Would you do what I want to do?

How good are you at maths, right now? Would you be able to get a job as a tutor with some kind of company? I believe you’d make a very good tutor (sending you new maths questions tomorrow :]), but you can’t be sure you like it until you’ve tried.

I hate that education is so very focused on reading and writing. I tutor a kid who is dyslexic, and it sucks that she won’t even be able to get through high school, most likely. If you do want to become a teacher, maybe there are programs for people who have a hard time with written language? Can you tell us more about what exactly you have trouble with? Have you ever been tested for dyslexia?

Have a look at this TED talk to feel better. It discusses why the idea of one single career can cause anxiety, and may make you feel more comfortable about pursuing interests instead of career ideas.

My main reaction is that any idea that you can’t write is bogus. You certainly can! You know all the arguments for staying in college but it sounds like you really don’t want to. How about taking a semester or a year off, doing something to support yourself and seeing whether you want to go back or not?

Have you explored all options for available help to assist you with processing information? Have you spoken to your doctor, or at least a college/university counsellor, about the struggles you’re having? That would be my first step. See what assistance is available to help you manage and process information. I know at my university we do have a lot of support services. We want people to succeed.

Next, you say you want to teach, and if you are sincere in that goal and you want to be more than a tutor, then you’ll need that degree. So giving up at this point isn’t going to achieve your ultimate goal and it’s always harder to go back after you throw in the towel.

In saying that, do you really want to be at university? If you really, really don’t and that desire to leave is stronger than your desire to stay and figure out how to get to where you want to be, then I think you’re on a hiding to nothing. My daughter did very badly at university. Not because she’s thick. She’s actually very intelligent and bright. She just didn’t want to be there. She’d chosen the wrong degree. However, she felt she should finish her degree. She felt she would let me down (I’m an academic) if she didn’t finish. So she failed quite a few courses and when I asked to see her grades, she freaked out. You know, what I really want for her is for her to be happy. I don’t care if she has a degree. If that’s not what she wants or something she sees as essential to her life right now, that’s fine. I just want her to have a happy, fulfilled life. I was more upset that she thought I’d be disappointed in her and she’d let me down. So she struggled on and felt terrible. That made me terribly upset. I’m pretty sure your parents are the same. I think you should talk to them about how you’re feeling and see what they suggest. I’m pretty sure they don’t want you to be unhappy.

I’m sorry this is so long @dxs. If I can help and you want to send me a private message, you know you can do that. However, my advice is don’t do anything rash. Get some advice about your options and definitely talk to your mum and dad. They love you. They’ll want to help you.

I’d ask my college advisor if I would be able to complete the remaining two intro classes by transferring credits from equivalent courses at a (cheaper) community college, and graduate by fulfilling those requirements that way. I’d also ask what the lime limit would be. It might make sense to take a quarter off for mental recovery before doing the last couple of classes, as you seem to be stressed out.

I would also see if your college enrollment includes some counseling services. Many do, and it sounds like you’re having a lot of stress and it could help to get some free (i.e. already paid for but not used) therapy/talk sessions.

It sounds like you did well at the core math classes, and just need to wrap things up. It would be highly inefficient to not get the degree out of angst at the end, having done all that good work. It’s worth the investment.

I’d say you have a lot of unspoken anger and frustration built up towards the experience of being a young person in our culture, from parents, the education system, and society, which is natural and you should express that and work out those feelings at in some other way, perhaps at some other time. I think it’s just surfacing now at the end, which makes sense psychologically but not practically. I do not believe that your upset and stress is really about doing the last two intro classes. It’s just a human thing to explode in irrational ways after having been through 10–20 years of subtle disrespect (supposedly for your own good – laugh) from parents and teachers. But that’s not really about your degree, and it will be worth it to complete the degree, and work out the issues later.

Intro classes are not that tough, and you just wrote quite well, so it’s not that you suck at writing. You don’t have to thoroughly read entire 150-page books that get assigned – you just need to understand them enough to do the required essays or tests.

Have you checked in on campus tudoring/help aides?
Also, check with professor or teaching assistants aides, it’s a great help partener.

@dxs First, I’m wondering exactly where you are in terms of your education. You say you have a 3.283 GPA – is that out of 4.0? If so, that’s an 82% average, which is very, very good. You say you have completed 65 credits, but not how many you need to complete for your program. I am guessing you are most of the way there, but I can’t know until you tell us.

My advice, given the information provided, would be to stick it out until you finish your degree. No one really “takes time off”. You have invested a lot of your own effort into the degree, and you have a lot working in your favour – particularly financially. You won’t have an opportunity like this again. Even if you don’t end up working in the field your degree is in, it will be a bargaining chip when looking for jobs.

Your story makes me think (only because I have been through this with so many other students) that perhaps you are running yourself down because of what you perceive to be recent failures – you’re feeling like you can’t do it, or that the odds against you are insurmountable. But the thing is, you can recover from even a serious dip in your GPA. It would be unfortunate if you threw away what you have accomplished to date – and it is a lot! – when you are closing in on a degree that will be a benefit to you in some form, even if it is not the way you initially envisioned it. In ten years, you might be kicking yourself pretty damned hard for not sucking it up and finishing when you had the chance.

If you are truly unhappy in your major, and want your education to lead to work in a field related to the degree you hold, consider switching to a different major. Talk to your department advisor, or the advisor in a department you might be happier in. They will be able to tell you which of your courses you can use for credit in a different program.

I think you’re about to “become” someone pretty successful that you aren’t sure you would respect. But you’d still be you, with all your need to examine and inquire and make your own decisions, after you finished this task. You can always laugh at it. “I tortured myself all the way through college because I had very high standards and I didn’t think I was going to come out of there completely trained – yet here I am doing work I find interesting, work I respect, though I had such serious doubts at the time. I was a smart, observant kid. I could see the flaws in the system. That’s a quality I’ve treasured and built on. By finishing school I’ve put myself into a position where those qualities are of use to the people I work with and for.
I hung in and I’m still me. That’s important. Being honest is the most important thing I have. It’s not the only thing I have – I have a lot to offer and I wanted to respect that. So I bore with a system that was the best I could get at the time. And since then I’ve learned to work with other systems that weren’t perfect but were useful and gave me tools I use the way I think they should be used. I have a lot of self-respect; always did. I respect the seriousness of my questioning and I respect my willingness to do stuff that scared me and made me mad. I’m a very very cool dude; always was; and I have the respect of susanc, a jelly I used to sort of know, and that’s very significant.” love, susanc

I agree with @dappled_leaves You are well into your college education and I truly think down the road you will regret not toughing it out. I would have meetings with your professors in the classes you feel most unhappy with and ask them how or what you can do to do better in the class and up your grades.

I struggled immensely my first 2 years of college, flunked out of the business college and switched to Communications and loved it. Perhaps you could switch from a math degree to a ED Teaching degree?

The bottom line about college is it will open employment opportunities you will not have without the diploma.

As a student the prospect of full time pay in a fast food setting may seem like a pile of money to you now, but once you face the real world expenses you will find yourself barely making it and working as hard if not harder than you are in school to just get by in life. You have to ask yourself without a college degree to move you down the path of being a math teacher….where do you go from here to create a life for yourself that gets you beyond a career in fast-food..

I’m so surprised that so many people took the time to read and respond to this! Thanks! From the words I’ve been exposed to here, I think I’m going to keep going with school. Which is surprising since I had pretty much completely convinced myself I was done. I just keep hearing people tell me that it’s worth it to stay in. I wish I could see what those other three responses were, maybe they would have been useful as well.

@susanc Great advice. I love how you worded this. And I’m glad I have your respect. I think the problem was just that I felt like it would make me feel better to not buy into the whole thing. I feel like I would be more real with myself by doing so. I hate the idea of taking the easier, more comfortable path when I take issue with it. I guess I’ll just stick with it, though, and keep that mentality you suggested. The degree could be useful to help myself pursue things I want to (i.e. things I find worth value) in the future.
@Cruiser I love the math part. It’s the non-math classes that I struggle with. CS and Physics are required for the major, and I’ll have to take one more CS course: discrete math. Money really isn’t that important of a commodity to me. Yeah I know I need it but I don’t lust it. The problem is, the fast food income won’t really grow, and although I’ll make it, it will be pretty close and it’ll limit a lot of what I can do.
@dappled_leaves 3.283 out or 4. 120 credits to graduate. I’ll be about 3/5 of the way there by the end of this semester. Again, I’m fine with math. I love it. It’s the other classes I’m having problems with. I wish I could prove to you that it isn’t just because I’m doing bad this semester. Me struggling only augmented the problem and made it easier and more appealing for me to just ditch it all. I seriously considered it when I had my 3.66 GPA as well.
@Earthbound_Misfit That’s true. I am known to do spontaneous things, but I do make sure I have good judgment. The problem is I think every once in a while my judgment is clouded by things I have strong emotions towards. It’s just books that I really don’t seem to take in much. I prefer someone explaining it to me, even if it’s a video. I really don’t think I’m going to talk to my parents about anything. Or the rest of my family. I’m not close to them emotionally, unfortunately. Also, they tend to take things the wrong way and jump to conclusions on things, so I just don’t think they’d be of help to me. I think it’s best if from their view they see it as me never even having these thoughts. The most they know is that I’m struggling this semester.
@msh I go to the Physics tutors all the time. We know each other by name and I say hi to them in the halls. I can’t go to the CS TAs since I don’t have a laptop.
@Zaku Thanks for the advice. I could take the CS class at another school—that’s such a great idea. The same jerk that’s teaching CS now is teaching it in the Spring, so I could look to another school for that class. + @janbb You don’t know my writing. I should have failed both of my English 101 classes freshman year, but I was lucky enough to have “nice” professors who gave me the lowest passing grade instead. Okay, maybe I know how to form complete sentences and where to put commas, but that’s just grammar. I’m talking more about all that stuff about thesis statements, concluding paragraphs, and avoiding the passive voice. It just feels all fake. I don’t even feel completely like myself when I write here on Fluther because it’s nothing like how I’d express this if I were speaking to you. Why do they want me to go on and on for 5 pages about something I can explain in less than two? Why is it about the page length and not the content? Anyways, it’s that kind of stuff that I struggle with.
@longgone Glad to know you think I’d make a good tutor! I’ve done it. I’ve tutored 3rd graders, middle schoolers, high schoolers, college students, and 30-something year olds. I loved tutoring every group (liked high school and beyond best). The problem is I can’t find a way to get myself out there. I don’t know many people, I don’t do social media, and I don’t really want to work for an organization. I did put up some fliers in the summer, but I got no responses. I heard there are some teaching programs that are like apprenticeships, and less bookwork. I’ve thought about those instead of the class route. I’m definitely not dyslexic (but damn, that word trips me up when I type it). I’ll try to remember to look at the ted talk on Monday. I’ve spent long enough writing all this and I want to go home now, but I am expecting that math problem from you sometime soon.
Well, a lot of my responses seemed superfluous and beside the point, but if it helps you to think of something else, then I’m definitely willing to hear! Thanks again, Jellies. It’s a good thing I at least have Fluther to look to for advice.

@dxs All good and I respect your choice to do what is best for you in your situation. You admit the difference a min wage job vs a career in education will afford you….just do me one small favor…when you find yourself wanting for more than what your fast-food income provides for you, don’t be one of those that screams for the 1%‘rs to cough up more in taxes to support the welfare class or a $15.00/hr minimum wage when you had this chance to grab the brass ring that a college education may have afforded you.

@dxs Nice goin, and had your decision been otherwise, you would still deserve the applause, because your decision would be arrived at through careful well considered thought. You have a good compass, as well as the rare sense to suspect readings that don’t “ring true”. The world is yours.

@stanleybmanly “had your decision been otherwise, you would still deserve the applause, because your decision would be arrived at through careful well considered thought.”

Well said.

@Zaku You don’t know my writing. I should have failed both of my English 101 classes freshman year, but I was lucky enough to have “nice” professors who gave me the lowest passing grade instead. Okay, maybe I know how to form complete sentences and where to put commas, but that’s just grammar.

Well those are very important and you seem to have those mastered, whereas many people pass college English courses with worse core skills.

I’m talking more about all that stuff about thesis statements, concluding paragraphs, and avoiding the passive voice. It just feels all fake. I don’t even feel completely like myself when I write here on Fluther because it’s nothing like how I’d express this if I were speaking to you. Why do they want me to go on and on for 5 pages about something I can explain in less than two? Why is it about the page length and not the content? Anyways, it’s that kind of stuff that I struggle with.

There are a wide variety of English teachers. Many good students struggle with analytical essays, probably because of weird teaching models and some teachers who were also confused. It’s very common for people to have more or less perfect communication skills, yet become incoherent when asked to write an essay, often (I think) because they’ve received a lot of weird mixed messages from various teachers over the years about what it’s supposed to be like.

Writing analytical essays for English classes can, after years of doing do, lead to some very useful writing and communication skills. But it can seem like torture before that point. The idea of an intro English class is probably partly to give you some seeds of information of how to write formally. I would say, however, from your writing just here on this question, that you already have fairly developed writing skills – just with a gap or block about writing essays for classes, which isn’t unusual.

If help is available, or even if there isn’t, it may also make lots of sense to write the two-paragraph version that makes sense to you, and then translate or extend and embelish it out to the required format.

I think that unless you refuse to do it, you should be able to survive an intro to education class, especially if you take it in a later semester when you won’t have so many other classes conflicting for your time and attention. Then you can graduate and forget all about it. After graduation, all assignments and grades can become distant memories, and you can cherish their irrelevance, and how no on can ever compel you to do it again. ;-)

(BTW on Fluther, I imagine could probably write however you talk and be well-received.)

@Cruiser huh?
@stanleybmanly thanks!