Should I try to save thid friendship, or cut it off?
What do you do when you don’t know anymore whether you want to keep up with someone or just completely cut contact with that person? ( I know I’ve made similar posts in the past but the question keeps coming back )
Situation: I’m a 17 year old guy and my bestfriend’s a girl…about half a year ago, she started dating some guy and I just feel “forgotten”. Right now, my brains telling me to move on and considerate cutting contact with her but another part of me tells me to stay considering the fact ( I think ) I am a little bit emotionally unstable right now and don’t want to make a decision I will regret later in my life.
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2 Answers
Thank you for being open to us and telling us your situation.
I have not read any previous questions from you.
It’s an excellent idea to seek ideas when we’re unstable and unsure. It helps to hear what others think.
My first thought is that it’s not necessary to cut off contact. Stop expecting any contact from her is what I suggest. Change your attitude. Be happy for your friend. Wish her well. Perhaps things will settle down, and she will contact you more often in the future.
I learned in a relationship that I always have 3 choices:
1. Want more than what the other person is giving, and be miserable.
2. Be happy with what the other person is giving when they give it.
3. End it.
I’m sure there are more options, but I realized those 3 during a difficult time. That realization has helped me a great deal. I’m much better at staying in a state of #2 now. I used to often be in #1, and I was usually miserable.
When in doubt do nothing.
I’d say just let it ride a little longer until you feel more clarity, given your emotional state of mind right now. Relationships come and go in life and often we outgrow others or people move in different directions. This is just the first, of many, potential relationships you might find yourself re-evaluating.
I dropped a friend I knew for 30 years a few years ago. The person was incapable of having an adult discussion about some of her behaviors that were pissing me off, time to go.
It is also often common for friends to neglect friends when they get into a new relationship. This is something that maturity usually helps but not always.
Have you tried talking to this girl about your feelings or are you just silently fuming about the situation?
The best thing would be to have an open discussion about how you’re feeling without making her feel guilty. If you tell her you miss hanging out and hope you guys can get together soon, to let you know when she will have some free time, and then, if weeks and weeks, months go by, well….there’s your answer, she just isn’t that into you anymore and probably time to move on.
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