoir, Gail!

I live about an hour and a half from Gail but was not available today, as I had to work. I am glad Lucky went to pay his respects and represented the site. I am glad, also, that it might bring an influx of new people.

I passed thru Gail’s territory every time I vacationed in the Berkshires and every time I went to her local county fair, every September. I used to think that one day maybe we would have met up for coffee or at the library book sale or something.

Thank you @LuckyGuy! You have done a great service for Fluther – even if not for one poor deer!

Thank you, Lucky. It’s comforting to know a jelly was there, and it’s heartening they included us.

In some societies a deer may have been sacrificed to honor the recently departed.

Just sayin’...

@LuckyGuy It truly is wonderful that you could attend the services and share a bit of Gails online “family”. How fun of some of her friends and family might join. I hope her profile remains intact for at least awhile too. I salute your presence at the services today, just so nice you were able to attend.

Glad the deer carcass didn’t cause you an accident, some gore on the grill is better than flipping a Fiat

I wish I didn’t live far enough away to prevent attending but it’s nice to know you were there to represent us all. Thanks @LuckyGuy.

I hope you were sent off with a pair of gardening gloves as I hear heaven is pretty fertile ground. Your passing was stoic, brave and full of love all around. Alison, Milo and many others will certainly miss your presence but the memories you shared here will live on for a long long time. The Tulips that pop in the spring will always remind me of your love of things that sprout from the earth.

I miss her.

It’s funny how you really do feel strong emotions in your heart.

Miss her so much.

@LuckyGuy I’m so glad you were there. Thank you. <3

I didn’t know her long.
I didn’t know her well.

Still, I am broken hearted.

I have labored over how to best express how I feel. I can’t. Instead, I will extend my wish for peace and healing to those she touched so deeply.

In an effort to better bring her near to me, I went through her question history.
I found a very colorful, caring, yet whimsical woman there.

Here is a link to the very first question she ever posted on Fluther.
Funny girl. Fine woman. I wish I could have met her sometime.
http://www.fluther.com/457/why-do-some-guys-leave-the-seat-up/

I just shared some thoughts with @augustlan, and I decided I would share my thoughts here. I was so glad to read someone had printed off the threads about Gail to share with her friends and relatives. It’s quite rare for children, and family generally, to see us through the eyes of our friends, work colleagues and the people we’ve touched in our lives. We may think we know the people we’re close to, but we can never see them through the eyes of the other people they interact with. Often those interactions are quite different to our own. This thread, and the earlier thread started by @LuckyGuy, show how loved Gail was. Not just by her family, but by many people she’s never physically met, but nonetheless has touched. I hope our words and thoughts will provide a little comfort for Alison and her family once their grief has eased sufficiently for them to read the documents again.

Fluther provided us with the opportunity to meet and get to know Gail. It also provided us with a mechanism through which to say goodbye. And those goodbyes can be treasured by her family. I’m very grateful for the time we had to send our love.

What @Earthbound_Misfit said. I will miss her I always loved reading her posts and answers .

She had such a lively, intelligent, caring presence. Some people just bring light into the world; she was one of them.

The passage of time is so surreal when someone dies. it has already been almost 5 days since Gail reposed on her laurels and I think of how all of our lives go on. We are still counting our days and she is resting in silence, no longer aware of the passage of time. In the meanwhile my earthly form is calling me to dinner.

She was suggested to me on LinkedIn today…

Although I’m sure she’d like to, not sure she’s going to be giving you an endorsement @Seek.

I just miss her more with each passing day.

Of course, Misfit. It’s just sort of funny (not funny haha, you know what I mean) how our internet accounts just stay there like nothing’s changed.

@Seek What I find really disconcerting is when people post FB birthday wishes on the accounts of people who have died and you don’t know from the wording whether they are aware of the death or not.

@janbb I think they don’t know about the person’s passing. People who know I think would write something that clues us in, like “remembering you today,” or “missing you on your birthday.”

I still don’t know what to say :-( xxx

I do know @Seek and I got it. I should have put ~. I think Gail might like that she’s still out there, dropping in on you. Make sure the grammar on your LinkedIn page is ticketyboo.

There’s a question here about what should happen with the sites we’ve set up after we die. How long do we want them to go on for. I think it’s nice that people have a place to say goodbye and leave messages for the family, but is there a point where the sites should be shelved? Not really asking here, just pondering.

Since most of us here don’t believe in ghosts, or that dreams have any meaning, wouldn’t it be neat if Gail could come to one, some, or all of us in our dreams and let us know how it’s going?

Kind of like a spiritual internet.

Gail came to me in my dream last night. She was disgusted with the (fake) article about the old woman making coats out of the neighbor’s cat. She pointed out that in the article they used the word “women,” instead of the singular “woman.”

I would not like for her page to go away. I sort through old pages every week. I learn things. I laugh at things others have already seen and laughed about. I enjoy the old days, without having been a part of them, though, I must admit a twinge of jealousy.
I don’t want any pages to be retired, unless the individual has chosen to do so themselves.
When someone new comes along and asks the question, “Who is the most popular person on Fluther?”, everyone will have her profile page there to provide a link.

For the record, not all jellies deny a spiritual existence.

I wonder if Ben and Andrew could approve some kind of a symbol, to put on Gail’s page, so it can be kept up in perpetuity, but so that people who come here, having not known her, will know that she has passed.

Maybe we can put a symbol on @anartist’s page too.

Maybe one of the more creative Jellies can work with Ben and Andrew to come up with an appropriate symbol.

@Hawaii_Jake Oh I know that. I didn’t mean any disrespect, my friend. It was mostly that we always joke about the “What does this dream mean?” and “Do you believe in ghosts?” questions.

I didn’t think you meant any disrespect. I was just stating a fact.

I think preservation is essential. What a great idea.

Yes. Maybe an entry can be made that says something about their passing, or the date they died. For Gail maybe put a link to the Q LuckGuy wrote with all our posts telling her how sad we were to get the news and what she meant to us. That way if anyone wanders into her profile they can link to the Q and see how important she was to us.

Also, maybe make a note of her lurve count the day she died (more or less) and then if the lurve has gone up it shows the person continues to get GA’s from people still happening into old Q’s.

I still just can’t wrap my mind around this.

I say we leave a page alone. The way the user left it.

but that’s just my opinion. I don’t want mine messed with when I pass.

Well, I will remember that, Damnit!

My heartfelt condolences to all.

I believe @skfinkel can access @gailcalled’s Fluther page.

I’m sure the family can make a post on Gail’s page if they think it appropriate.
I think it might be nice to just add a link to this question. Notification and tribute in one.

^
That could be cool, but otherwise I agree that her page should be left as it is.

Instead of changing a profile page, maybe have a status page which tells of persons we love who are gone permanently, or also on major absences, such as orbiting Earth, or deep under cover, or filming on location. We could all follow the page, then when someone new comes, they have easy access to see and also follow.

^
^
for me.

I asked a meta question to continue this discussion so we can leave this question to those who want to mourn Gail.

This is Alison, Gail’s daughter—I have added to her profile with a note which I will copy here:

From her daughter, Alison:
Thank you for all the tributes, support and affection you gave to my mother over the past weeks. I know she appreciated it. I will be taking Milo with me back to Squamish, British Columbia, where he will become a Canadian kitty, living in one of the most beautiful places on earth (next to Spencertown of course). Here are the links to all of your kind words about my mother, Gail.
http://www.fluther.com/184736/can-we-all-mourn-our-friend-together
http://www.fluther.com/184301/can-we-send-our-thoughts-and-love-to-someone-called-even/

Thanks for the update, Alison!

Lovely. Thank you, Alison!

I love seeing that little red beret!

Alison, it is very kind of you to take your time and give us an update. It is appreciated greatly. Thank you.

Also, I’m so glad you’re taking Milo home with you!

Otherwise we’d all have to adopt him and he’d be spending a lot of time on trains and planes!

Milo might prefer warmers climes.

Thank you, Alison

Thanks, Alison.

Thanks Allison. Gail is much loved.

Thank you, Alison. I hope these tributes have brought you some small comfort!

Thank you, Alison! Safe journey.

Thank you so much, Alison.

Yes, Thank You Allison and do let us know how Milos adjustment unfolds. So happy you could take him, he has become as much of an icon here as your mom. I know this is very happy news indeed.

Thank you for taking time out of your day to let us know, Alison. Both Gail and Milo were loved. I know it brings comfort to many of us to know that MIlo will be in good hands.

Thank you so much Alison. Thanks for the update on Milo. He will love it there. Maybe one of these days you could post a picture of his new digs?

Could you make sure Milo has access to a keyboard. I miss the posts he made when Gail wasn’t looking.

We’ve had some mice scampering about the lagoon. Could Milo take care of them before he moves?

Thank you so much Alison.

Alison you so nice to hear Milo will be with family.

Well you were Milo’s original Mommy before Gail so his adjustment should be fine. It will just be a different place.

But I’m sure he will miss Gail as much as the rest of us will.

Dear Alison, take good care of our kitty boy and please keep in touch with us all here on Fluther. We would love to hear updates about you and Milo. Please give him a kiss on the head and a tummy scratch from me : )

I wonder if he’ll start saying meoweh?

Gail, You are missed.

Cheers Gail, in that great netherworld or abyss of nothingness. This glass of Meritage is for you tonight, on this fine fall evening from your fellow country gal out west.

Knock knock, Allison? Updates on Milo please. :-)

Oh, my god. I was away and I am deeply saddened to hear that this has happened. We love you, Gail.

From Wundy: I really appreciated all her support and conversation those years ago. My thoughts are with her, now. I’m sad that it’s come to this so quickly.

@wildpotato I tried to find Wunday on my Facebook. We must have become unfriended somehow. Please tell him hello from me. I miss him here.

Tell Wunday, “Hi”. I need a different view sometimes Wunday had it.

I think Wundy used to have a FB account under Wundy but I think he deleted it.

Sic transit glorius mundi!

Close. Gail would have corrected you gently, so I will, instead: Sic transit gloria mundi. Unless you had a pun in mind, in which case the correction is on me, I suppose.

Thank you kindly for the gentle correction. I am a dabbler in Latin; never really studied it.

Gee, @janbb, I would have expected you to say “Sic transit Gloria Wundy”. ;-)

@canidmajor I just pmd that exact pun to @CWOTUS. (It came to me in the bathroom.) We are brilliant!

Great minds…and all that! :-D

Oh, believe me, that was in my mind but I didn’t want to suggest it as I was writing earlier. Apparently, then, it’s not just great minds that share attributes.

It’s all those Northeastern brainiacs!

Must be those mega cold winters you guys get, cryogenics for the brain.
Keeps your brains in a state of arrested aging and then allows a faster connection when they thaws out. haha

@janbb “Sic transit glorius mundi!”

Sic transit gluteus mundi?

Or “Sic transit gluteus maximus”?

(Gail would be so happy to see puns on her tribute thread!)

@janbb Gluteus mundi resonates with me because of the world map. ;)

@dappled_leaves Ah – got it now! Perfect!

Ha, you guys are funny! I inherited her language gene, but can’t help with the Latin. Milo is doing fine but we haven’t left yet. He might not be so fine on the airplane out to BC but I’m sure he’ll adjust once we get there (and he gets to meet my other cat, Betty). I will let you know once he has emigrated to Canada.

Thanks
Alison

Thank you, Alison. We appreciate hearing about Milo.

And I love seeing that account’s picture in the thread.

Thank you, Alison. Your post warmed my heart.

We all love when you drop in Alison.

Thanks Allison, we are all as fond of Milo as we were of your mom. Milo feels like everyones cat here. :-)

^ Actually, Alison, I was fonder of your Mom than I am of Milo but I’m glad to hear he is doing well.

@janbb Well…you know what I mean. Okay, almost as fond of…haha

Milo and Betty. Wasn’t that a Movie?

Thanks Alison, for keeping us in the loop about our favorite kitty : )

@wildpotato Please tell Wunday I say “Hi!”, too! I was just thinking about him yesterday.

@wildpotato: Yes, say hi from @jca too.

Will do, everyone.

Tell Wundy @Kardamom says hi too.

Thought this thread was about Gail.

@janbb Sorry, no offense meant. I’ll save it for PM next time.

I haven’t been around for a while now not sure how long. I am so sad to read this. Gailcalled was one of the best memories I had of fluther, when I was around much more. I feel a deep sense of loss and am even shedding some tears. She was always so gracious, so wise and so worth reading. I could go on and on, of course,but as Gailcalled would wisely say ‘Get on with real life…. My condolences to her family, what a wonderful person she is/was.

Milo update: He was an amazing traveler and made it into Canada after 13 hours of travel by car, two airplanes, and a bus. Mom would have been proud!

https://picasaweb.google.com/117325052731774420760/MilosJourneyToCanada

@gailcalled – Alison: The link doesn’t work for me. Do you need an account to view it?

So glad that Milo made it all right. I hope he settles in comfortably now. Does he have something of Gail’s to snuggle down with?

Try this instead:

https://goo.gl/Hqe30Y

When I look at the picasaweb, I can see his pix. I saw “Last NY stroll” and the other two.

When I look at the one right above this, I get “create Google account.”

Such a cool cat.

there are only three pics so you saw them all.

@gailcalled Alison – Thank you. It’s very kind of you to keep up with us and tell us what’s happening with Milo. We all appreciate it greatly. I enjoyed the pictures very much. There is a picture of Milo taking a stroll, and it looks lovely. He looks well loved in the plane, too. I doubt he enjoyed the carrier too much, though.

Dear Alison, thank you so much for taking the time to keep us updated on Milo’s adventures. We really do appreciate it. It was very nice to see him on his journey.

@gailcalled ( Allison ) I can see all 3 pics just fine. Wow..thanks so much for the update and Milo looks like he is a first class travelin’ cat.
Aaaah life, one never knows where it will take you. This is true for our cherished furry friends as well.

It is so wonderful you could take Milo! Cheers to you and a very Happy New Year for you both!

Thank you Alison! Milo was a trooper. Gail certainly would have been very proud of him.

Alison, take care of yourself too. I know you must be missing your mom an awful lot. Please stop in Fluther and let us know how you all are doing.

@alison Thank you so much. Milo looks completely relaxed and as though he has maintained his usual aplomb. Glad you both made it safely.

Please take care of yourself. Grief is a difficult and tricky thing.

I’m thinking that the “chilling on the plane” pic was taken just before he returned to the cockpit to captain the flight to Vancouver. ;-)

@Allison

You are indeed fortunate with Milo traveling. Your Mom often noted how just her taking him in the car to the Vet resulted in him urping up all over the carrier :)

You must have the magic touch.

Thanks so much for the pics and the update. Take care of yourself. Be well.

I honored my friend by reading every single tribute before replying.
So, Gail, it is with lightened heart that I bid you farewell.
You were always a proponent of “read before replying”.
Your value and love is expressed above. Reign forever, my queen.

Our Milo is now a world traveler : ) Thank you Alison for keeping us updated. I wonder if Milo will learn to meow in both English and French?

@Kardamom Gail had already taught him French.

He probably has a far better French vocabulary than most Vancouverites do. ;)

^^ Oui. Tabernac!

I mean, it is British Columbia, after all!

I have to admit, I get a little jolt every time “Gail Calder like this” shows up on my Facebook feed. And her email got hacked, I got spam from her. I don’t know quite how to feel – I like that she stays in my thoughts, but it’s still disconcerting.

If you are on the east coast it’s her birthday. December 31.

A fellow Capricorn. <3

Yeah, I just got that on my FB feed. Happy birthday, Gail.

Happy Birthday Gail!

How did she get my address to send me that book?

MIlo update: Here is a look at how he is doing in Canada! He has adapted amazingly well and is looking forward to when the rain and snow stop so he can explore outside more. Photos of him and the mountains to follow. Slightly sad news—he has been diagnosed with early stage kidney disease, which I guess is very common in older cats (he is about 14!) While getting a little skinnier, he is still very frisky and curious about his surroundings. At least Mom was spared having to watch him age!

https://picasaweb.google.com/117325052731774420760/MiloInCanada

Alison, thank you so kindly for the update. We wish you and Milo only the best.

Thank you Alison. He looks very content and happy. I hope you’re doing well.

Thanks for the updates. Miss your Mom so much; I think about her often.

Me too!

I was just thinking about Gail today. I’m waiting for gardening season and I wanted to share a photo with her. Then I thought about the daffodils I’m going to plant in her honor this spring. I miss her.

Thank you, Alison. xx

Thank you Alison. I too have been thinking of her this week with the planets aligning for the first time in 100 years. I know we would have talked about this. I miss her a lot.

Awww…Milo! Thanks Allison. Yes, Gail would have loved an astronomy discussion this week. :-)

Thank you very much, Allison.

Thank you, Alison. Keep us posted on the adventures of “Milo World Traveler”.

Thank you so much Alison. Milo certainly looks relaxed and at home. How does he feel about living with another kitty? I had an elderly cat with kidney disease. With regular water injections under his skin she lasted a while without suffering.

I think of your mom so often. I know that it must be very hard for you. Take care of yourself.

Thank you, Allison

Wish you and Milo all the best. My thoughts are with you and your mum, regularly, still.

Hi Alison, thanks again for the picture and update on Milo. We had an 18 year old cat who also had kidney disease. She lived a happy and comfortable life for 3 years, during that time, with us giving her a hydrating IV twice a day. Please give him a muzzle nuzzle for me : )

Dear Alison, I had a trip to the Berkshires this past week. It’s the first time I had a chance to see the beauty that Gail called home. She was in my thoughts and I thought I’d mention that her presence here is still missed.

It is very beautiful there. I am holding onto her house for now as it is so nice there and nice to keep her memories there too

I still miss her and think of her often.

She came up in my Facebook memories today, of course it was a botanical thread! It made a smile that it came up right after I saw the addition here. :-)

Awww…Gail.
I can’t believe it’s been almost a YEAR!
Thanks for the update Allison, how is Milo doing?

I’ve been wanting to tell her some of my dating experiences and also now about my new granddaughter.

I’ve been wanting to tell her my youngest left for college in the Berkshires in western Mass.

I still miss her and think of her often. Very often when I see a bird or a flower or a tree.

Every so often I have the urge to correct an error of spelling, punctuation or grammar. My first reaction is to stifled the urge; then I remember that Gail is no longer here to do it, so I do it in her honor.

She was the “grammar nazi”, a term of endearment in spite of any literal negativity.

Her efforts in that respect were a large part of the way that we jellies have maintained the high standards reflected in most posts.

*raises a hot cup of tea across the Atlantic on a chilly, rainy day in Norway To dear Gail.
Gail, I went to Sweden this morning on the bus just to go grocery shopping and look out the window at the forest.

You shop at Ikea too?!?
haha

Milo is doing very well. He has cat friends now that he lives in closer proximity to people, which he hadn’t had for years at Mom’s place. He and my other cat, Betty, have reached a detente. See below.

https://goo.gl/photos/26YQy3wWbwnk5VseA

I will spend a month in October at her place enjoying the incredible fall colors and might even change up her garden a bit (she believed in a low maintenance garden to the extreme!).

Cute picture, Alison. It reminds me of the relationship between my dog and her “cousin”, my sister’s dog. When one enters the other’s house, it’s sniff-sniff, wag-wag, then benign neglect for the rest of the visit

Love the name Betty for a cat! It means a lot to us that you update us on Milo. He was just as much a part of Fluther as Gail was.

@gailcalled Great picture Allison!
Cats, such snobbish little beings.
My guy “Myles,” a big b&w tuxedo ragdoll, has also reached a detente with the neighbor cat “Cricket” here.
The cat stare off, each lying about 4–5 feet apart on the borders of their respective turf, regarding each other with restrained disdain. haha

It is wonderful you are keeping your moms home, for the time being anyway, and getting to enjoy some forays back to the Walden Pond zone. Happy Autumn to you. :-)

Alison, thanks so much for the update on our sweet kitty friend Milo. It really means a lot to us to know that he is being well cared for.

Thank you, A. It was a pleasure to see Milo happy. Enjoy the fall in New York.

One more of the two co-existing in an uneasy peace.

https://goo.gl/photos/WdSzzFhNzyFv6Z2G7

@gailcalled Detente, feline style!

@gailcalled Looks like a stand off.

Love dem pussy cats!

Yeah, that pic is about par for the course.

I had two cats who existed with each other like that for well over 15 years.

At night one slept on my right and the other on my left. And there was never any case of “mistakenly” forgetting which side belonged to whom allowed or fireworks (much hissing, spitting, growling) would ensue.

But fortunately never any bloodshed nor anything requiring vet visits so I considered myself lucky.

But it never really got any better than that either. My first cat, Velvet, apparently vowed to never forgive me for bringing any other cats into the family.

And she was stubborn about it. Never relented. And she did have the final revenge for she just outlived them all, heart murmur and all :)

But I’ve heard and read stories of warring cats who did do real damage to each other. So, it’s much nicer to have a sort of cold war standoff rather than M. A. D.

And since Milo is the one looking relaxed and grooming himself, he doesn’t seem to be that adversely affected by being the new cat on the block.

All in all, not a bad situation for all involved.

Happy Halloween Gail, wherever you are, you don’t need to dress up in costume. The real you was just perfect. 372 days of missing you.

I’ve been missing Gail so much. I recently had a difficult situation involving my actual mother, and I just know my ‘Fluther mother’ would have offered the best advice (and as a bonus, she’d have been righteously angry on my behalf).

Hi everyone, It’s probably weird for me to keep posting on this but since it’s not very often, I thought it would be okay. Here is a nice shot of Milo’s morning routine with my other cat, Betty, in my new house (which my mother would have loved). They are not yet friends (blame it all on Betty), but as long as Milo keeps out of her path, things are settling in.

https://goo.gl/photos/gq5w5ioEoU1qo1SJ9

@gailcalled Betty sure has her boundaries set up!! Do keep posting – it keeps us closer to Gail and Milo. And congrats on the new house!

We love updates! Keep them coming!

@Allison

Awww….what a purr-fectly wonderful photo. Nothing more heartwarming than kitties by the fire. Thank you for continuing to pop in with little life moments of the infamous Milo. We all appreciate it greatly! Happy New Year to you and the pussies. :-)

We quite like updates to this thread. Thank you, and I like the picture.

So I see that Milo has acquired a variable square footage bed. I’m pretty sure he engineered that! ;-)

Please keep posting. Your picture came up as my son was sitting beside me. It gave me a chance to tell him who Gail was and what she meant to me. He was moved by the pictures of the cats and what I told him about your mother. It’s not weird at all. It is a touching reminder of a woman we all feel dearly about.

Thank you, Allison.

Alison, thank you so much for keeping in touch and keeping us updated. Your house looks lovely.

Thank you, Allison. Please keep posting.

What a nice January surprise Allison : )

Allison, Thank you for posting. It is a beautiful reminder for all of us.

:) Not forgotten.

I always enjoyed hearing Gail (or reading Gail, I should say) talk about Milo and his exploits.

Milo’s new neighbor cat was killed by a bobcat yesterday, which I saw lounging in my back yard after. Needless to say, Milo is not pleased about being chaperoned outside now! But the bobcat was beautiful!

Allison, thank you for this information. I am very sorry to hear about the neighbor’s loss, but I actually like the idea of the bobcat lounging about with aplomb after the crime. We are all happy when you pop in to give us news of Milo, et al.

Allison, you always make my heart beat happier when I see you have stopped in for updates. Never stop.
If you can wrangle Milo down, give him a hug from me. {{{hugs}}}

Thanks for sharing Allison, good to hear Milo is doing well.
Bobcats are beautiful, poor kitty, but that’s the way nature goes.
Here in CA. last week a Mountain Lion came through someones open french doors in their bedroom in the middle of the night and snatched their little dog right off the foot of the bed! I’m sure it was very upsetting for the family but I couldn’t help but feel admiration for stealth cougar.

Bet they’re keeping their french doors closed now. haha

Hi all. It’s been a long time. Not sure who is still on here, but wanted to let you know Milo is still going strong out here in BC. Here he is checking out the new car. Mom would be very happy!

https://www.icloud.com/photos/#0JZs4P1aIk3006Qk-xW89jrHg

Funny picture!
I got a weird chilling excited sensation for a split second when I saw your mum’s avatar/new post.
Hope you are doing good, and thanks for stopping by and let us know how Milo is!

Thank you for the reminder and update. It was a nice surprise. I’m glad to here Milo is still doing well.

Thanks for coming back to update us! Means a lot to us to hear from you.

(My heart skipped a beat when I saw her avatar too.)

He’s beautiful! Thank you for sharing. I think of Gail often.

Allison, thank you so much to updating us. I really appreciate it. I was thinking of Gail recently. This is a nice little kiss on the cheek. – Jake

Love that you’re still giving us updates – thanks!

Awwwww Milo <3