Why a person isn't looking at you in the eyes?

They are dishonest or have self esteem issues. If it’s just once, or once in a while, trustworthiness. If it’s all the time, self esteem issues.

Some cultures show respect by not making eye contact.

Apparently autistic people can’t handle eye contact.

Or maybe they’re extra shy.

And I bet there are many other reasons why they won’t look you in the eye. Why don’t you ask them?

Because drilling someone with nonstop eye contact is creepy and unsettling. It looks insincere, as if the person’s been told that eye contact is a very good interpersonal skill, and that it should be done at all times. Better advice – good eye contact is intermittent.

Making eye contact for longer than a millisecond is considered rude in Japan.

I would say that they have ADD or are a nervous wreck. Just today I was talking to someone and they thought by looking away it was ok. I told them if they wanted an answer to their question they needed to pay attention. RUDENESS!

Drives me nuts when I am speaking to someone and they make no eye contact, at all!

People with varying degrees of autism can have a very hard time making eye contact. It can feel rude, but often autistic people simply cannot make eye contact (though they could still be paying attention to you) and you should consider their needs without feeling offended.

@omfgTALIjustIMDu GA!!! (standing ovation!)

I find eye contact very hard. I have to really force myself to look at someone when I’m talking or when they are talking. The effort of making eye contact reduces the attention I can give to what is being said.

To flip this – why is NOT having eye contact rude?

I have to work at making eye contact. I’m not “on the spectrum”, just pretty darned introverted. It’s worth noting that it’s generally easier for people to make eye contact while listening than while talking (this is a recognized phenomenon). That’s definitely the case for me; I can easily maintain eye contact as long as the other person is speaking, but when it’s my turn, I find it very difficult to formulate my thoughts while locking eyes.

I think it’s true of most introverts that social interaction can feel very intense, to the point of being uncomfortable. Steady eye contact can feel to me like grabbing a live wire; I can hold on for a little bit, but then I need to let go.

I have trouble making eye contact, too. I wish there was less of a stigma attached to that. When I avoid looking into people’s eyes, I am not necessarily lying/shy/shifty.

I often go for walks with my sister. She’s much younger than I am, and I’m entirely comfortable in her presence. And yet, I frequently notice her searching for my eyes when I happen to glance in her direction.

It always catches me by surprise. Finding people’s eyes just doesn’t enter my mind, unless I’m greeting them, maybe. Even then, it’s social custom which makes me force myself to find other’s eyes, as opposed to an instinctual “pull” some people seem to benefit of.

Americans are all about eye contact. I grew up hearing them say things like they don’t trust people who won’t look them straight in the eye when talking to them. My father used to say that. Here in the Caribbean, it is the opposite. It’s considered impolite to look a stranger or mere acquaintance in the eye for too long. Just a glance now and then suffices, otherwise it becomes too invasive. It’s a matter of mutual respect in this culture. These are not aggressive people and they enjoy a more laid-back lifestyle. American tourists sometimes have a hard time with that. I had to consciously make an effort to look people in the eyes when I talk to them when I went back to the States last year for a couple of days.

@longgone having a walk with someone is great because you have the perfect excuse not to look at them as you have to look where you are going.

Maybe they think that you may see something?
Maybe they are attracted?
I like to see waht colour there eyes are….I find it facinating.
By looking at someone directly when shaking hands it is a gesture of trust.

1. PLEASE don’t jump to conclusions and assume someone is rude or untrustworthy if they don’t reflect the same level of eye contact back at you.

2. As others above have rightly commented there are several reasons why one person may not make much eye contact as another person which make a lot of sense, including
a) Cultural expectations
b) Autism-spectrum related and sensory issues (in fact there is a well-known book with that title about living with Asperger Syndrome! – see http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/454856.Look_Me_in_the_Eye)
c) Shyness (especially combined with attraction)
etc

Perhaps the question should be “Why does a lack of eye contact bother me so much?”

As to the particular person in the original question, I would look at the other factors. You say they look away “when responding” – so they are not ignoring you. If they are responding in other ways, just use those ways to communicate, and then you will probably get to know them better!
I hope you give them a chance :-)