If someone complains their spouse works too many hours, what do you assume or interpret from that statement?

It depends on the context.

Either way, if someone said that I wouldn’t try to make any assumptions without inquiring more about it.

All of the above depending. Sometimes the workplace is abusive (I was in this situation last year) Sometimes they are working long hours to avoid being with a dis-functional family. People can be workaholics as well. The person complaining usually is simply pointing out the lack of balance. They could also be just whining too. Need specifics here.

Just complaining that work takes them away from them and the family, I put 56 hours in 4 days think that is a lot?

@SQUEEKY2 it’s a lot.

The 1st and the second.

From my experience the overworked spouse is overworked because of need, not want. I have not known many people who work too many hours because they want to.

There are too many factors to come up with a generalized response.

I have known people who complained that the spouse was working too hard, but then also complained because the spouse wasn’t taking care of them the way they wanted (this has been from both men and women).

I have also know people who used work as an asylum from an otherwise abusive marriage while they were working up to the courage to escape.

If someone complains about the spouse working too much, I reserve judgment unless I know both sides of the situation.

It depends on the context. I tend to hear this from spouses (wives, in every case I’ve seen) of professionals like C levels, docs, engineers, and financial industry insiders.
I usually associate it with someone trying to justify their privilege of owning large, expensive items: big house, fancy cars, taking expensive trips. They want to convince the listener that they’ve earned it.

Meanwhile the farm workers in the field labor for 70 hours just to put food on the table.

I assume they also have other first world problems they spend too much time complaining about.

If someone complains their spouse works too much, then the other spouse is getting tired of doing all of the chores.

When I say it, I usually mean, “I don’t feel connected to you.” In fact, that is what I try to say instead.

In my case, my husband could use all of his time working. Work is usually on his mind and he checks his email constantly. Sometimes he ignores me when I talk to him because he is distracted by work… or he disappears for long periods of time and I find out that he checked his email and got sucked into the abyss of “work”. It is never ending; our quality time as a family is not.

I just ask that he connect with me… look me in my eyes and tell me that he needs to go take care of something for work and give me an approximate timeframe. And, when he is done, I ask that he fully engage with our family for some period of time. Otherwise I feel abandoned and unimportant (my triggers because of my childhood).

@Cupcake: It’s unfortunate that in our cell phone society, convenient communication is nice when it comes to friends and family but can be not nice when it comes to work. When I’m off for a few days, I always hope that there are no issues at work that I hear about via text or email. I also am friends with some people thru work, and I find myself avoiding communication with them when I’m on vacation, because I don’t want to hear any work gossip when my mind is enjoying life.

@jca You and I probably enjoy a similar level of discipline in an effort to prioritize our children/families.

The difficulties with immediate electronic communication mostly effect people who lack discipline or have addictive personalities. My husband probably has both.

I have a tech company. My work follows me wherever I go. Every so often I get list of projects requests from potential customers. If I was aggressive I could review the list and select a few.
There are 2 problems with this arrangement: I am limited to my team of ~6 people and I am not “hungry” any more. I already have all the work I want.
I could spend 24 hours a day preparing proposals if I wished. We always try have one or two arrows in the air. If they miss I am happy. If they hit I am happy. Note I limit myself to 1 or 2. I could have 10 but if more than 2 it I’d need a bigger facility, more employees, more infrastructure and my life would be a mess. You would not see me here.