Everyone has a role that they, themselves, feel that they are destined to play for different periods of times in their lives. You have said that you are The Rock of the group. That is a pretty good place to be. Yet, you want more. Let me give you, if you would, some ideas that may help.
– You are looking at people through eyes that may not be seeing everything that you should. You may be coloring your own view. That can be serious enough to cause you all sorts of problems. Real or imagined.
23— eh? Perfect.
First, please go and find a psychologist or counselor to talk to. Not just once. But long enough to get a different perspective on what is- and what you see. There is something totally blocking you from being able to step back and assessing what is really going on around you. This counselor may just say one thing that suddenly makes you see some things that you haven’t before, and it will click. You need someone to be honest with, because you said that you aren’t being truthfully honest nor open with your friends. Funny, but I would believe that they would say some things that would stun you about yourself. Really positive things! They would be much kinder to you than you are allowing yourself to be! That is why you need to go talk to someone who is unbiased, or impartial. There is something untapped in your self esteem that is stopping you in believing in yourself. You are all the constant you have, physically and mentally. If you are not taking care of you- who will? There are a number of individuals out in the world who wait for someone who is wobbly on their self-esteem. It’s as though they have found someone who will believe the ‘you are terrible’ message that they often dish out. That is why, at some of the times that you see these guys throwing themselves at those you see as beautiful, they are really not the kind of guy you really would be interested in, are they? Or is it just the fact that they could just as easily throw themselves at you, schmuck or dreamy alike, and that would make you feel better?
Seriously, do go and talk, talk, talk to someone that can make things have some meaning for you.
Next, again, if I may, if you want to learn how some of the most regular women in the world make themselves look like a goddess- then you will have to put in the work that this kind of desire to have, requires that you do.
One, start flipping through magazines and saving your pennies. Get an idea of what you want your hair to look like. I mean- figure out your hair-type, facial shape, weather or climate variables effect on it. Then look through the favs to find someone of similar characteristics. Your friends, I would be willing to say, would adore helping you with this. No joke.
Then make an hair appointment with someone who has a great reputation. Color? Cut? Length? etc. Do Not go in with no idea and vaguely circle your finger around your head and say- “Have your way with my hair…” You may end up in the pages of ‘Don’t Ever, Ever, Do This’ rulebook. Have an idea. Pictures, etc. and talk about what is realistic for you as far as care. Can you keep up with the hair-rituals needed for a specific look? What happens if the color starts to grow out? Hair care can be as intricate or as easy as you are willing or likely to put into it. If you like to sleep in- figure that in towards your desired results.
Ready for the next?
Make-up. If you are wanting glam and gorgeous, it doesn’t just happen for 99% of people, they put in the time. Again, find the kind of look you are going after. Office/school is not date or later in the evening looks. Do you have department stores near you? Not one that has the samples everyone and their brother has tried, eaten or drooled on. I mean, make up behind the counter-type of store? There are different Houses of products which can set you up with everything you need- and take you to the bank. Some items they might have are sometimes worth every penny. To get a lay of the land, walk around amongst the counters. Look at the prices of lipstick. That should give you an immediate idea of c$st. Don’t faint, act cool at what some go for. :)
Take a friend with you. They can help with the chatter or distraction of the sales people- who’s job it is To Sell. Some will offer you a free make-over. Set up an appointment or jump in. Ask whether it is a full-faced or ½ face appt. They are going to put everything that you have ever seen in those rows and rows of counter space, on your face.
You do not need all of them. Repeat- no. No. No, thank you. Not today. etc.
The idea of getting this done a couple of times with different brands is to see what tips, secrets, brushes, styles, shortcuts, etc. that they use. They are good at creating faces. Just don’t end up having so much on that you could walk on a stage or perform as a Kabuki, OK?
Lighter is better. Write down what you like – brand wise, etc. Get the name of the Salesperson/Makeup Artist, many have cards. If you do purchase a product -After you leave and think on it, it is only right that since they worked with you, they get the commission from the sale.
Remember that some makeup you purchase at a drugstore, etc. can often do the same thing as the pricier versions, but you need to understand that you get what you are willing to pay for. Again, girlfriends Love this kind of plan of attack. Some guys do also. (They can sometimes do a much better job also! )
Get a fragrance that is about you.
Practice different hair preps with the new cut et. al.
Go shopping – with friends- and try a new look. If you layer to hide- stop it. Go buy some magazines and see what some of the newer models look like. No longer are boney- beings the end-all-be-all look! And please- No ‘The New York Runway’ fashion mag’s looks! Those models are not real. They dine on cotton balls and soda water. And belch at inappropriate times. Euw.
Have fun and play. You are your own limitation on how much you want to change.
Please understand. You should work on the inside -as to a Counselor who can make the huge difference for you – before going into drastic overkill on changes! Yikes!
And then do your studying on different types and styles and…....all that. It is work to look like a glamour-puss. But it is achievable, if that is what would lift your spirits.
You may be surprised to find out- just how beautiful you really are, that you just can’t see by yourself, where you are in your mind right now.
In your beliefs- does God make mistakes?
If not, then start working on your gifts that you already possess. Make yourself better. Feel better about you. And remember the tripping all over themselves-guys? Look past them. There are much better guys out there. Trust me.
Please go talk to a person who can help you make it so, as your first step.
Good luck and please let us know how it is going! ;)
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