What would be the purpose of a friend calling you up and telling you, in relation to your health, "enjoy your ____ now because when you get older, you're going to have problems with it?"?

One word: Projection. She’s telling herself she’s trying to be helpful but in fact she’s projecting her own fears onto you. I think your FB response was correct, but an in-person chat would be better.

Probably just habit. This sounds like someone who always wants to point out that she has “knowledge”, and has a negativity of spirit to always point out the dark side of anything like this.
My mother is like this, and I have learned that even telling her that I have a new car will bring up a series of “here’s why that’s a bad idea” remarks.

There’s no reasoning, or fixing it. Sorry.

And what @Pachy said, too. ;-)

Some people in this world are just damn unpleasant to be around. That’s what your acquaintance sounds like. If nothing ever happens to you, she can say, “you are lucky, but someday you will regret it.” If something does happen, she can say, “see, I told you!”.

It’s not trying to make you anxious, that would imply she is mindful of your feelings. It is really a means of building her ego in her own eyes by putting you down.

Overactive mind. She thinks it, so she has to say it.

The other thing I told her in my FB private message was that when I get old, there are way worse things that can happen other than not being able to wear my contacts. That would be the least of my issues, and a blessing if that’s the only problem I have.

Don’t be surprised, @jca, if she promptly, and with unbridled glee, sends you a list of “way worse things”! :-)

@jca, it may be useful to consider why this bugs you so. There’s a part of you that rather than dismissing it as nonsense is feeling a need to justify why it is untrue. It makes me think of one of the four agreements that we accept exactly the amount of abuse we think we deserve. I had something not similar but with similar effect happen to me last week, and I was surprised at how persistent my inclination was to right a wrong that was done to me. It only resolved when the moment passed over a matter of days. Your friend’s opinion is kind of dumb and just an opinion, so why does it have a hook in you, and more important, what’s keeping you from dismissing it? I’m not asking for an answer to those questions, I’m just offering some food for thought.

Another thought—I had a boss once who was a crazymaker and constantly moving the goalposts. When I finally resolved that “she’s crazy so of course she would do that,” then I was never surprised or disappointed, because of course she would do whatever she did.

@kevbo: I did think about why it bugged me so, and I concluded that I felt like she has anxiety about her health (which she does, a lot, and is taking lots of medication for it) and is trying to make me anxious, worrying about something that may or may not happen.

He or she is being belittling, negative. To cause you some mental anguish so you’ll feel as bad as they do. An attempt to control you, in some way. Want a nice come-back? Remark casually about how nice it will be then to have company on the journey like them. But don’t dwell on it too much or you will become what they want. Blow it off! Think positive, happy thoughts!

The same motive that one of my friends had yesterday when they told me, and I quote,
” You better vote and you better vote republican!” Yep, @Pachy nailed it, projection.

I’m not seeing the negativity with this statement like most of you are. I often hear statements like this from people, especially family, who are older than me. It’s just a friendly reminder to appreciate what good health you do have because your health does decline as you get older.

I would love to be able to get myself up off the floor without grunting. Appreciate your good back and knees, kids.

I tell guys considering prostate surgery to “use it or lose it” and “enjoy it while you got it.”

It is simple and sound advice. No malice intended.

I think partly projection, and partly she wants to remind people to enjoy what they have. She is uncomfortable and worried daily about her health. Her world is living in a very real state of knowing health can be lost very quickly.

Many times I have quoted my grandmother on Fluther. “Do what you want to do while you can do it.” It’s a reminder that all sorts of things can go wrong, and to enjoy and appreciate what you can do now.

I have to admit that even though I think like that, partly because I have been through a lot of medical stuff myself, and medical problems are very real to me, dry eyes from contacts would not trigger me to say, “enjoy your contacts now, because when you are 70 you probably won’t be able to wear them.” I talk about appreciating health in a much more general way. I also never assume a very specific thing will go wrong for a particular person. Some things are more predictable than others, but you still never know for sure what will happen in the future.

I hope she begins to feel better physically.

I think what really annoyed the crap out of me was that she called me up out of the blue just to tell me that. She said it with such enthusiasm, almost like she was excited and eager to tell me what could be coming my way.

@JLeslie: We hope she begins to feel better mentally, too. She’s started arguments and acted in all sorts of weird ways with her friends recently. She’s going to doctors 3 to 5 times a week and very obsessed with what seem like minor health ailments, and very demanding that people listen to her talk about them.

@jca I agree, it’s very weird she called you out of the blue to tell you you won’t be able to wear contacts when your older. If it were me, I’d probably tell you watch for dry eyes happening daily, you might need a blood test for your thyroid. Lol. That’s one of my symptoms when I’m over or under medicated, I start needing eye drops.

I think she can use some mental health help also, but I also believe she actually has something physically wrong. It’s all probably a vicious circle. She is handling things very poorly and probably making things worse than they need to be. I can’t imagine going to the doctor that often, just that alone would give me a nervous breakdown.

@jca Some people are just know it alls and can’t just take anything you say at face value without inserting their 2 cents worth. Drives me nuts. I know someone like this, and while I appreciate her good qualities she can be such a know it all. Almost anything you say, share or casually mention merits some major “helpful” response or know it all reply. Gah! I have learned to just not say certain things that I know will prompt her know it all-ness. lol