Is giving candy as a reward the best way to teach a child to write?

Maybe not the best way, but if it, as a reward system, appropriately incentivizes a child to apply themself to the learning project, I don’t see that it’s a bad thing.

There is no absolute or right answer, it’s really about what works, as long as physical or emotional abuse is not involved.

Unless training a dog I do not believe in giving food or candy as a reward. I would give something applicable like crayons: one or two colors at a time or a small paper notebook.
Too many people have either been trained or have trained themselves to use food as a reward. It does not turn out well.
Ideally reaching the goal should be the reward in and of itself. But that is the ideal and not often attained.

Ideally I’d be 6’ 1” and have a body like David.

I don’t know anything about kids, but I would think sincere appreciation for their accomplishments would be a better reward for them. There is no way of telling where candy rewards could lead. I don’t reward my dogs with tidbits, ever. They are not trick dogs, they are workers. A pat, a hug, a word of praise—sometimes I’ll even get down and horse around with them (I hear Barbara Woodhouse rolling in her grave)—and they learn fast. They will also do anything for me. There is nothing more motivating than love and affection.

@LuckyGuy is absolutely correct. Rewards are nice, though doing it like training seals is bad. Don’t reward for every single thing. Don’t use food. Never ever use candy.
Ideal behavior would come from a point system. Use a chart, or sticker book. Give stickers for achievements, and also attempts which were very trying. When they fill a page, or a bar, they can have something simple, like a bottle of bubble goop. Or, they can wait until they have filled more pages or bars, to get something bigger, like a doll, or a Tonka truck.
The only way I would ever involve food as a reward would be say, they fill an entire book, so they get their prize, plus dinner will be at Charles Cheese… or some favorite place.

we used to have to call it ‘Charles Fromage’ for code

I give specially designed achievement cards with my child’s name on them for well laid out, achievable goals. Once those cards are collected, they are redeemable for cash or games. My child is much older, so he is able to work within a one month time period, but for a 4 year old, it should be more immediate. Praising anything good they do, even if it takes them 10 attempts of them not listening to you, if they do it the 11th time you ask, you praise them like crazy.

Any fun thing the child is into, like listening to their favorite song three times in a row, face painting, trading cards or figurines…. but not food. Not if it is an every-day training task you are trying to get them to do.

And sometimes “sincere appreciation” doesn’t work. And @LuckyGuy, while I understand that the crayons may have worked for your kids, there are lots of kids that need an immediate, pleasant reward. I’m not advocating stuffing your child full of unhealthy treats, but sometimes candy gets good results. And sometimes time with a computer game does. And sometimes the promise of a snow fort does. And sometimes a crayon does.
Find what works. Never say never.

I also don’t think it is a good idea to train kids with food, like @LuckyGuy said. Could lead to a number of issues, including a bad relationship with food and health problems later on.

Maybe receiving some fun stickers or being able to go pick out a new toy once they learn to write would be a better idea. That’s what my parents did for potty training my sisters and I haha.

It’s not the best way, but also no real harm should come of it. Kids like sweets/candy, let them be kids for goodness sake.

No, it’s not the best way. It’s a way.

The best way is to use a method which meets the child where they are rather than where they’re “supposed to be”.

And for a child having problems with fine motor skills this means practicing at a much larger size than will normally be required in everyday use to begin with. This way they experience success more easily since larger writing requires a lesser degree of fine motor coordination.

(BTW: in the early years, generally speaking, boys lag approx. six months behind girls in overall maturity level. Fine motor coordination accompanies greater maturity so it’s no big surprise that little boys have more problems mastering handwriting than girls of the same age.)

When I was teaching handwriting, whichever kids were having the greatest difficulty were using worksheets with larger line spacing until they mastered basic letter formation. Then they were transitioned gradually to the conventional smaller line spacing.

The more that the child has the opportunity to succeed, the better will be his sense of mastery and self esteem which is a far more lasting reward than candy.

Figure out a way to give the child practice with larger letter and line sizes. This is critical for a child having fine motor skills difficulty.

The “Handwriting Without Tears” website has some helpful info. One interesting thing I noticed is that there is a new ipad app designed specifically for handwriting practice. If it is flexible about sizing, it could prove to be quite helpful but I was unable to determine this just from the pic and brief mention.

BTW: I’m assuming that you are NOT referring to cursive handwriting. If you are, that would change my answer considerably. Let me know.

www.hwtears.com

I know this activity is not very popular on this site. but….
When my kids were about 8, we let them shoot bb guns at cans. I taught them basic safety and how to aim and then let them go at it. When they hit the can it would make a satisfying “plink” sound. The reward was the sound. They would pump that gun hundreds of times getting plenty of arm and chest exercise. They also had to learn to hold it and their bodies steady while controlling their breathing. They learned control.
“Plink!” No other reward was ever needed.

It looked like this but had a cheaper plastic stock: Daisy Model 105

Isn’t 4 a bit young to be taught how to write? Can the kid read yet? Seems to me that you should be taught reading first. As an accompaniment, it might help to write large single letters as a way of becoming more familiar with them. Once reading is mastered, writing should be its own reward. If the kid can already do some reading, I still don’t see any reason to rush into writing. Can’t this wait for another year to allow for better development of motor skills?

Kindergarten actually has entrance requirements. It varies, but one thing they must be able to do is write their name.

Best thing for a 4 year old is to practice colouring in. Give her pages to colour in of things she likes and she can practice writing her name on the bottom so you can hang it on the fridge.

This child cannot read yet. He is trying to learn to print. He can’t identify letters yet.

I agree with the others that the candy is not the “best” way. Getting excited with them when they do well works wonders. Kids will work harder for approval and applause and achievement than for anything else.

I did my student teaching in a 3rd grand classroom. Eventually I was turned lose to run the class and make my own lesson plans.
A couple of lessons stand out it my mind. One was a story writing lesson. This one kid, who actually had some learning issues, got so excited about the story he was writing he’d stay in at recess, and work and work on it from home. I don’t even remember how I motivated him, but I know it wasn’t any kind of physical reward. It was probably my own excitement about writing, and “drawing pictures with words. Anyway, this kid just took off. The regular teacher was AMAZED. That kid normally couldn’t / wouldn’t write an entire sentence, but here he handed me about 15 hand written pages of a story. I made it a point to read every single word of it, in front of him, and the whole class while they were on their own assignment, reading or something. I could see him peeking up at me every so often to guage my reaction. I had a smile planted on my face.
I read it more than once. The teacher and I just cracked up because it so didn’t make any sense in so many places, but it was funny. And he was SO PROUD of himself and we were SO proud of him!

The next thing was math. I prefer to make lessons exciting and interesting, but math is just one of those things that is learned best by simple memorization and practice.
I created a timed quiz thing. I made up the equations. I had about 4 different levels to addressed the lowest and the highest abilities, and they had to race the clock. They got so excited about it that, again, several kids stayed in at recess to do them! That one kid included. His bunch of equations were easier than most of the rest of the classroom, and the smartest kid in the class got a bunch of harder equations, but neither of them knew I was custom making those work sheets.

The disappointment when the clock beat them was so sad….but the pride when they finally beat it was just….you’d get burned standing too close to them!

Again, the regular teacher was just floored, didn’t know how I did it. I guess that’s when I learned I have a gift, maybe.

ANYWAY ^^^ TLDNR. I have a suggestion~ try associating the letter shapes with something in the real world. IDK, like… the L can be like a corner of a room. And O, can be like an orange or something. The letter B can be, like…a butterfly, with a B on each side of a straight line for the wings. See, he’ll be drawing butterflies, not B’s. He can color in the wings. Then together make up stories associated with those things. “The butterfly banged his boot on the banjo.” The more fun you can make it, the more he or she wants to get involved and that’s the best reward.

@Here2_4 , Things sure have changed since I went to kindergarten. Entrance requirements? That just seems ridiculous, as does learning to print before knowing how to read. Learning to write makes a whole lot more sense once you can associate sounds with the letters.

Pardon my rant.

I don’t see making letters at that age as any different than art work.

I taught my daughter to “print” before she could read. Her name was spelled CORY at the time. I just showed her how to make those symbols and she knew it had something to do with her, but what it was wasn’t exactly clear.
One time I walked into the living room and CORY was scrawled on the living room wall!
I said, “Cory! Come here!”
She came scampering in, with wide brown eyes and said, “What??”
I said, “We don’t write on walls! We write on paper!”
She stared at her art work for a moment, then looked at me me in confusion and said, ‘How did ju know it was me?”
OK, with one, final squeaking admonition about writing on walls, I had to leave the room to go laugh and laugh where she couldn’t see me!

Call it “art” @chyna.

Sounds to me like this 4 year old’s teaching-staff is putting the proverbial cart before the proverbial horse.

Teaching a kid penmanship before they recognize the ABCs is asinine, no matter what methods they use.

@chyna

How about a little clarification here.

Is this a case of the parent trying to cajole him to write or is this being done in his preschool?

What is the child’s level of interest? Does he like it ?

It’s the parent doing this. He ends up crying through the whole thing. I think the parent is probably yelling at him because she yells at her kids all the time. I have never witnessed her trying to get him to write though.

Ew! Not much you can do with a critter like that. The poor boy.

If this is not being required of him in preschool, and he has difficulty with fine motor coordination (which is very typical for a boy his age) then what the hell is the rush.

If she keeps insisting upon him doing things which are above his age and skill level, there is no better way to insure that he will end up a lousy student because he hates school.

You might want to drop her a good hard clue about this.

Leave the kid alone and let him develop normally.

Oh shit. That is really horrible news, @chyna. Her expectations are way too high. No wonder he has emotional (mental) issues already.

Giving candy to a child as a reward is NEVER a good idea for anything.

I so agree. I don’t use food for any reward, or punishment, ever. Food is for eating when you are hungry the end.

Wait…whenever my son has a tragedy that requires stitches, or like the time he got hit by a car while riding his bike, I always take him for ice cream. I guess because every time some tragedy befell me my folks would take me for ice cream.

However, the problem in this particular case is not the issue of candy or not.

The real problem is this mother trying to force a child to do something which he is physically and emotionally incapable of mastering at this time in his life. This sets him up for constant failure and low self esteem.

It’s one thing if a precocious child with good motor skills decides they want to learn to write. It’s another thing altogether if a child is constantly bring yelled at to to something he just can’t manage to do.

The closest analogy which comes to mind is trying to force toilet training upon a child before they’re ready or have the muscle control to accomplish this.

The speed of muscle control development varies from one child to another and, again, boys typically lag behind girls.

Trying to force children to do what their physical development renders them incapable of accomplishing is a recipe for disaster.

This is all about the parents ego and has little to do with the child’s wants or needs. If she doesn’t ease up on this kid he will end up with a life full of anger, resentment and poor self esteem. She could stuff him full of candy morning noon and night but if he is not developmentally ready, he isn’t ready. The candy is a moot point. Somebody needs to give this mother a crash course in child development and age appropriate expectations.

I think we know this. The real question, is how to relay that to Mom in such a way that she won’t get instantly defensive and angry about the criticism?

This is so so sad. That’s one of the most common reasons for abuse—unreasonable expectations of a child. The parent is convinced that the kid can do something and is just screwing up to piss the parent off.

Screaming mom, upset kid – not the best scenario for learning.

Oooo! Have you seen those invisible ink activity books? They have pages with letters numbers, pictures. The child uses the “magic” pen to trace over them and the letters appear even if they still have poor hand-eye coordination. They learn to follow the lines. It is not quite as satisfying as the “plink” sound but the kids love seeing the results. I know mine sure did.

(I don’t know if they still make them. Who knows, maybe the Surgeon General discovered they were toxic or something.)