How far do you agree with the article inside? Remember it's not about not loving your kids!

Well, gosh. All I can say is I’m glad I never had those kinds of feelings.

Some people aren’t meant for kids. I don’t understand why that concept is so hard to believe. I get so tired of people telling me I’ll change my mind “when the right one comes along.” All I can do is smile and stay quiet, because if I genuinely shared what I thought about raising kids I would be harshly judged. There are so many people out there that I don’t think are good at parenting. At least I know myself well enough not to do that to myself, my partner, or an innocent kid.

The concept is not hard for me to believe.

I have never felt this way. I cannot remember ever regretting having my children. I can understand how some people do. The notion that all people should have children, and those that do will all be good parents is ridiculous.

There are some truly terrible parents and if they do think “I shouldn’t have done this”, they are probably right. If it also leads to “Never let me do this again”, their potential unborn children may be lucky. Most parents fall into the middle zone, where parents aren’t perfect, but they aren’t terrible either. I think it’s the nature of the beast that parents who do care about their children spend at least some time feeling inadequate, wishing they’d done something different or better. We’re often in uncharted territory. No two children are alike. They don’t come with an instruction manual. I think there are times when all parents are puzzled or unsure of how to respond to a given situation. Parenting is the ultimate learning-on-the-job experience. With hindsight, I can say I’m so glad I had my three children. Had you asked me that question while I was sitting in a shopping centre trying to stop a screaming toddler from running off down the aisle again, I might have given you a different answer about how well things were going.

I would be amazed if there were not people who felt this way – and I very much appreciate that you reiterated that it has nothing to do with loving your children. Speaking as a person who has never wanted children, and never had any, I suspect I would feel this way at least part of the time if I were somehow forced into parenthood. I know myself well enough to know that I could love my child deeply, yet also regret having that child. These are not mutually exclusive emotions. Hell, I suspect my parents felt that way about every one of us.

In hindsight, I might have waited longer before getting married and having kids. I never took the time to sow wild oats or get to know myself without serious attachments.

But I would not trade my kid for anything. He’s pretty much awesome.

^^^ Yes he is!

Not at all, load of shit.
I wouldn’t change a thing & believe having my kids was the best thing I ever did.

26 years married and no kids,never wanted them,and to this day never regretted it.

I don’t feel like this myself as I enjoy my children. Sometimes I get the feeling mentioned in the article that I am pretending to enjoy playing with a game or liking a completely rubbish thing that they have created. But mostly I do enjoy being with them and like helping them improve their creations.

I have seen lots of people that don’t like their children, who don’t get any pleasure out of the childish things that children do. I get the impression that these are the kind of people in the article.

The article included a lot of people who had difficult relationships with their children for different reasons like a disability or a difficult personality. It seems to me that perhaps if the children had been different and easier to bring up, their problems with parenthood might be less. Not all – some seemed to genuinely not enjoy parenting.

If I were younger and could have had more, I would have had one more, if I could. Not that being a parent is always easy, but I love it and don’t regret it. I agree with above that the article might be referencing parents of difficult children.

I have never understood the eagerness of people to assume the risk behind the most important decision of their lives. I mean the most rational and sensible people who wouldn’t be caught dead gambling are overjoyed at assuming a risky and enormous financial (and far too often emotional) burden that may well extend to the end of their days. And today in an America where the societal obligation toward kids is drying up faster than spit on a griddle, the brutality of the struggle to rear children is numbing.

@stanleybmanly: Except in some groups, for example Hasidics.

I wish I’d had one more too, @jca.

But then they start having kids of their own. Christmas time no longer means buying 3 presents. It’s buying 13! Or 22. Depending.

@jca the Hassidim are truly exceptional. And you have to admire the extraordinary skill with which they compel the system to adapt to their needs. If the bulk of the nation’s poor ever managed to acquire the Hassadic talents for working the system, the political reality of the country would be stood on its head.