Which of your once deeply-held beliefs have changed as you have gotten older, and why?

Though deeply held belief is certainly overstatement, the 2 great fallacies of my youth involved the rationale trumpeted from the Catholic Church, and the myth of equity in the democratic process. No explanation should be required anyone witnessing the same realities as myself.

I used to believe “Love the sinner, hate the sin” was an appropriate attitude to have towards LGBT people.
Now I realize that there is nothing like that in the Bible and really I should be loving my neighbor as myself and not judging lest I be judged. I mourn the damage I caused to relationships I had with very good friends when I was a homophobe.

I once was pro-america

All of them.

I used to think if you worked long and hard you could get ahead, but once in the work force I found that false if you want to get ahead you, have to manipulate, crush, and be ready to walk over anyone who stands in your way.
Pretty nice world we created, huh??

@ragingloli I used to think the American government was looking out for my best interests.

And @trolltoll how old were you when you found that to be false??
Unless you’re in the top 1% you are something like a commodity something to be used abused to make money with and once worn out thrown away,pretty nice right?

@SQUEEKY2 I don’t know, really. It wasn’t an “all at once” sort of realization. I think maybe when I was an older teen and starting to question the legitimacy of the recent Iraq war was when I started to have doubts about it.

Another one: not exactly deeply held, but I used to look up to the police as figures of authority.

I used to be a staunch atheist. I’m not and probably never will be religious but I have opened my mind up to the idea that there may be a bit more going on.

I’d thought that I wanted children and would be a good parent. I tried, unsuccessfully, to have kids. I eventually gained enough self-awareness to know that I’d been lucky; I’ve never really liked or enjoyed kids, and I lack the patience to deal with messy, demanding little people. Also, my own parents were terrible at the job, often neglectful or abusive. What if I couldn’t have broken the cycle and, instead, perpetuated it?

I used to believe that appearing strong was all-important. I’ve learned to show how much I care, and connecting to others has become much easier.

I also completely bought the pack theory and dominance baloney as it is presented in dated books on dog behavior.

@longgone can you elaborate on the second part of your answer a little bit? I’m not familiar with those theories.

:Steps on soapbox:

The pack theory, and the term “dominance” in particular, are the root of many false assumptions made in dog training. Pack theory simplifies the relationship between dogs and their humans by reducing it to a master/servant concept. It assumes that any dog is constantly trying to one-up the humans, looking to climb the ladder toward leadership. As a result, there are a thousand idiotic rules out there – some trainers advise new dog owners to never let a dog win a game of tug, or not to let him sleep in your bed. Other advice includes always going through doors ahead of your dog, making him wait for his food until after you’ve eaten dinner, and putting him in “submissive down-stays” for misbehaving.

In reality, dogs pay very little attention to these games. Much of what we believe about dog behavior is wrong. Your dog is not dominant, despite what people may have told you. Dogs don’t look for an “alpha”, they aren’t constantly trying to “assert status”. Your dog can eat dinner before you do (and sleep in your bed), while still being a perfectly behaved animal.

Dogs are not even pack animals. Wolves are, but packs of wolves are organized very similar to human families – in a healthy pack, the young eat first, and while the parents do lead, they do not terrorize.

We made assumptions about dog behavior after observing wolves in captivity. Their behavior was very different from that we have since observed by studying wolves in the wild. This makes sense, actually – toss a group of ten adult humans into a small space, and they will probably turn on each other by day two.

Stepping off soapbox, after elaborating “a little” ~.

That gifts given to each from the begininng of your present life are to be trusted. Intuition and gained knowledge, when combined together, culminates in an accurate sense of what reality exists. It’s all in what you want or need to do with that gained perspective that determines one’s actions or reactions. No one knows a person as well as they themselves do. Changing others or manipulation of what exists is often done to fill a need, thought or repetitive responce. Individuals are more true when venturing as their own agent. It is a gift when given.

That Spring and Fall each end one thing and begin another. Celebrate all.

And finally, callousness is not a trait which is very becoming when possessed. So leave it behind and feel, express, and experience -as was meant to be.

Like, all of those wacky super-religious ones I used to have. I don’t carry too many beliefs nowadays.

I used to believe it was important to look after myself. Now I dont care.

^^^^ What do you mean @cazzie?

@cazzie Um, you need to. Even if you think it’s futile. Every second you spend here matters. Every breath, painful moment, joyous occasion and seemingly innocuous occurrence of your life has meaning for you and the rest of us who are influenced by it. It all centers around you caring about yourself because I can’t if you don’t.

I don’t care what I eat anymore. I don’t feel much pleasure for food anymore. I’d rather spendy days asleep or watching mind numbing tv. The odd childless days I have I just drink wine and sleep. I cry at the smallest of things. It is really embarrassing at the grocery store or on the bus. I end up taking full weeks off work just feeling sorry for myself. I dread every day and hope I don’t bump into any one I know.

@cazzie, have you been diagnosed with depression? There is help available. Wish I could give you a hug.

When did this start, @cazzie? You don’t sound like the person I’ve known all of this time. What has happened?

The carpet has been pulled out from under me.

I don’t think I’m depressed. I just think I’m surrounded by assholes who control my life and there isn’t a thing I can do to fix

Situational shit can cause depression. Hang in. The only thing constant is change.

Thinking of this, I thought of several things I once thought of in a certain way quite earnestly but do not anymore.

That the United States was a noble and honest nation and that true freedom abounded here. The US may be freer than other nations but there really isn’t freedom here. The vote means literally nothing. The US use to be the champion of fair play and equality that would never invade another nation, much less off the flimsiest of reasons, and would never have an off shore gulag where they tortured people.

I always thought bras were needed and that it was about support. Then I grew up and became a man and was able to actually see many breasts of all sizes only to discover a lot of women who wore bras did not have enough to support. The true reason manifested itself to me and that took away the belief I grew up with.

I also thought those on drugs were a small percentage of the population less they be rock stars or dregs on skid row. I now know different than that.

For a long time I thought people had sex with those they truly loved or had some deep attraction with, it was not merely reduced to a commodity one just does as part of a relationship like playing gold, going to show, etc.

Does Vietnam ring a bell, @Hypocrisy_Central?

Did the US you remember allow black people or women to vote? Did the US you remember turn a blind eye toward marital rape and abuse?

@Hypocrisy_Central what do you think is the reason women wear bras? I suspect it has something to do with modesty.

@trolltoll [… what do you think is the reason women wear bras? I suspect it has something to do with modesty.
It may have hid under the banister of modesty, and to some, it still does. The reality is that it doesn’t because a bra or lack of it does not promote or take away modesty. Would a woman be more modest in a micro mini that road the cheeks of her booty just because she wore a bra? No, she would not be seen as more modest. Look at Miley Cyrus, she can walk about basically topless less some pasties over her nipples and no one freaks, roll their eyes, maybe even frown, but as far as I know not seen as obscene. It is the sexualizing of the nipple and thus it being de facto evil, because it makes people, not just men, focus on sex (which is a backward exercise in itself). The breast even under clothes with ”bullets” or ”pokies” that resemble a breast naturally unclothed is worse than seeing all of the breast with pasties hidden nipples. To counter that society as long made it morally responsible to wear the bra, and the religious people in their ignorance fell right along with it. To sell it and make it palatable it was sold on the fear of sagging like a National Geographic African woman by old age, a myth that never was scientifically substantiated. But that is what one would have found out if they truly wanted to learn the truth and was not in denial because of how long and hard they accepted the societal lie.

I was thinking that @Hypocrisy_Central was coming around on the issues and answering the questions on how HE changed not in how the world changed. I don’t agree with him on a lot but I was actually impressed with a lot of his answer.

It depends on the size of the breasts. Large breasts that aren’t supported are really sloppy.

@Judi I was thinking that @Hypocracy_Central was coming around on the issues and answering the questions on how HE changed not in how the world changed.
I did answer on how I changed as I grew older, because I stopped just taking everything for face value. I started to investigate things for myself as to true cause or logic behind whatever the particular issue was.

“Logic”?

I wear a bra so my clothes look nice on me. And warmth. And protection against kiddies grabbing them. Soft padded pillows. They’re not on show.

I always maintained that there is good in everyone. I am having trouble continuing to believe that. I hate to say it out loud.

Ditto.^