Friendship deteriorated, now need to get her off my car loan. What are my options?

You’re wanting to take full responsibility for the loan is commendable, but not practical, or even necessary.

Your ex-friend has no claim on your car. All she did was guarantee that the payment would be made. Her name is on the loan, not the car title so she’s over a barrel if you don’t make the payments.

The best thing you can do is forget about her, and make sure the payments are made on time. Once you have enough equity to re-finance, you can do so then, but really there’s no hazard to anybody as long as the payment is made.

You’re actually giving her credit score a little boost when you make the payment.

@ibstubro Thank you for your reply!

Honestly, I just want to sever all ties with her because I am starting to feel harassed by her. She texts me weekly to ask for records of payment and full access to my online car payment account (which, for the record, I flatly refused not only because I have my entire banking information on there, but also because I do not feel obligated to do so). Her texts are incredibly condescending and, since she’s older than me (she’s in her 40s and I’m 27), she feels like she can talk down to me, which I do not appreciate at all. I just need to put an end to this ASAP so that I can have peace of mind and not feel like I owe her something for helping me out. I’ve never taken any money from her nor have I ever asked her for any favors.

I’m tired of her constantly reminding me that she is a great person for having helped me and that I should (in no uncertain terms) bow to her. I can’t live like this, I have more dignity than that.

I told her this evening, after one of her typically condescending texts, that until she starts talking to me like an adult, I am going to ignore all her texts. She wrote back “If you fail to respond on this situation we have a major problem and I will be fired [sic] to take a different situation [sic]. Maybe you should look at your own words but I am done!” There are too many typos in her texts, so a lot of times it’s hard to understand what she’s trying to say, but that to me sounded like a threat. Is there any action she could take against me that I should be aware of?

Okay, I wondered if she had requested being taken off the loan, but it wasn’t in your details, so I guessed not. It changes the question but, unfortunately, not your situation.

You should read this.

The way I understand it, she’s out of luck. She knows you made the payment because it appears on her credit report. If you don’t make the payment, she is sent the bill. That’s the long as short of it, as far as I can tell.

You might send her that link. As near as I can tell, she has every reason to remain of good – or at least neutral – grounds with you.

You might ask your lender if there’s any way they could notify her when the payments are made. That might eas her mind if you want. Otherwise, as near as I can tell, you can sever ties with her without repercussions.

The loan is in force and your co-signer is on the hook for the remainder of the loan. I would try my best to ignore her passive/aggressive behavior and go about your life. But I do have to ask if you could further explain your comment…

__If you fail to respond on this situation we have a major problem and I will be fired sic] to take a different situation [sic].__

The “I will be fired” is what needs further explanation.

From what you’ve stated here, the plain fact is that you can’t simply pay your way out of the loan, can’t refinance and can’t increase your equity enough in the vehicle immediately to refinance on your own. So you’re stuck with two bad options: selling the vehicle underwater (which leaves you paying for a car you no longer own), or leaving your friends on the loan as co-signers. (The other options are illegal, so I won’t even go there.)

With your prior credit history, low-paying job and no ready cash AND the deterioration in the relationship, your friends are understandably jittery about the prospect that they might have to pay for a car they don’t own, for a former friend who no longer favors them anyway.

No one is in a good spot here.

So here’s what you could offer to do as a show of good faith: Promise to send monthly notices of your payment receipts as evidence of your maintenance of the loan, on the condition that they no longer call to question, follow-up or offer unwanted advice.

If I may take a bash at translating Swype-ese:

“I will be forced to find a different solution”

@ibstubro Thank you so much for that link! It was very informative. From the get-go I told her that my intention was to eventually, when permitted by the lender, refinance and have the loan solely on my name as that is something we both felt strongly about, even when we were still in good terms. She is on top of me to get it done, but I have exhausted all my options and don’t know what else to do other than wait until my lender decides that they’ll refinance me or until I come into a large sum of money to pay off the whole thing at once. The latter is just wishful thinking.

@Cruiser That line is what she texted me this evening (If you fail to respond on this situation we have a major problem and I will be fired [sic] to take a different situation [sic].) I think she meant to say “forced” instead of fired. I try to ignore her texts, but they bother me to no end. I try to do good by everyone and do my best to avoid creating conflict, and I hate that this individual has such a negative attitude towards me. Impossible to ignore.

@CWOTUS I actually have a good-paying job now, but my student loan payments and other day-to-day financial responsibilities (rent, utilities, car payment, car insurance, groceries, gas, etc) consume most of my income, leaving little to no money for a proper savings account. She has no reason to feel jittery because I make sure that I take care of all my financial responsibilities before I do anything else. She’s unwilling to give me room to breathe and I don’t know how many more ways I can explain to her that I am trying my best to get out of this “deal” with her but that I literally have no other option than to wait until I’m able to refinance. I’ve sent her all my payment records since the start of the loan and, in any case, if I missed a payment, she would be notified immediately by the lender.

I guess what I really want to know is whether she can take any action against me at this point. I’m just so stressed out by this whole situation! This is not my modus operandi, being “at war” with someone.

Well, she willingly signed a legally binding contract. She can’t just “nope” out of it just because you two aren’t BFFs anymore.

I believe you have the upper hand.
You should let her know that, in as non-threatening a way as possible, just to back her off.

I would text her that from now on, I will mail you a copy of the payment receipt, which will show that I have made my payment on time. Other than that, unless you have something important to ASK me, I will ignore your texts as I find them rude and unnecessarily condescending. I have no intention of reneging on the loan, and I am grateful that you enabled me to get it, however, I am in no way intending to be the recipient of your malicious texts.