I don't understand relationships -why do they exist?

When you’ve really the done the work you need to, you may be able to find a satisfying relationship. It’s hard to tell what you really want from your posts here.

For men, sex. For women, security. “Nuff said.

Children. You owe your life to it kiddo. Men want sex, women want resources and safety. I gets very complex but that’s the gist of it. Some will say that one on one relationships are always fundamentally selfish but I disagree, I see them being altruistic all the time. When they are mutually altruistic it can be a beautiful thing….this is rare but worth working toward. Finding people who can transcend their biology and truly love is not easy though, especially in youth.

“Isn’t it very strange as naturally jealousy, doubt, paranoia and dissatisfaction are always at play?”

Ugh, no. These things are not naturally at play. If healthy, functional adults are engaged in a healthy, functional relationship then these things are not part of the picture at all.

If you are a Believer, then you know why it exists. However, we will take it that you are not and just go with the garden variety secular slant. Even if one believes the world is just the world, certain things are hardwired in most of us, that is to get with someone special of the opposite sex. Bypassing some intelligent design that placed the desire there, you have to go with nature, any species that was not hermaphrodite would be extinct pretty quickly if that was not the usual order of things. That is the Cliff Notes of it but it goes to more than that. The other junk, jealousy, coveting, bitterness, etc. that accompany relationships are because of immaturity of the participants or just their nature because they have nothing more to aspire to. ,

So i can just make children and move on. Why the relationship part? It feels fake.

A better question for you to ask yourself might be “What am I looking for in a relationship?” Or even “Am I looking for a relationship now or not?”

The answer may change over time. As my needs and wishes change, I am looking for different things in a relationship now than I was 30 years – or even 4 years – ago.

As long as you feel that ”...naturally jealousy, doubt, paranoia and dissatisfaction are always at play?” you should not ”...just make children and move on.”
Those things are not naturally always at play, and unless you are breeding to supply other people with children, your relationships with your offspring will be seriously tainted by your negativity. Kids have a rough enough time figuring out human interaction without an angry, bitter, mother compounding the process.

You said: Isn’t it very strange as naturally jealousy, doubt, paranoia and dissatisfaction are always at play?

No! That is just a fucked up vision of reality.

Normal, decent relationships are not like that.