How much do you have to consider people's feelings in your daily life?
Asked by
Haleth (
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January 12th, 2016
There’s an idea floating around these days called “emotional labor,” which has also been called the work of caring. It’s a big umbrella idea that has lots of mundane daily tasks inside it. Such as:
-Staying calm while an angry customer is yelling at you, and calming them down
– Phrasing a disagreement with your boss diplomatically, so as not to offend them
-Planning, buying, and preparing a meal of your spouse’s favorite foods
-Reminding a family member to take care of their responsibilities, such as doctor’s appointments or homework
-That thing where your partner says “I’ll clean if you just tell me what to clean”
-Listening to a friend vent about their job or their day, comforting them without trying to fix it
-Taking time off work for a child’s dance recital, soccer game, etc
-Being expected to maintain a cheerful, friendly demeanor at work no matter how you are feeling
-Remembering birthdays, buying thoughtful gifts, sending cards
-Caring for other people when they are sick
-Caring for elderly or disabled relatives
How much is this stuff a part of your everyday life?
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10 Answers
Quite a bit.
Effective charm cannot exist without one’s reading of those in one’s company.
Regarding the notes in the OP:
It takes skill and experience to walk the fine line between dispensing kindness and being a doormat.
Probably not as much as I should.
I juggle family, employees, customers even vendors feelings from sunrise to sunset and then a few hours after. It’s quite exhausting.
As much as required, and more than is reasonable.
Too much lately. Doing it for customers and strangers is pretty east for me, and not very stressful usually. Doing it for family is much worse, especially lately for my husband.
Around 6 out of 8 hours of my working day – I am a manager plus deal with customers and even if I am not actively dealing with this sort of stuff, I am ‘on call’. At home, much the same – around 5 out of 8 hours of my time dealing with my husband and children’s requirements. So 4 hours a day are my own, not including my 8 hours sleeping. I sometimes need more time and it is my sleep that gets first hit.
I’m pretty friendly by nature but I work for someone who is elected to his position, so I am always conscientious about smiling and greeting people (even though I would anyway). I have a reputation for being a nice person, fun coworker, etc. At home, I’m tired after work but I have an elementary school aged child so I may be tired and not feel like talking, but she talks and I have to be cheery about it. Same thing with family and friends on the phone or in person. I love them and appreciate them, but may not be in the mood for cheer. I can go on but you get my drift.
Very much, it is like treading on eggshells.
Most of it. I just assumed that was what life was all about. There are a lot of things that I cannot be do to my own limitations, but I can always be useful. I try to be useful and nice.
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