Do you know what it feels like to struggle?

Yes. I really want to answer this question, but I would have to start at age 2. It would quickly turn into a novel. I’ll just say that I’m amazed I made it this far in life and I don’t know how I turned out to be the kind of person I am.

Which is not to say that I don’t have a lot of problems. I’m just surprised I’m not dead, a complete moron, or addicted to drugs or alcohol.

Yes I do. I was a self employed waterproofer for the first 16 years out of college and I remember for at least one to two months every year I would have less than $100.00 in my business account which meant I did not get paid all that time. I once sold off a good chunk of my album collection just so I could pay the rent let alone eat.

I was so broke for a period of time I only had porridge and custard to eat. I had to go to my dad for a loan. When my ex and I got married, we lived pay packet to pay packet for a long time. We had a big mortgage. We just had to hope we didn’t have an emergency situation. We’d save up to do work around the house, then the car would break down and we’d be back at square one. There were no luxuries like lipstick or new dresses. For a while there I had three work dresses.

I was always broke in college, borrowing from people and struggling to pay the bills, but I did always have a car, a roof over my head and food because I lived with relatives. Beyond that, no.

What my mom tells me is that when I was a baby, she left my dad and he didn’t pay child support like he was supposed to, and she didn’t want to go to her parents (my grandparents) for money, so many times we had to eat tapioca and stuff like that.

In my early 20’s for a short time. About 6 months I could barely afford my bills. I did have a safety net of sorts, my parents, but I didn’t consider asking them for money. Eventually, my dad offered me $1,000 and I took it. Then I got a new job, actually going back to an old job, and I was able to afford things better. It was still fairly check to check for another year, although it was a comfortable check to check. Luckily, I had no major emergencies or issues during that time, and even for the next few years. If I had had something major go wrong I never would have been able to handle it financially on my own. During that time I still had the car my dad had bought me in college, so I had no car payment. I lived with roommates, so my rent was very low, and when I started to have some health problems I did have health insurance.

Financial worries are just awful! The stress is incredible. I saw Bernie Sanders talking about it yesterday, and I could see he really understood it. Lived it.

My financial struggle was so short lived it doesn’t compare to what so many people go through. My biggest challenges in life, my struggles, have been in other realms outside of financial. They have primarily been medical.

I’ve shard a lot of my stories on fluther before so I won’t bore you with repeating them (and I’m to lazy to choose.) I can say that all the struggles have served me well. I don’t think I would have the empathy I do and I don’t think I would feel the responsibility to take every opportunity to relieve suffering wherever I see it like I do. I know I must drive my husband crazy sometimes because we will be on our way somewhere and we will have to stop to help someone. I’m trying to get better at looking people in the eye and engaging in conversation, hearing peoples stories instead of just handing them a few bucks and I think that sometimes makes him proud and sometimes scares him.
One of my favorite stories of DOING a random act of kindness for someone struggling was when I was in a gas station and the guy in front of me was counting out coins to pay for a few dollars of gas. He obviously worked ( had a security guard uniform on) but made very little and was trying to get by until payday. When he left I gave the cashier $20 and told her to put it in his tank. As I was finishing my transaction he came running in in a panic telling the cashier that the tank didn’t turn off. I wanted to be gone before he discovered it, but it was awesome to see his relief and gratitude when he knew he would have enough gas in the car to get him to work for the rest of the week.
When I saw him counting out those coins I saw myself and that vicious circle. I know longer have to worry about having enough gas or paying a utility bill and I think that with that privilege come s a responsibility to lift others along the way. I don’t do it near as much as I should, or DO near as much as I should, but something is better than nothing and if I can do a little more I will.

Yes, and I’ve been going through a pretty big one since last October. While I share some parts of my life, there are others I keep private.

Suffice it to say, after a 4-day hospital stay, I’ve been medically unable to work, and since disability (both long-term from my employer and SSI/SSDI) is taking a loooong time for appeals, I have zero income. My wife’s part-time jobs (plural) are not enough, and our landlord just handed us a three-day “Pay or vacate” notice, though we are short enough on rent that we don’t feel bad about taking what little we have and getting our car payment current enough to avoid repossession.

That’s just the finances; I won’t get into the migraines, anxiety, or depression too much. But imagine if light levels that others considered dim were still bright enough to make your eyes burn, the slightest sound like a car driving down the street was loud enough to make you flinch, and you were so nervous that you couldn’t even get halfway through a sentence without ending in an impassible stutter.

It’s not the first time I’ve struggled. It’s not even the worst struggle I’ve had. But it’s enough to make me irritable at times (though that might be the migraines or just plain mood swings). Whether it’s calling in sick because I couldn’t afford the gas to drive to work, living in a panel truck in the middle of New England winter, having jobs fall out from under me as my employer’s fell victim to misfortune.

Sometimes I’ve had enough good fortune to get a little money saved up. Maybe even stash some in a 401k. When I had my car accident, that savings was enough to cover rent for the month it took me to get back to work… but not enough to cover all of the out-of-pocket medical expenses that insurance didn’t cover. For that reason, all the pampered people who say that the reason I am struggling because I didn’t save enough get told to go fuck themselves with a chainsaw and advised to shut the fuck up before I get violent. I refuse to take advice from snooty people who don’t know shit about shit.

That’s far from all of it, but it should be enough to explain why I sometimes have an attitude like, “Bitch, please…”.

Doesn’t every human being know what it means to struggle?

My filthy-rich mother-in-law, who’s never had a job and gets everything she wants by simply demanding it, has had a lifelong struggle with morbid obesity and is now struggling with cancer.

Oh my, I could write volumes about my experiences the last 3 years now after losing it all in the great recession. Suffice it to say it has been a pretty monumental upheaval and the road is still extremely rocky and the path a moonless one.
If I weren’t so exhausted today I’d go into more detail, but…yep, I’m there now. One day at a time.

@jerv I’m so sorry to hear of your travails. Life, you never know where it’s going to take you and I certainly agree with your sentiments on snooty advise from those that have never walked even one step in your shoes. The know it alls, keep a positive attitude types can be highly annoying. I only have one of “those” types in my life,but one is more than enough. haha

@Judi I concur, my empathy and desire to relieve suffering has been finely honed as well.

@Judi I love that gas pump story. I once had less cash on me than I thought and a guy at another pump gave me a couple of dollars. I would not have made it to work the next day without it. I actually paid him back. I think he thought I was nuts to worry about it.

I’ve given money on the supermarket check out line to people having to take out groceries they wanted to buy, because the money ran out. It’s happened twice.

The pay it forward acts are the best! Doesn’t have to be money. Fluther is like a big pay it forward of information.

@jerv Sorry to hear of your recent struggles. To me, you’re one of the all-round good guys here on Fluther and a most valuable and trusted contributor.

@Judi Awesome story, thanks for sharing.

@jerv ”I refuse to take advice from snooty people who don’t know shit about shit.” That. I’m sorry things are so tough for you at the moment. I empathize and understand, because I’m struggling in multiple ways at the moment, myself. Really hope things turn around for you shortly.

Almost nothing in my life has come easy. Nearly everything has been a struggle for me from you name it: classes in school, giving speeches, leadership, music, sports, socializing, romance, work, etc.

I make up for my mediocrity with brute force and perseverance. I never give up on the important things to me. I set high goals for myself and then fall short but still manage a modest level of success that I can be proud of.

To live is to struggle.

My impression from the OP is that she is referring to “struggle” in the sense of struggling to make ends meet, put food on the table, pay bills, not struggle in the sense of struggling in sports or speeches.

I have been through difficulties of all types—most recounted here. Losing a house and bankruptcy was one. Having to go through four years of my mother’s increasing disability and eventual death was another.

The lessons that those times have taught me is to really enjoy the good times. And to revel in the little bits of sunshine that peek through during the bad times.

You are correct @jca

Hugs to everyone.

I struggled to survive my father as a child, including being homeless for most of my 14th year of life.
I struggled from the age of 18 until I married at 27 to keep a roof over my head and food to eat and do well in college while working full time.
I’ve struggled with major depression since early adulthood.
I’ve struggled to keep my marriage together.
I’ve struggled to reevaluate my relationship with my family when my mom died, and still do.
I’ve struggled to keep jobs when all I wanted to do was die.
I am currently struggling through a depression and trying to get out of bed every day to keep a job I hate, all while trying to convince my wife that I’m ok and that she doesn’t need to have me hospitalized.

Every day I struggle to find any meaning in my life.

@Judi You are one of the best people I have never met and you make me believe that not all Christians are hypocrites.

Yes I sure do. I won’t go into detail but I have gone through my share of mental, physical, and spiritual crucibles. I thank God that He embraced me with His love, strength, and comfort to weather the storms. These experiences have given me a whole different perspective on life. No longer do I live a me, me, me life, it’s now an others, others, others life.

@tinyfaery you really made me cry. You made me a better person by calling me out. Even though I left the state I’m still in California a lot so we will have to make a point of meeting soon. I have a hankering to see the new Star Wars Land in Disneyland so I know I’ll be on your side of the grapevine sometime in the next year!

Anytime

I like how this question turned out. I luvs my Fluther family. even the ones I bicker with. No I’m not flunkering. yet

And we all love you too @dammitjanetfromvegas. I hope your family have a loving Christmas and a struggle-free 2016.

@tinyfaery I’m sorry that your depression is so bad. I know that it is a constant struggle to find the right drug or combination of drugs to lift it, but it is so worth it when you hit the right one.

You are worth it. The life that you have created with your wife and cats is worth it. Please hang in there and know that there are people who care about you.

Yeah, I do. It was cold as fuck outside. 30 below 0. It was cold inside and I couldn’t even cook. I ate the meat raw. I used brainpower to help me stay as warm as possible. Maybe someday I’ll go into more depth on how I survived.