Have you ever been a mentor?

Lots of times. It’s a great way to connect and make a new friend. Currently am mentoring an abused woman. She’s no longer an abused drama queen, but the leader and protector of the children in her home, even as she sets herself and her kids free from their abuser. It’s a delight.

Not every mentoring relationship goes as well. Sometimes they’ve ended badly, but I know I still helped in some way.

I tried over and over at work but looking back, not sure how successful I was. Regardless, I enjoyed doing it and I think my heart was in the right place.

I find it helps to have no expectations of how things go, or what my friend chooses to do. It’s THEIR life. I can only advise, and I’ll remain their friend regardless. But I’ll cut things off, and quickly if they start blaming me for the problems in their life. I won’t allow that nonsense.

Yes. My manager asked me to mentor a junior editor who was transitioning from the writing side. The opportunity caused me to codify a lot of the things I did by habit or instinct and organize my process into lessons with topics and exercises. It was only the second time I’d done something like that, and it was a great analytic exercise for me.

I think one of the best moments was when my student really got one of the workplace principles I’d mastered the hard way: Being a pro doesn’t mean showing off everything you can do in every job. Being a pro means doing what’s needed when it’s needed. And sometimes that means doing less than you know how to do. It means knowing how far to go and when to stop.

He looked dismayed, because he was so proud of the skills he’d gained and wanted to show them off, but I could see by his work that he got it.

I don’t know if that’s true for all professions—for instance, I want my dentist to do everything that’s necessary for the success of the procedure, even if it takes more time—but in my field we often have to settle for less than a full display of our skills on every job because that is not the way to serve the customer best. In many cases the customer (author, writer, client, colleague) can’t even handle or comprehend deep changes or delicate refinements. As one wise editor said, “Sometimes all you can do is hold your nose and fix the commas.”

I mentor my Fluther niece @longgone.

I should add: I really loved the experience of being a teacher. I don’t think I’d ever have been any good in front of a classroom, but one on one it was a very satisfying relationship. I learned a lot from my student, too, just as my father used to say about his students. And my mentee thereafter always called me “sensei” in private messages.

Yep, @janbb is very much my mentor. Proud to admit it!

I guess I may be mentoring my youngest sister. I didn’t set out to do so, it just happened. My parents split up when she was still fairly young, and she seems to have adopted me as an extra parent.

At times, I love being able to help her. I love that she trusts me with her secrets and feels comfortable asking questions. I’m very close with both my sisters, and I wouldn’t miss them for the world.

At other times, the responsibility becomes too much – I try to do and say exactly the right things, and naturally, I seldom manage.

Still, the good far outweighs the bad.

I have taken on the role of mentor for one of the students from the school where I’m teaching. She asked me to be a community mentor for her Senior Expeditionary Project.

I participate in mentoring relationships as both the mentor and mentee, formally and informally, and I oversee a mentoring program. While I think formal mentoring programs can be fraught with problems, when mentoring works, it’s fabulous. I enjoy both mentoring and being mentored. It’s great to see people finding their feet in a new situation and achieving their goals. I love those moments when the penny drops for someone you’ve been mentoring and they have a major breakthrough.

As a mentee, I have been lucky to have mentors in my life who have helped me develop confidence in my abilities. It’s a wonderful thing to have someone you can talk to who obviously believes in you and just wants you to succeed.

I wanna be someone’s minty!

You can be my minty @janbb. I’d be happy to minter (mint?) you.

Guess it’s working both ways at the mo-mint. Check your e-mail.

Gmail is withholding my mail. I’m going to have to move to my other laptop. The loading thing is stuck at 80%. I need a technical mentor.

Too bad, I’m just a tehcnical minter!

Lots of times. Sometimes pretty light-handed, other times very directive:
“You have to do this TODAY and then call me and tell me what happened.”

I had a smart friend long ago who’d had a very formal mentoring relationship. They had a
contract: the mentor would give him the best directions she could, and in return he would use them. That sounded strong and fair to me.

I’ve had people give me advice but not care if I took it. I’d rather they did.