How do I cope -- a woman I cultivated love with appears to be mentally ill and has become homeless?

I guess I should preface that details here should be accepted as truth if you are to be of any help, which I desperately need—not for myself but for someone else, also.

I am a 51 year old man, have a masters degree, am an ordained minister, and yes, fully admit that I should be working / employed.
I’ve had some setbacks and some disabilities but they shouldn’t have held me back to this level.

I was underemployed for several years and while working at a bookstore, was shot in a robbery and went on Social Security Disability. I have lived with my aging parents for about 4 years after I was shot, and the deal works for us. They need my help around the house and for transportation to appointments. I am active in a good church which is sort of a benchmark in our community. I am comfortable but need to move forward with my life in the years I have left. I have a few things which could be financially profitable.

I am trying to re-gain entry into the job market and feel I have a lot to offer. But much work must be done. I have hording issues, and a few minor mental diagnoses of my own which keep me unfocused and disorganized. I am getting help, but progress is rather slow. Also, my parents worry excessively about me and my safety

Anyhow, about nine months ago, a girl/woman out of my past contacted me. She was in even a worse predicament than I was. She was living on disability for 10–11 years. She claims her disability to be sinusitis from a botched surgery and blames all her problems on that, but it becomes obvious that her problems are psychiatric. Howbeit, her parents have been living off her social security check, have mental illnesses of their own, and have been physically and psychologically abusive. The abuse was getting worse.

the woman was rather closed and hard to get to know at first, as she was all those years ago. But gradually, I won her love and all was well. I began making definite strides to move forward with my life in order to provide—in a possible marital relationship.I poured out my life, invested my all, in this relationship. She responded well to being loved. She even has become needy and codependent on me, which makes me uncomfortable. If I had money or a place of my own, I would take her in and care for her.

But the abuse from her dad (age 67) continued and the woman (age 40) is now homeless. I am actually impressed at what all she has done for herself in efforts to move forward and become financially solvent, but has far to go and has no money. I kept her housed in motels until my money ran out. Eventually we found a sister who would take her in, but there are too many people in that home and this woman is fast wearing out her welcome (at present, this is her fourth day in that home— I think this woman will be on the street again soon, and I have no more resources).

I love this woman but cannot handle the stress of trying to find shelter for her. I can get along with her by not crossing her or challenging her ‘reality’ but others argue with her. She isn’t violent but can get very upset if her beliefs are challenged. Otherwise, she is peaceful and functional.

I am not able to handle her problems and she is about to be homeless and on the street. I am not sure she will survive. She has no car, food, money, or transportation. I have provided these things but am out of resources. I myself have somewhere to go / be because I have a reciprocal arrangement with my parents that benefits all parties. But my parents won’t accept this woman in our home because my parents consider this their home and final retreat (its also messy). The arrangement might work, maybe not, but its my parents home and I don’t get a vote.

This girl has become clinging and dependent on me but seems to know I have no money and only wants my presence/love. She is clinging to the possibility that we could live together in housing for the disabled, but that’s several months away and I’m not sure that wouldn’t be a disaster.

I cannot even sleep due to anxieties from fears of where she might have to sleep tomorrow. Her homeless stint, and me housing her in motels until I went bankrupt, has shaken me with fear and trauma to the point that I wish I never met her. Yet I love her and want to provide.

Living together COULD work, but I do not believe there would be enough money to live, and neither of us are accustomed to living the ‘disabled’ life. I need a real career, and I’m not sure her plans are right for me.

This woman has come to rely on me for love and comfort. I don’t think she is using me. If I had money this would be no problem. But all I can do is watch her perish.