Appropriate pick up time for kids after school?

Wow, that sucks. There’s not a school bus route that takes you within walking distance of home?

I mean, back in the day I would have loved it, as the school library stayed open until 5 for tutoring, and they had unlimited internet, whereas our internet service at home only gave me 10 hours a month, and that was on a 56K modem. (oh, memories…)

Alternately, are there any after-school clubs or activities you might take part in?

Can you stay in the library for an hour and do homework? One day I stayed until 10pm and played Civilization one in the computer lab. In university I stayed in the computer lab overnight and did homework til breakfast.

Gosh, is there anyone in the school that lives close to you that you could catch a ride with? I’m trying to figure out how your school could be 45 minutes away from home.

Why aren’t you riding a school bus home?

Also, can your parents pick you up earlier and just “won’t,” to use your word, or are they both working and unable to take an hour and a half off in the middle of the day?

Why don’t they pick you up? Do they work? Have only one vehicle and it’s in use until then?

Can you get the bus home?

I need a bit more information to understand this situation.

Being a senior you should be able to bum a ride with another senior or even a junior who is on your way home, unless….your foster parents don’t want you home alone then you are pretty much stuck. Have you asked them if they could come sooner or help you make arrangements to help you get out of school sooner.

I am thinking they are ill equipped at the moment to be foster parents. It would appear on the surface they are onl in it for the money. If they are going to take on the duty of being foster parents, then they need to step up and make adjustment if not sacrifices. I wonder if you were their blood child and not a ward of the state if they would do it the same?

The wait time is not at all wrong or unusual. If the school has an after school program or two, attend. Attend something.
The time is a perfect opportunity to do any schoolwork you might need to do.
I would like to know more about your situation. If you want to PM me, feel free to do so. I have several questions, and some might be sensitive for you.

Please look for one of your teachers or another who stays late in order to get their work finished. Do NOT stay by yourself! Please listen.
Go to a place where school personnel are visible.
You need to ask whether you may stay with them- a room, office, library, or where ever, until a departure time arrives. Also, please let them know you’re there daily when you arrive, and then agknowledge them when you leave, makes for a better set up. And it is safer for you.
It may suck to wait, but it provides a great place for you to work on homework, semester projects, resume for college apps., resume if entering work field.
Read a book. Create artwork for a portfolio. Work on extra credit projects.
If not blocked at school, get on the Internet and find a site that you are interested in.
Do not talk on the phone at first. Until you get the lay of the land, please have a care about it. Also have a care how loud music/headphones are played. At times, it is louder than you realize.
You would be stunned at some things other students need to go through to arrive and complete their school days. Some of whom I worked with were sleeping in their broken down cars. I’m glad that you don’t have an after school job to hustle to, extra stress added on to your time table.
Do not sit someplace alone.
If the building is closed down and everyone leaves- you need to go find a place to go daily to wait for your ride. A public place with people. No, you don’t have to socialize with all. Just go about getting a head start on your work.
The current situation isn’t how you wish it to be. I’m sorry that it feels bad right now. You are at the stage of taking the first steps into adulthood, do well for the situation. You’ll be fine.

I think the answer is to increase the length of the school day.

Work days are 8 to 5.

School days should be the same.

We no longer live in the Happy Days fantasy land where Howard goes of to work while Marion stays home to care for the house and kids.

From my experience school personnel is gone by 4 pm for jr high and high school. The only personnel left are coaches for sports practices.

All the high schools I know of have after school programs which last until five, or even later.
This is why I think we need more information. Some jellies seem to be picturing a dark building with some distant sounds of a janitor.
We are talking about high school.
@FeelTheBern , we do need more info here to be of much help.

Do you have your Driver’s License?
Would you be able to offer to drive the reverse route to pick the others up?

I’m guessing the OP does not go to a school in her district, but rather stayed in a school she had been attending before going to this particular foster home. Possibly, the foster parents go out of their way, 45 minutes, to let her remain in this school. We don’t know all the details. If that is the case there isn’t a school bus home.

Having to stay after every day does sound like a drag, but if it were me I would watch a TV show if I had a smart phone, or Fluther, do my homework, put my head down and rest, join an after school club, or help a teacher.

Maybe some days you can go home with a friend and your foster parents can pick you up there?

Is it possible your parents are working and they can’t get to you sooner?
You can go to the library and do your homework. That quiet time can be an incredible gift.

If you are a foster child, there is an agency supervising your case. There is a caseworker and/or a supervisor supervising your case. You have the right to bring this up to them. If they are unaware, they can’t find a solution.

@Hypocrisy_Central I think your answer was unkind and of no help at all. Totally unChristian-like of you.

@Dutchess_III: In the field I work in, I find that there are many foster parents who are in it for the money. Then they sit back and don’t take the kids to the doctors, etc., and they try to push it on to the caseworker. Trust me, I know, @Hypocrisy_Central is right.

To make that assumption about this particular set of foster parents based on this one question, without knowing any details is so wrong.

It could be that they discussed this before hand. It could be that the kid insisted on going to this school, and the parents said, “OK. Have it your way. But we won’t be able to pick you up until this time, because we work.” An hour and a half isn’t really that much time to kill.

For all you, or anyone knows, this set of parents DO care, and throwing that assumption out, that they don’t, could cause unnecessary friction on top of an already difficult situation.

Besides, don’t you think the parents would prefer to have a school closer to home? I mean, who wants a 3 hour commute every day to get a kid to and from school?

@Dutchess_III: Yes, but it’s a possibility. We’re looking at possibilities.

Being a foster kid is hard enough, but to be told by total strangers, with all certainty, that his foster parents just don’t care about him is just a horrible thing to do. You, of all people, should know that @jca.

And so what if it’s a possibility. Does it even need to be mentioned? If they don’t care then the kid knows it. What’s the point of even bringing it up? How, exactly, does that help him in this situation?

I didn’t bring it up. I told him to contact the caseworker. However, when someone else brought it up (@hypo), I’m not going to deny that what Hypo is saying is not possible.

I thought my suggestion was very good and the most realistic. If there’s a problem, it needs to be brought to the attention of the caseworker.

I’m not saying it’s not possible. I just don’t see any benefit to telling him that. I don’t see how it contributes, in any way, to solving his problem…a problem he may have actually set up himself.

From what one little piece of information we actually have, I’d say they’re busting their asses getting him to that particular school. They’re having to build THREE HOURS into every single day to get him there and back. If they’re working that would just be an unbelievable juggling act.

The way I figure it, it’s a lot more logical to assume that they DO care. If they didn’t they’d just say, “I don’t give a rats ass what school you want to go to. You’re going to the nearest one, and you can just walk home because that is what is convenient for us.”

Both of you are coming off like playground bullies, making fun of the foster kid.

@Dutchess_III That was my point too about the foster parents possibly being very accommodating, or as much as possible. We don’t know the whole story.

I do think @jca made a good suggestion in terms of encouraging the OP to contact her case worker if she needs any help. Just to make sure she realizes she can do that. Sometimes when we are young we don’t realize all that is available to us.

I agree @JLeslie. I wish s/he would get back here and give us the details we need to understand the whole picture.

^They are probably in school right now.

I’m pretty sure that nowadays kids can access the internet where ever they’re at. Anyway, we’ve been going round on this for 2 days.

I guess the first question we should have asked is if both his foster parents work.

What their schedule is would be the determining factor as to whether or not the waiting period is justified.

Did I make fun of anyone?

@rojo He hasn’t answered any questions. He’s here! First question, are you male or female? :D

@jca the way I saw it, it went kind of like this: “My parent’s won’t pick me up from school on time. It’s a 45 minute drive.”
You and Hippy, “They aren’t picking you up on time because they don’t like you. So there.”

Sorry for the wait. To clarify, my foster mother does not work. But she does have an eleven year old and a four year old in their school district. My foster father does have a job, his work days usually end at 4:30. My school programs usually end at 4:30, and since I’m not part of any clubs (except GSA, which only meets twice a month) or teams that began at the beginning of the year, they usually ask me to leave since I don’t have adult supervision. And once I step out of the doors, they lock. I can’t get back in. And my foster parents know this. I don’t have a phone, and once the office workers leave at 3:30, I don’t have any sort of communication with them.

The only reason I do go to this school still is because my case worker thought it would be best, they get reimbursed for mileage every week. They aren’t too fond of my sibling and I, they’ve made clear that they only do it for the money.
My caseworker knows, and she doesn’t see a problem with it. That’s why I wanted to see what you all had to say since we are all a variety of opinions.

I’m sorry if I didn’t clarify everything needed.

I am more confused than ever. Please respond to my PM. Your past activity here paints a much different picture.

“they get reimbursed for mileage every week. They aren’t too fond of my sibling and I, they’ve made clear that they only do it for the money. ”

I fear you may have answered your own question. I am sorry you find yourself in such circumstance.

You might consider looking into what other clubs/organizations are available after school or perhaps volunteering to help out in the office until picked up.

Thanks, you guys.

Request a change in school district.

@Dutchess_III
I sadly can’t. I’ve offered and my caseworker rejects the idea.

If this is a rural area, options will be quite slim.
Some states have placement requirements with proximity to the biological home. Is there any chance you have a friend who you can go home with nearby? I thought that was a good idea… scanning, who was it first suggested that?
Anyway, if you could do that, it seems things would be quite a lot better.
Hard to believe there are schools which still lock the doors so early, but you say so, so I believe you. It must be a very small school.

@Here2_4 The school doors are locked all day with the exception of 7 to 8 am for arriving kids.
And I’m legally not aloud to go to a friend’s house with them doing a background check on the whole family. And I already know that won’t go through sadly (my friend’s dad is a felon).

But thank you.

@FeelTheBern Sounds like a tough situation. I think @jca might have a good suggestion since she works in the system, but probably not in the same location as you so things vary.

I can’t for the life of me figure out why the social worker would be against you transferring schools if you are willing to do it. We are coming up on winter break, it would be a good time to switch if they would allow you.

I’ve thought of being a foster parent many times and your story has revived my interest. Makes me want to help.

That doesn’t make any sense. Your foster parents should have some say in it. What is the reason your case worker wants you to go to THAT school?

Also, how long have you been with this family?

@Dutchess_III: I did not say the parents are not picking up the OP because they don’t like him. I said “If you are a foster child, there is an agency supervising your case. There is a caseworker and/or a supervisor supervising your case. You have the right to bring this up to them. If they are unaware, they can’t find a solution.” However, I did say that Hypo’s scenario is a possibility, and it is. There’s no making fun of anyone there.

Then @rojo confirms it when he pointed out that the OP wrote: “they get reimbursed for mileage every week. They aren’t too fond of my sibling and I, they’ve made clear that they only do it for the money. ”

As far as the foster parents having some say in what school the OP goes to, they really don’t. It’s not up to them. It’s up to the agency. It might be a tax issue. It might be because the Judge specified that the child goes to that school. If it’s a foster case, there’s a judge involved. It might be because the child is due to return to the bio family soon and therefore, changing schools would not be beneficial. If it’s not convenient for the foster family, the child will go to a new foster family.

And, if the OP is a senior (as stated in the details) they may be about to age out of the system, another reason a judge might not want them to change schools.

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this @FeelTheBern. It seems incredibly irresponsible for your foster care caseworker to be insisting you go to a school so far away from where you’re living when it means you are then left unsupervised and without anywhere to stay for getting on for two hours each day. What if you were sick, had an accident, got into trouble? Can you talk to your guidance officer at school about the situation? If there are regular sporting activities going on, could you sit and watch? At least then you would be safe.

@jca, does this seem appropriate to you? If the caseworker won’t listen and take any action, is there another course of action @FeelTheBern can take? Someone mentioned legal obligations, but surely if a judge knew this child was sitting around unsupervised for hours each week they’d realise this isn’t appropriate.

@Dutchess_III, I don’t think it’s appropriate to ‘shoot the messenger’. The scenario @Hypocrisy_Central painted is realistic and in this case, it appears he was spot on. It was unfair of you to bring his religion into this discussion. He provided an answer to the question asked. It’s not his responsibility to wrap that answer in cotton wool because it might not be palatable to either the OP or other participants. He gave his answer according to his understanding.

HC ” It would appear on the surface they are onl in it for the money…I wonder if you were their blood child and not a ward of the state if they would do it the same?

jca ”… @Hypocrisy_Central is right.”

The only reason someone would do that for that reason is if they didn’t like the kid.

@Earthbound_Misfit I’m not saying it’s not a possibility. I’m saying, what is the point of even bringing it up? To me, it was a hurtful comment that was said for no reason. No. Reason.

Yeah, we’re just going around here. I agree with @rojo. Make your complaints be knows, but in the meantime, just make the best of it by helping out at school. Find something useful to do.

There’s good reason to bring it up because it’s a possibility. I have done this work for a living and not all foster parents are in it because they want to do right by the world. If they wanted to do right by the world, maybe they’d forego the money. They get paid for mileage when they drive the kid somewhere, they get paid for food stamps, they get paid for diapers, they get paid for clothes, they get paid more when the child is special ed, and they get toys at the holidays and all other kinds of funds. That’s a reality and it might be a cold hard pill to swallow but it is reality.

The reason people might do such a thing is (one reason) is because they need the money but it’s not the most convenient for them, so they try to make it work and figure they’ll just keep the kid waiting a few hours after school.

If I were the OP, I’d bring it up to the supervisor or even write a letter to the judge.

^ @Dutchess_III, that’s why it’s important to bring it up. Because it might, and it it sounds like is, a distinct possibility. And if it is the truth, then this young person can’t really rely on those people to help.

@FeelTheBern, do you feel you can follow @jca‘s advice and contact your supervisor or write to the judge? If you go down this track, you need to get all your facts documented. Write down when you finish school each day. What time you’re picked up. Whether you had access to the school grounds. Where you had to wait to be picked up. Write down what you said to your caseworker, your foster carers about the situation, and what their reactions were. It sounds like you have a lot of time to do this at least!

How old is your sibling and where are they during this time? Do they go to the same school and are they waiting with you? Also (sorry for the 20 questions), how old is your sibling.

Why couldn’t they just say, “Write a letter to your caseworker or judge.”? I just think it was needlessly mean to reiterate what the kid already knows.

And she isn’t waiting at the school for “hours,” @jca. It’s about an hour and a half, and she can find something productive to do with that time.

@Dutchess_III, she’s unsupervised for an hour and a half a day. That’s 7.5 hours a week. What if there’s some paedo in the area, who notices her sitting there every day, on her own, unsupervised? What if she’s abducted? What if she simply falls ill while nobody is taking any notice of her? Foster care, as far as I understood it, was supposed to provide substitute parenting. I wouldn’t leave my children unsupervised at school for 7.5 hours a week.

And had he just said ‘write a letter to your casework or judge’ I’m pretty sure some of us would say, why would the child do that? They should speak to their immediate caseworker or foster parents. The context based on @Hypocrisy_Central‘s accurate assessment is required to reach the conclusion that taking such action is necessary.

Not all foster parents are wonderful.

She’s almost 18 years old, not 8, @Earthbound_Misfit. It’s just the way it is, and it’s the case worker’s responsibility.

I know not all foster parents are wonderful. But not all of them are hateful and evil, either.

I think boredom and unpleasant weather conditions are the biggest issue.

@Dutchess_III, if she needs to be in foster care, then there is a responsibility to ensure her care is supervised. It isn’t for more than 7.5 hours a week. Women can be abducted at 18. I wouldn’t want my 18-year-old daughter in this situation. There must be some reason she’s in foster care. We don’t know why that is. She could have a parent out there who could cause her harm. She could be vulnerable in a million ways.

And you can’t have it both ways. On one hand at 18 she’s not so vulnerable that she can’t be left on her own, unsupervised for more than 7.5 hours a week. However, she is too vulnerable to hear the truth that her foster parents may not have her best interests at heart and might only be doing this work for the money. I think it’s insulting to her to avoid discussing her situation in a realistic, honest way. She’s living this experience. She knows whether that’s true or not. If it wasn’t, she’s obviously able to communicate the idea that they’re doing a fabulous job and are wonderful people. Instead, she’s here asking for REAL advice. Her reality is her foster parents may not (are not) doing their best for her.

Apparently her caseworker doesn’t think so. Her caseworker assigned her to that school for whatever reason. That why they all have to deal with that awful commute. I am sure her foster parents don’t like it either, and would choose a school closer to home but they aren’t allowed to. But, that’s the system for you.

@Dutchess_III, as @FeelTheBern and @jca have explained, the foster carers get more money if she goes to that school. They get reimbursed for their mileage. “The only reason I do go to this school still is because my case worker thought it would be best, they get reimbursed for mileage every week. They aren’t too fond of my sibling and I, they’ve made clear that they only do it for the money.” (FeelTheBern). “They get paid for mileage when they drive the kid somewhere.” (jca).

Hardly the best reason for sending a kid to a school. Why the caseworker is going along with this, I have no idea, but leaving the kid on the street for hours is not in her best interests. Perhaps the caseworker can’t (there isn’t anyone else available) or is too lazy to find an alternative foster family. Perhaps she knows the foster carers. Nonetheless, @FeelTheBern has every right to be upset about being left on the street for hours every week. And she has every right to seek additional support and help from the judge or the caseworker’s supervisor. Perhaps there’s another reason that school has been chosen, but it would seem nobody has explained this to @FeelTheBern and it can’t be the best and only option.

Right now, my sympathy lies with the child and not her foster parents or her caseworker.

I’m not arguing with you on any of your points. I agree with you. However, apparently the state just doesn’t care that she’s not being picked up until an hour after school, and that the foster parents have to drive 15 hours a week to get her there and back.

I’m saying that it is what it is. She does need to work on changing it, but until it happens, she can find something productive and useful to do while she waits.

She leaves the school at 3:20, the doors of the school are locked at 3:30, and (she stated) that the foster parents don’t come until 5:00 or after. To me, that’s not acceptable. Maybe the caseworker is too lazy to do paperwork for the child to change schools. Maybe the foster parents are not being honest with the caseworker about the time they pick the OP up. Maybe there’s another reason. If I were the OP I would write a letter to the Judge and cc the caseworker’s supervisor. It’s actually a good lesson in @FeelTheBern‘s learning to advocate for herself.

The foster parents apparently do like the commute, @Dutchess_III, because they told the OP they’re in it for the mileage.

In regards to “Apparently her caseworker doesn’t think so. Her caseworker assigned her to that school for whatever reason. That why they all have to deal with that awful commute. I am sure her foster parents don’t like it either, and would choose a school closer to home but they aren’t allowed to. But, that’s the system for you.” Who the f cares what the caseworker thinks? That’s why there’s a supervisor and that’s why there’s a judge.

So, is she just waiting outside the school doors? Is that right? I have no problem with her being unsupervised for a couple of hours, she is in her teens, but I do if she is standing outside an empty school in an empty parking lot. Is there no restaurant within walking distance? Nothing? No way to grab a ride to the mall or McDonald’s nearby for an hour?

I am with these guys. You need to involve a judge or a supervisor.

When I was in high school there was something going on every evening after school. Can she sit in on ball practices and stuff?

If she is depending solely, or primarily on school for internet access, we may not hear from her again for two or three days.
She is only stuck outside the school for about half an hour. See her comments above. She leaves the school at about 430, and gets picked up about five.

How is it that not one teacher or school administrator or school psychologist has not helped to address this issue? They see her at the school right?

Maybe it is time to consider homeschooling for the last few months.

@RedDeerGuy1 you haven’t been listening, have you.

@Dutchess_III Yes you're right. I am just answering the question from scratch. I can’t read very well.

She’s in foster care. She says that her foster parents don’t really care for her or her sibling. The consensus is that they make a little bit of money by commuting all of those miles every day, though I wouldn’t think whatever small profit they make would be worth the hassle. Anyway, they won’t home school her, and apparently are unable to get her into a school closer to their home. The case worker assigned that school to her and is aware of the problem but chooses not to do anything about it.

I hope she can get it fixed. She sounds like she has a level head on her shoulders. I hope she stays around.

A lot can be learned by looking at her question answer history. This girl is up against a lot, but she seems strong and determined.
I think she is a lovely addition to the Fluther. I am rooting for her.

I agree @Here2_4. She’s got a heck of a lot of supportive people to pat her on the back and give her virtual hugs. Not perfect, but better than nothing.

You going to stay @FeelTheBern? We want you to. We want to know what college you apply to and stuff!

@FeelTheBern Yeah, definitely stay. We are all rooting for you.

I am not seeing where @FeelTheBern indicated she is considering leaving Fluther.

@Dutchess_III I think your answer was unkind and of no help at all. Totally unChristian-like of you.
That seems to be a major problem; no one wants to gut truth. Based on what was said, to me it could be very plausible, how many people do you know would treat their own flesh and blood child in that manner?

To make that assumption about this particular set of foster parents based on this one question, without knowing any details is so wrong.
If there were more details to it, the OP did not add it. I could think of dozens of reasons as to why it is done.

I just don’t see any benefit to telling him that. I don’t see how it contributes, in any way, to solving his problem…a problem he may have actually set up himself.
Without all of the details, why would anyone even bother trying to answer. If it wasn’t said that a car was available and she had a license, or friends she could carpool with, or a jet pack she could fly to school with, those things are not in play, so why even try to tackle it from that perspective when you do not know if it is even a position t look at.

@Earthbound_Misfit I don’t think it’s appropriate to ‘shoot the messenger’. The scenario @Hypocrisy_Centralpainted is realistic and in this case, it appears he was spot on. It was unfair of you to bring his religion into this discussion.
Thank you, it is possibly a reason why they are not doing much. Had the question been ”What can I do about being left at school an hour and a half before I am picked up?” there would have been a different answer. I am just saying, if that is the school that the OP has to go to, the foster parents should realize they cannot meet that obligation and say to the State, they have to choose a better family for the needs if the OP, not just have her sit there because there is nothing that can be done or it is convenient for them, and keep cashing the checks.

Update: First of all, thank you, thank you all. And I’m sorry for all the misunderstandings.. I met with my GAL today, told her everything that’s happened and I don’t know if it was in my favor or against.. But hopefully I’ll find out soon. Bless y’all.

Thanks for the update. You don’t need to apologize to us. It’s very common on Fluther for us to ask more details from the OP and fight amongst ourselves.

I never fight.

Yes, please keep us updated.

Update: I’m offically out of the fostercare system, and back in my mother’s care. The foster parents have been put on investigation for multiple things. You guys helped me out quite a bit, so thank you.

Thanks for the update @FeelTheBern ! Good to hear that things are improving for you.

Yay! Say hi to mom from us!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING to you and your reunited family.

That’s great @FeelTheBern. So your activity has not just helped you and your family, but any other young people who end up in foster care and could be sent to those parents.

I hope whatever put you in foster care is now resolved and you’re settled and happy back with your mum. Keep in touch with us. We’d love to hear how you’re going.

The foster parents have been put on investigation for multiple things.
Vindication, the dish that is served so gooey sweet it makes your teeth hurt. One of these days people will recognize…..bygones

Are you glad to be back with your mother?

@Dutchess_III I’m more than thrilled to be back with her.

I am glad. Does this solve the school problem?

Happy Thanksgiving!

It does! And Happy Holidays to you too!

@FeelTheBern: Did you complain to someone or is it a coincidence that the foster parents got in trouble around the same time you had the issue?

@jca They were put on investigation for numerous things, and my complaints added on.

Yay! Christmas will be super cool!