If you were trapped in your most recent dream, what kind of life would you be living?

A very sexy one. I’d have to include a doctor in my dreaming, to call every four hours or so, I suppose.

One where I summarily execute aliens hell bent on our destruction.

I don’t remember my dreams from last night. I usually only remember the really off-the-wall ones. I’ve got a long history of very creative nightmares, and I actually look forward to them.

In the immediate, short term, i’d be getting multiple blowjobs from many, many sexy she-elves.

I would be looking for my car forever.

I’d be about to marry Russell Brand… then I woke up.

A very confusing and disordered life. The debate crawls onward as to whether or not the dream life would be an improvement.

I would be an alien living on earth posing as a human, biding my time until the inevitable extinction of the human race at the hands of my invasion fleet.
What can I say, I am living my dream.

Actually I had a dream about something I hope will happen in the future. Fingers crossed!

Teasing the forces of darkness.

Running from tornados

I was walking down an alley with a flashlight as the only source of light, then BANG, I was dead.

Stuck sleeping at an airport, having to share an air mattress very reluctantly with an old flame, getting through the awkward silence minute by minute, knowing that I’d still have to catch a flight with him the next day.

So, I was on a date with quite possibly the most boring dude in the history of forever, but he was a looker and a nice guy, so I was running with it. (dream me is so unlike real me)

The driver (because in my dreams I have a driver) is asking “I should fire you” questions about what we like about each other, and I’m in the middle of describing Sir Snoozealot’s finer points, when suddenly the sky goes dark, and we’re driving in a major storm.

A giant chunk of debris flies into the car, taking half the car AND my very cute, dull date with it.

A moment of mourning, and then I sprint off to find another car. Lightning is intense, there are water spouts everywhere, but I make it into a car that starts when I enter. (It’s a dream…I didn’t even have to hijack it. Whatever)

So now I’m driving around like a mad person, but I’m LOST. I don’t know where I am, but I know I need to get to the hockey rink, because that’s the safest place in town.

I get off the highway and pull up to one place. It’s a coffee shop. Yay coffee, but not a hockey rink. I try to convince the coffee shop people to come with me but they don’t believe the apocalypse is upon us, so I leave alone.

I find the hockey stadium, but the roads are so poorly designed I can’t find the entrance. That’s ok though because all the ice has melted and it’s totally flooded.

I leave the place, and end up back on the highway, in the wrong direction. The tornados know this.

Then I woke up.

I would hate to be trapped in the dream I had last night. I read a pamphlet that said the military base next door was giving away free Humdingers to anyone who wanted one. I went and asked for one, and it turned out to be a small bomb. So then I tried to return it (driving around with it in my trunk) to another military base, and the rigamarole they made me go through was so long and complicated.

Well, I don’t know about what life, but, I did dream the other night that I had this cool new computer with a red keyboard. It was awesome. haha