Is it normal for a boy to sleep with 35 different girls by the age of 25?

“Normal” sexuality is going to be different for everyone. If they were safe about it and honest with the people they slept with (no lying, cheating, etc.) who cares? There’s nothing wrong with questioning it and exploring how it makes you feel in your head, because it’s a better way to get to know yourself and how you feel about your own sexuality, and what your personal limits might be. Just shelve the judgement unless they were jerks about it. I was a virgin at 18 when I slept with someone who had previously slept with something like 30 women and he was around 22 at the time. I later wished that I hadn’t lost my virginity to him, but not because of the number of sex partners he had before – just because it wasn’t ideal on many fronts.

Everyone’s number is different and the past is the past. Concern yourself only with whatever relationship you’re actively in and how they treat you and you treat them. Nothing else is relevant. If they (or you) end up being jerks about anything, kick them to the curb or get kicked to the curb. Focus on now.

There is no “normal” when it comes to sexuality.

If his sexual history is not in alignment with your own belief system, then don’t date him.

This is one of those questions where you have to ask what is normal and with sexual conquests I have yet to stumble across a figure that embraces the concept of “normal” with regards to sexual partners.

If you just break down the numbers and assuming this man became sexually active at 17, 35 partners is just over 4 partner a year or one every 4 months. Still numbers do not tell the story of this young man as a person. If he is a creeper and using and abusing the women he beds then even 2 sexual partners is too many.

It’s not “normal” and probably not the truth. Normal is going to be south of ten. I’m in my late thirties and my number is two but I’m not getting that close to someone I’m not serious about and both were/are very long term relationships. This has kept me out of so much trouble and drama I can’t even begin to imagine.

It seems very juvenile to be bragging about it because he is actually a man at age 25, not a boy. Only date him if you want to be another notch in his belt.

I am not going to be open-minded and call that “normal”. I can’t.

Stating a number like that tells me 4 big things about him:
1) He is not to be trusted with personal information.
2) He is either a blowhard or liar. (I do not know which is worse.)
3) Either he or 34 women have rejected him after sharing one of life’s most intimate experiences
4) Odds are very good that woman number 36 will end up the same way.

I would not waste any time with him.

(Please reread what I just wrote.)

It’s not totally off the charts, but it isn’t what I could consider normal either.

I agree with @LuckyGuy – if you want anything more than a roll in the hay, then this guy is poison for you. On the other hand, if all YOU want to do is get laid, then go right ahead.

What do you want?

Sure, everyone deserves a rest now & again.

That number seems outrageously excessive.
If it is true, it would indicate they are shallow, uninterested in maintaining relationships, and bad in bed.

There are a lot of people here disputing that your friend is telling the truth about his apparently vast sexual history. They also seem to think that having so many sexual partners is an indication that he could not possibly be interested in you for anything other than sex.

When I was in my early 20s I went through a bit of a phase and I slept with more than a handful of people. You’ll notice my heavy use of euphemisms here. I probably had sex with more than 20 people in the course of a year and a half, and my sexual partner count is probably over 35. I’m 25 years old now. I do not brag about this number though, because I am a woman, and if you have slept with 35 people at the age of 25 as a woman, then you are a dirty slut.

But during this period of my life I also met my current boyfriend. As soon as we started going out, I stopped sleeping with other people. We have been going out for 3 years and I haven’t slept with anyone else in that time.

Some people have said that you shouldn’t waste your time with these guys because having so many sexual partners is an obvious red flag. They are either bad in bed, uninterested in relationships, hate women, are serially rejected, liars, etc. etc. But I wanted to offer myself up as a counterpoint here, because I am none of those things. I just really like sex.

@filmfann LOL. It’s true about the last one. I was friends with a guy years ago who had tons of girls. Twice he did fall in love but they left him. Then he finally marries a girl he got pregnant. She was a virgin and madly in love with him. So one day she had a private conversation with me and asked me what was she doing wrong in bed. She explained what he was doing and said that she’s heard about climax and has never had one. She told me intimate details and it turned out this Romeo was the most selfish lover ever.
Yep, so I found out large numbers could very well mean the guy was easily released, back into the wild. LOL If not a douche in bed, at the very least, probably diseased.

I don’t know if it’s “normal” or “true” or “typical” but I don’t see the point in him telling you about his supposed quantity of sexual partners. Bragging? He thinks he’s impressing you? If that’s what he thinks is impressive, then I think of him as immature. It might be true, it might not be, but I don’t see the purpose.

Actually this guy has a notebook where he writes down all the girls he slept with lol

Well, if they literally spend all their time trolling Tinder for one-night-stands, or picking up Craigslist whores, it might be true.

35 sexual encounters isn’t an incredible amount at their age, but 35 different people tells me they’re not investing an incredible amount of time in any one of them.

I make no claims as to the “normality” of any of it. I’m not normal, myself.

I actually did a little research. (These numbers were self reported so they might be a little low.)

“The latest numbers in the U.S. come from the National Survey of Family Growth. Broken down by gender, women ages 15 to 44 reported an average number of lifetime partners of 3.2. Men reported 5.1 sexual partners; 21% of men and 8% of women reported having 15 or more partners. These numbers are much higher than those from a survey of Spanish women ages 18–70, where 6.4% reporting having more than five partners in their lifetime.

So averages range from a low of four to a high of 10 partners, and only a small minority of people have had more than 15 partners. If you look to the marketing/survey research conducted by for profit companies, like the often cited Durex Global Sex Survey, the numbers are higher. They put the average number of sexual partners at 10, and individual country numbers are all significantly higher than those listed above.”

Most people in their 30s have had an average of between 8 and 9 sexual partners.

There you go – data. Use it.

Do you want your name in that notebook?

After your last question, this is such a bad idea!

Also, @jca is right. Bragging about your number of partners is really immature. Seeing your partners as a number is immature. How much time or effort do you think they devoted to any of these people?

Assuming we become sexually active at 15 or 16, that’s maybe 3 or 4 people a year. I don’t consider that especially outrageous. The number itself doesn’t matter so much; their present actions today are much more important. These guys are really young- probably too young to have grown out of the phase they’re in.

As for whether it’s possible, it would be more than 4 per year (if he’s been doing it for 8 years), which is not astronomical. To me, I’d steer clear of anybody who talked like that.

I don’t know what is ‘normal’. I think there are many forms of ‘normal’ when it comes to sex. What I think is rather not normal is going on about one’s ‘tally’. I won’t sleep with a guy to just end up a number, but that’s me and my ‘normal’. If it bothers you, too, then that’s your ‘normal’ and don’t feel you need to go against it. If it bothers you, it bothers you.

The stereotypes being presented here about people who have had sex with a lot of people are completely unfair, in my opinion. However, I don’t at all disagree with the people who have said it’s extremely immature for him to write down how many women he’s slept with in a notebook and that is absolutely a red flag. It’s not the number of people he’s slept with, it’s his behavior about it that matters.

My number of sexual partners is much lower than pretty much every single person I know, but I still don’t judge people just because they’ve had sex with a lot of people. It doesn’t mean those who have slept with more people than me are worse, morally bankrupt, immature, or can’t have good relationships. This guy, though, is not relationship material yet, because of how he approaches it.

I think the most likely truths behind that story is that most of his friends lie to each other about the number of their “conquests”, due to our rather unfortunate culture, and/or that some of them have had that many partners, probably mostly in superficial and not so great ways.

If those aren’t discouraging enough, I’d suggest that vital follow-up questions include how recently he’s exchanged bodily fluids with someone, what his known STD history/status is, how recently he’s had a blood test for STDs, which diseases were tested for, what the test results were, and whether or not you could see a hard copy of the test results before considering dating him.

I’d also ask him lots of questions about what those relationships were like, etc etc etc.

The number itself isn’t necessarily a problem – maybe he’s a super considerate and responsible person… but it’s certainly worth finding out about the other possibilities, since there are many potential problems.

Maybe normal for some, definitely not normal for all.

@trolltoll Thank you for your honesty. I am also a woman and slept with over 30 boys/men by the age of 20. I am also none of the things some people here are describing.

I’ve known many men who have slept with a large amount of women. Some were players and some just enjoyed being single. It didn’t mean they were bad in bed. Not by a long shot.

I don’t think that normal is the real issue here.

From your previous questions I get the impression that you’ve had your fill of brief and shallow sexual encounters.

So let me phrase it this way: if I were looking to find a meaningful ongoing committed relationship, this guy sure wouldn’t be first on my list or even last on my list. He wouldn’t be on my list at all.

Why? Because regardless of whether or not he’s lying about the total, the fact that he’s bragging about it or keeping tally in a notebook let’s me know that he’s certainly not ready for the kind of relationship I’m looking for.

He’s just way too immature and self centered at this point in time. Whather he ever outgrows this immaturity is not something I’d want to waste my precious time observing. I don’t care to be #36 on his list because it’s highly unlikely to be the last number.

Focus your attention on finding someone who values the QUALITY of relationships rather than the quantity. The fact that he’s bragging about the quantity let’s you know where his priorities lie.

You can do so much better than this. It may take a while but it will be worth it. Quality lasts. Quantity is temporary until the next one comes along to raise the total.

You are worth more than just being another one in the tally.

Any guy who keeps a notebook of all of the women he’s slept with is a looser. Isn’t there a mental list you have that automatically rules people out? Collecting the names of sexual “conquests” in a journal should probably rank right up there with “runs a dogfighting operation,” and “drinks his own urine.” Do you really want to be #36 on his list? That seriously has appeal to you?

I don’t want to be judgmental, but you really should recalibrate your mental model of what a “relationship material” man is. If you’re just looking for a quick lay then have fun, but don’t fool yourself into thinking he’s going to turn out to be Prince Charming.

I don’t want to be judgmental, but

The but doesn’t exclude you from being judgmental. Don’t pretend to not be.
fyi Blondesjon and I were both horn dogs before we met each other. We then became horn dogs together and here we are 24+ years years later.

@gorillapaws

I don’t necessarily want to be judgemental either (generally speaking) but sometimes a situation comes along that is just screaming out for some sensible judgement by somebody.

And this one is definitely one of those.

I think the difficulty here is in being able to define normal.