Will you help me decide how to be honest in this situation?

Is it necessary to provide any explanation? Could you simply inform the shy person that you chose someone else?

Thank you for taking time to visit with us about our training needs. We have interviewed other trainers, and we’ll move forward with someone we think is a better fit. [and that’s it!]

If she’s as shy as you indicate, it’s doubtful she’ll ask for more details. If she does—a simple “we found a better match for our personalities.”

Agree with both of the above.

I have no problems telling people things like that, usually, but…she was so nice.

Yes, just tell her you enjoyed meeting her but you have found someone you think is a better fit. If she asks for feedback as to your decision then you could gently tell her that you feel she is a bit to timid and shy and prefer a more outgoing personality to meet your needs.

I would thank her for meeting you and say that we had seen several people and say they seemed like a good choice but we had to pick one and we’re going to try someone else.

(Though, when you described the first person, my first person was that’s true of a lot of dogs too – she’s probably a natural. On the other hand, I’ve heard from expert dog trainers who work with the dogs’ humans, that the dogs rarely need much training – the hard part is usually training the humans.)

You just say thank you for meeting with us, we’ve decided on a different trainer who better meets our needs at the moment. If she asks for more info, tell her you need someone who’s more of an extrovert to add more zing and life to your training program. And that while her dog training skills are great, she seemed rather quiet and you both feel you need someone who will bring some strong energy to your work. She’s unlikely to ask!

Ask for references, then call and get comments on that or any particular trainer.

Are you training the dog, or yourselves? Seems like the best choice would be to pick the one that’s best for the dog.

But as far as your choice: seems like you’ve already chosen.. so there’s really no better response than what has already been said.

Timid dog with a high energy trainer doesn’t seem like a natural fit. Low key trainer and timid dog seem like the better match.

I think that it is most kind of you to want to spare a fellow quiet type’s feelings. Many would not even worry. I think just explaining that you appreciate her time, and will keep he in mind when another needs a trainer.

“You were really great and you had great ideas but we decided to go with someone else who we think was a better fit.”

I’m with @tinyfaery in that I would probably choose a timid trainer for a timid dog.

Thanks, all!

The trainer is supposed to train us, we will then go on to train the dog. I’m a trainer myself, I don’t need her to explain the basics or work with the dog – we just want an outsider to cheer on my sister. While I had already made my choice, thanks for your thoughts!