Can you help me come up with ideas to help my chair-bound daughter find something to keep her interested and occupied?

Quilting to sell.

I like the idea about quilting. Does she have an iPad or other kind of tablet? On it she could paint, play games, write, tease her mind, do a million other things.

Well, sure but she’s just lost interest in games. She’s lost interest in everything. I’m looking for something that will allow her to feel useful and productive.

Does quilting require much space and does it require her to stand up and down often?
Does it require a sewing machine?

Does she have a sewing machine? Making shoulder bags, cellphone covers and scarves is not too difficult, and mixing fabrics and patterns can be a lot of fun. Especially if she has people to give this sort of thing to.

I don’t think she sews…..she’s more of a chainsaw kind of girl, like her Momma.

Hmmmm….knitting? Knitting will allow her to shift positions as she’s working. .... ....

If she is not moving around I hope she has cut her calorie intake significantly. Extra weight will make everything more difficult. E.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g! Make sure she has a scale readily accessible and put a chart on te wall so she can track her progress. A pound a week can sneak up on her until she finds herself 50 pound heavier by next Christmas.
When eating is the only thing a person can do it is all too easy to overdo it and gain weight. Help her.

When my son (at the time ~25 years old and active) was hospitalized and bedridden for an extended stay his intake was held at around 1400 calories per day.

No, she’s doing alright in the weight department. She is aware of what could happen. I was over just yesterday and sneaked a peek just to be sure. She was hobbling into the kitchen and I said, “Jen!”
She turned a bit and said, “What.”
I said, “You still have a nice butt!” She almost smiled.
:D it’s an on going joke with us.

She’s also not the type of person to have food within reach. If she gets hungry she has to painfully get up and hobble to the kitchen.

It may be difficult but it does not take much to get over 1500 calories. She can hit that by scarfing down 7 Christmas cookies over the day.

Make sure her fridge is stocked with lots of veggies. (and quietly hide the fudge.) ;-)

If she is in pain now imagine how she will feel with an extra 20 pounds on her frame.

@LuckyGuy, I am well versed on caloric intake and results.

My daughter has been chair ridden for 3 months and hasn’t gained any weight. She’s stayed on top of it.

She is 37 years old.

She is married.

Her husband will tend to her needs.

She’s smart.

She’s always been a veggie fiend. I had to hide the veggie plates from her when we had adult get togethers when she was young.

She is fully aware of the dangers of gaining too much weight. We have discussed it. She brought it up actually.

She does not have Christmas cookies or candy or fudge in the house. She never has chips and junk stuff like that. She never does, even through the rest of the year. Neither do I for that matter.

Above, she does not need an overwrought mother rushing 20 miles to her house every day, hovering over her telling her what to do, what not to do, what to eat, what not to eat, what to keep in her fridge, what to throw out, like she’s a helpless and stupid child. She feels shitty and useless enough as it is.

I thank you for your concerns, though.

Programming and/or digital art/design can be very lucrative and are possible to do with a physical disability. Learning something new usually improves my spirits.

@Dutchess_III If she’s smart then can you invite her to Fluther? Maybe she could volunteer as Fluther mod?

I have. She isn’t interested @RedDeerGuy1. And that’s just as well.

Hmmmm…do you have a link I could look at @gorillapaws?

Dang it @LuckyGuy! All this talk of fudge and I have no chocolate in the house! No candy at all….wait…I do have coco. And sugar. And vanilla. And milk. And butter. AND VANILLA ICE CREAM! Homemade chocolate syrup, here I come!

Only she can answer this.

Here’s a link to a programming tutorial by a group called Django Girls.

I know “Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain” is a highly regarded book for learning to draw. Just a couple of ideas. You can take thousands of college courses for free on the internet now. You won’t get credit (of course) but you can learn about almost anything that interests you for the price of your internet connection. That has to be a better use of time than watching tv.

@ARE_you_kidding_me She’s so depressed, she can’t even think beyond the moment. She asked me to help her with applying disability because she just can’t face the hoops she knows she’d have to jump through. I doubt she could even think of anything she likes at the moment. I want to surprise her with something so that when she’s sitting there, alone while her husband is working, watching the 5000th CSI season, she’ll think, “Hm. I think I’ll give that a go.”

I agree, @gorillapaws. I’ll look through your link. Thanks somuch.

While new interests are always worth developing, it sounds like she may need professional help. Has she told her doctor about the depression?

I’ll talk to her about it but, gee. She has every reason to be depressed. What could a doctor possibly do about it?

Even if she has every reason to be depressed, a doctor might prescribe anti-depressants that would help her. And is she on any pain meds that help her get around more easily?

As far as things to do, my Ex and I were into origami for a while which was fun and challenging. Or for art, how about drawing or watercolor paints or pastels? Needlepoint or embroidery?

Books on tape?

She is on a boat load of pain pills, and she hates that too.

Well, she’s capable of reading a book, and she has lots of them. She’s lost interest in that.
Maybe a book on origami…..yeah, I think I’ll get her one. Maybe some pastels and an artist’s book.

The thing is, she’s young. She wants to do young things….she wants to go camping and hiking….

@Dutchess_III I really feel for you and her. It’s terrible to be that hampered!

Apple tv. and Netflix

She has both, @RedDeerGuy1. But would you be happy doing nothing but watching TV for months on end?

@janbb It is. I think I’ll talk to her hubs, see about seeing a doctor for her depression. I just have a feeling she’ll balk at more drugs.

Does she like to write? She can tell a story. I’m sorry that I can’t help more. I’m in the same boat , but my pain is emotional.

@Dutchess_III Your daughter is around my age so I can’t imagine being knocked back in the prime like that. If it was me I would need some time to be depressed and work through all of the emotions attached with it. Counseling would probably be a good thing if it is available to her. If it is something that there will not be a resolution to then she may have to come to terms with it. Finding something that makes her happy in her present condition sounds like a tall order but don’t give up on it. Is she artistic, technical, both?

She probably feels isolated and hopeless- if she is trapped in the house, depression is almost inevitable.

In my area there’s a paratransit program called MetroAccess. I’m not sure how the application process works, but a van outfitted for wheelchairs will pick you and bring you to your destination or connect you to public transit. There are also private companies that do this.

Drugs aren’t the only solution for depression. Talk therapy could be immensely helpful. There might also be a support group in the area for her condition, disability in general, or young people with disabilities. Or there may be a volunteer program for people to do home visits. If she is this depressed, she absolutely should be talking to someone. Anti-depressants could be part of the solution if she wants, but that’s optional and on a case-by-case basis. Depression is an illness in its own right and needs to be treated.

If she starts feeling better, she will probably regain interest in things on her own. Finding/ applying for all of these things can be pretty involved. If you did the research and presented her with a few simple options, she might go for it.

Tell her to smoke some good weed, start stretching and learn the beauty of having a million things to watch, all at her fingertips. She can get into some new shows or watch something from when she was young.

I’m going to buy @LuckyGuy a huge box of Christmas cookies. I know how much he loves ‘em.

Possible project things:

Crocheting amigurumi toys. Making your favorite video game characters out of yarn is fun.

Whittling. It’s like carpentry but smaller, and without all the back-aching power tools. And you get to use sand paper, AND make her husband vacuum afterward. Bwa ha ha.

Finger painting. No, seriously. Some of my favorite paintings (that I’ve done) were made worth no brushes, in less than 30 minutes, while drunk.

Drunk painting rocks. It’s like therapy but messier.

I go with “Drunk Painting Rocks!”

Actually, when she was about 6 she painted a rock. We were at her dad’s softball game. She came to me with this big rock and asked if she could take it home. I said I didn’t care.
The next day she disappeared in her room for a couple of hours, then came out and presented me with this. I was stunned! I immediately applied a spray varnish to it.
She also found a cat in a rock which she painted. I had it for a long time, then it broke its neck.

What were her interests prior to the onset of her condition? Did she enjoy the work at the job she’s losing? And does she have a network of friends?

She liked her job as a QA manager, she did not like the people she worked with.

Her interests before were remodeling her house, camping, and working her veggie plot in the back yard.

Not many friends that I know of.

Starting an indoor garden is fun, and can be done seated. Maybe she can get strong seedlings going, then sell some to people who procrastinate to much.
I have a great way to plant individual terrariums inexpensively.
Get her a wood burning kit. Cut a sapling nobody needs, which has a trunk 3’ – 5’ in diameter. Then cut drink coaster size slices. She could burn cool quotes into each piece, or designs, and sell them at a craft show.

Calligraphy. If she becomes good at it, she could make money from it.

Writing. Get her a book of writing prompts and see if she’s inspired to write. She could even do an online writing course.

Study. Enrol in an only course. You can enrol in Mooks for nothing. If she feels really motivated, find her an online course that will give her qualifications. You can do degrees online these days. (Many of my students have disabilities that prevent them studying on campus).

Scrapbooking. Making cards. If she’s artistic, she might like trying some of those types of crafts.

I like needle point. It is still art without the paint. I use to do in Japan when I had nothing to do. It was calming and since it takes so many hours till days to do or even weeks, it can become addictive and make you forget your worries. Plus it’s great when you finish it. It’s like a slow unveiling painting that you can put down and pick up where you left off. I especially found it helpful when I would be sick. I didn’t feel time slipping by, nor feel like I was wasting my time. She could create things as gifts for love ones or if she gets really good and can make her own designs, then maybe she can sell them on Etsy. There are designs that people create and post on pinterest.com

Can she still use a Dremel? I want to play with glass etching with my new rotary tool and it would be cool to have someone to learn with.

Yeah she can use a dremel. She just can’t walk and stand.

Ricks 7 year old grandson is into art so we bought him an art set. I was at Walmart yesterday and saw a How To Learn To Draw book, so I picked it up for him. At home I started looking through it…and it is WAY to complex for a 7 year old! So I’m going to give her that, among other things.

Great ideas all…and @Pandora I just signed up with pinterest for the first time!