Why does she still stare at me if she rejected me three months ago?

Well, I can tell you what I used to do. Accept it and treat her normally as if you never asked. I think it’s common for women sometimes to see how you react to it even if they don’t realize what they are doing. It was not that uncommon to be approached by them after they have seen that rejection did not crush you.

…once a month I would throw a compliment her way and even flirted with her a little bit… is NOT pursuing her for a year. It is lightly friendly, but little more. And then your quick change in dealing with her after she said she was seeing someone is a bit bizarre.

She did not reject you, she told you she was seeing someone. There is a huge difference. And for you to take it as rejection, pain, hurt, is to discount her being honest and straightforward with you. So your being distant in reaction is probably very puzzling.

She is probably looking at you occasionally trying to figure out if you are as odd as your behavior.

Rejection is never personal, number one thing to pound into your head. Not everyone will be your type and you will not always be anothers. Not any different than not liking hot dogs or cats or anything else. You can have preferences and preferences are not rejections.

The girl/women said she was in a relationship so that was extremely honest and forthright of her, this is a great thing, to find an honest person and you should let go of this paranoid feeling of being “rejected.” Turn it around, if you were asked out by another girl and you were in a relationship and were honest about it, would you consider your honest disclosure to be “rejection” of that person? No, you would not.
It might feel a little awkward but it is not rejection.

Why not try to get things back to a more comfortable level, maybe bring in a box of donuts or something for everyone at work one day and just be casual, friendly and do not act weird.
A good way to break the ice you have created. haha

Zenvelo—I did not become distant intentionally. I was a little hurt and I also thought I should give her a little space after my approach. If I would have continued to flirt, it would have come across as still interested. Don’t want to become annoying creep. I am polite as I can when I have to deal with her though. I will try to keep it as friendly as possible without flirting or expressing interest.

Female perspective:

Girls get compliments. Kind of a lot. From lots of people for many reasons. Sometimes it’s an attempt at flirtation, sometimes it’s just appreciation for whatever they’re wearing, whatever.

An occasional compliment is not anything close to “pursuing a love interest”. It’s actually closer to “trying to become the gay best friend”. Wow, this dude is really into hair and clothes…

She’s probably staring because you’re acting weird.

Female perspective—I am not acting weird, I am still polite, just done with the compliments. How is that weird?

Since I don’t have the benefit of interacting with you in person, I couldn’t say for certain whether you’re coming off as polite or just eccentric, not can I ask your colleague what she thinks.

I can say that from your description of your actions, you’re acting weird.

By that I mean, you’re tailoring your actions in order to get a desired response, but going about it all wrong.

You’re over thinking your entire interaction. Be civil. That’s it. Don’t worry about how other guys act, or how you think you should act, or how you think she wants you to act.

Just be a person.

When I was young and in a relationship a handsome Military man asked me out and when I told him that I was engaged to be married soon he stated quite calmly ” well if you should ever become unengaged give me a call” and he gave me his phone number on a folded piece of paper. At that time I threw it away and married my husband ( dicorced after 11 years of marriage).
I always wondered about that nice man though…the one that got away.
But it was a nice gesture and I appreciated his calm gentle gesture.