Do your favorite things make you depressed?

Are you a musician or a composer? How well did your favorite composer play the cello? The violin? The French Horn? Probably not that well!

You are comparing your insides with the composer’s outside, his work. But you have no idea what personal internal struggles he or she had when writing it, unless it is one of the really famous composers, and then you realize they were mad, or obsessed, or unable to get it performed or a hundred other stories.

Oh, and feelings are never wrong. Feel them, and then ask why? And what would you do to feel differently? Then do that. If you need a constructive exercise, sit down and write ten things you are grateful for today. You can start with the fact you woke up today. It beats the alternative!

That’s not getting depressed by your favorite things, that’s comparing yourself with others. Many artists suffer from that too, because they tend to judge their work negatively. And like many other kind of comparision, the only way is to stop putting two pieces of work on the scale and focus on your own work. The comparing is just like apple and peach.

Some movies I love are very depressing. JFK, The Seventh Seal, Annie Hall. They all end on low notes.

Nope. My favorite things make me happy.

It’s quite the opposite with me. My favorite things generally distract me from depressing thoughts and nowadays it’s a good idea to have as long a list of favorite things as can be managed.

If, as in your case, I’m comparing my work to that of those at the pinnacle of the craft, then it can make me quite dissatisfied with my own work. But that’s different from the kind of “I’ll never be this good” depression you’re describing. It’s dissatisfaction with the current level of your own work that keeps you advancing after all, and seeing to what level others have taken the craft can shake you out of whatever complacency may have set in.

Ego is the problem. If you turn the inadequacy of your work into a judgment about your worth or capability, then you’ve created an unnecessary obstacle. Hence the depression. Every artist or craftsman does their best work when they manage to get out of their own way, setting ego aside. What you’re seeing in the work of masters is what can happen when ego-centered considerations like “how good am I?” are left behind.

Yes! I’m a lifelong baseball fan, and I watch countless games from April through October. I love the sport, but I always feel somewhat sad for the losing team. If the game is close and well-played, neither team deserves to lose. If the game’s a blowout, well, that’s just a Greek tragedy for the teams that’s down by, say, 10 runs.

The only exceptions – the Yankees and the Mets. Please lose, lose, lose, you losers!