We get asked these kinds of questions all the time on large multi-year power plant projects from clients (potential clients) who have no firm project in mind but want an “engineer’s estimate” of “what would it cost if I …”
They’re difficult quotes, because there’s no specification to bid to, no specific project site in mind (is it an island somewhere? in Siberia? – that was a real instance, by the way – what kind of fuel will they burn in the furnace? what kinds of air pollution control devices will they install? – the rest of the world does not usually operate according to the standards set in North America and Europe). So we tend to go on the high side of everything: figure difficult access, poor fuel, inexperienced construction labor / contractors, inattentive and unsophisticated customer project engineers, difficult suppliers (meaning schedule delays), etc. – and we add a factor to “that project X that we did once before” (maybe years ago) so inflation will be a factor, too.
Even so, on the rare times when the hypothetical project turns into an actual project specification, a defined scope and site, a more or less “real” schedule, etc., we often find that our supposedly conservatively-high estimate was not as out of the ballpark as we thought. (That’s partly because we, like you, apparently, try to keep our bid process in the real world and not automatically double the cost of these hypotheticals. But it’s also because our Sales and Tendering people enforce that method of bidding.)
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I’m also reminded of a rigger that my father knew and told me about once. He used to splice cable slings, chokers and other rigging supplies by hand, and was known in the industry for the quality of his work, which he performed by himself. Since the things he made were more or less identical and he had years of experience in making them, he could quote the prices that he knew would work for him, and which would make him price-competitive with others in the business. But he would also quote T&M rates (time-and-material, for those who aren’t in the contracting biz; he would quote an hourly rate for his labor, and a set price per unit of material, and the price charged would be a mathematical function of how long it took and what materials were used). He liked to quote and get T&M work, because he could do that as fill-in work at his own pace when he had no other work to perform, meaning that his business had very little “down time”.
But some potential customers would avoid taking him up on that offer, and insisted – just like your friend’s boss – “give me a firm quote” so that they would know they weren’t being taken advantage of. (One of the problems with T&M work is that if it’s not supervised or the contractor is inefficient or dishonest, the time takes a lot longer than it should, materials are wasted, and prices are consequently higher than they should be.) So when he got a “firm price” order he would typically do it as quickly and cost-effectively as he could, as if to demonstrate to the client, “See, you could have had it for half the cost, but you thought I was going to rip you off with that T&M rate.”
I don’t see anything wrong with your method of quoting. Customers always balk when they see the actual price. (And with undisciplined or unsophisticated customers, the inevitable change orders blow the estimates out of the water in the first place – and it’s never the customer’s fault, in their minds.)