At what point would you be a DNR?
I’m piggybacking on the recent question about carrying out last rites.
CPR and intubation are very invasive, painful and damaging to the body. At some point would you choose to be DNR (do not resuscitate) vs being laid up in an ICU with a broken sternum, a breathing tube, and a failing system?
For me, I’m young and healthy, comparatively. If I were to need life saving intervention I’m all about it. However, as I become older and more brittle, I’m not so sure how I would feel. Some people never fully recuperate from CPR and intubation. They live in constant pain until death.
Is there an age limit to you wanting to be saved?
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13 Answers
For me it’s a brain issue.
I don’t want to be a vegetable, aware or not, but aware would be worse.
And I don’t want to be in my body if my mind was totally gone.
Pain I can live with. Prison, I can’t.
DNR.
Do Not Resuscitate.
Literally, take me at my word.
If I’m dead, leave me be.
You are never too young nor too old.
Have a DNR order in wallet, or with your ID.
In the hospital- post it on the wall above bed.
Clearly show it’s Your Choice.
My Dad had a DNR while being cared for.
The place did not want a ‘death’ to be added to the statistics, so in spite of his wishes (no posted papers- only largely visable on charts) when he had a fatal heart attack, they had the fucking nerve to call my Mom to ask if she wanted him ‘saved’ ( !!!) as a stall, and pounded on my Dad until the ambulance was out in the street -to pronounce him. No official death there!
No anger here. The assholes. :|
If I’m being kept alive by a machine, I’d rather they let me go. If I’m in a vegetative state, I don’t want to stick around. So if my quality of life has deteriorated to a point where my family know it is no life at all, then I would not want to be resuscitated.
And @msh, having a conversation about what you want to happen to you should you be involved in a catastrophic accident, or suffer a major brain embolism etc. etc., is not only for the aged. Young people should definitely communicate to their loved ones what they want to happen, whether they want to donate their organs, what organs, etc. Shit happens. We can’t always predict when it’s going to hit the fan. Make sure you have a will, have a living will, and yes, if you can carry a card that expresses your wishes, do so.
I’m 56 right now, as of the 26th of Dec. I have lived a good life, fear not death, went through some major spiritual ( not religious ) awakenings years ago, and am totally at peace with my mortality. Being a very independent type of person, any health crisis that would leave me at the mercy of others for my basic daily, independent functioning for a short while, a few months at most, well..no thanks, time to let go, no problem. I am one of those that thinks a sudden death is much preferable to malingering for months.
I really hope I just keel over from a heart attack or stroke or aneurysm and am spared a lingering and degrading demise. My fondest wish is to just go to the doctors one day expressing I have not been feeling well and be told I have 2 weeks to live. haha
I think it’s hard to say because there are so many possible variables. Age is just one of them. The type of injury or illness, the chance of recovery, will it be a limited recovery and what will be the restrictions?
I don’t want to be saved if I am brain dead, have bad dementia , or quad crippled.
Defining the whereabouts of that point is difficult but I’m certain that it’s there. I have been vexed lately by the number of people who have “called it quits” around me, but I fully appreciate the exhaustion involved with long term suffering.
I have heard doctors flat out tell patients that they didn’t think they would survive CPR with a positive outcome. Older patients with chronic disease, for example. Why have someone pound away at you and “save your life” only to have you get pneumonia and die a month later from the broken sternum?
I really don’t care.
Financially, my position is somewhat unique. There will be money from a military retirement coming in for a long as I am [believed to be] alive, which gets cut in half at death. For the sake of the family, keep the tube in. Keep the air going forever for all I care.
My ultimate perspective on the matter is that I will pass precisely when I am supposed to. I actually have little to do with that.
That’s kind of a unique perspective for me, @GLOOM.
I’ve never heard anyone express that kind of sentiment. Very understandable you’d feel that way, and commendable that you’d actually tell your loved ones to keep your body going for the money. Free them from any guilt. Make it your express wish.
IF I can’t have a “quality” of life then DNR!!!
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