Has anyone blamed you for being sick?

In school, yes. My parents were fine with my taking days off even when I was not quite at death’s door. Made some classmates very angry.

Two years ago I took part in a compulsory military training program with my school, and I had to stay with my classmates 24/7. One day I got a flu. It was not very serious and I got over it quickly. But shortly after my flu a classmate got seriously sick. I became the main suspect though nobody (even me) could find any decisive evidence. My reputation was damaged for some extense and for some time though.

Physically sick? People at work don’t want you around if you have some communicable disease. Where I work, my boss will tell me to go home or stay in my office if I’m hacking and sneezing.

@jca No. I mean mentally ill. Bad hygiene from depression. Ect.

Effectively I would be penalized for being sick.
I own my business and bid on high risk – high reward contracts in a competitive field.
If my potential customers knew I had prostate cancer they might think I couldn’t perform or I might have other concerns rather than their needs. If my competitors knew, they’d be circling my business like sharks around an injured fish.
That is why I did not share my diagnosis with anyone. I didn’t even tell my step-mom because she talks. Only a couple of extremely close friends (who I needed for help) .know. Also a coworker and my immediate family – and you guys. ;-)

I am never permitted the luxury of showing weakness. Sometimes it sucks.

When I had my surgery I lied to my customer and coworkers and said I had an emergency with my Mom in Florida. I lied to my Mom and told her I had a crisis at work and would be traveling.
When I had to make a presentation soon after the surgery, and was as incontinent as a 16 year old dog with a bladder infection, I secretly wore an incontinence clamp (Yep. It works they way you think it would. Ouch!) so nobody would know I had a problem.
On the positive side, I truly believe my recovery was shortened significantly because I had to force myself to do what needed to be done without showing a hint of weakness.

Powder Milk Biscuits.

I once became extremely ill on a train. The train had to make an emergency stop nearby a hospital and have me removed by ambulance. I ended up spending a night in the hospital and missing a day of work.

When I called-in at the office, one of my colleagues heard the news and loudly said, “She’s full of bullsh*t!!!” Some of my other co-workers were so appalled by this, they told me all about it after I’d returned.

I went to the boss, with a copy of my hospital discharge papers in hand, and let him know that he had a real problem in the ranks and should deal with it. He didn’t, but at least I’d reported the incident and verified my own trustworthiness.

@RedDeerGuy1 Your reply to @jca gave a lot more depth to your question.

I can’t speak for everyone, yet it is important to not confuse “blamed you for being sick” and “shunned for something that is out of your control?” with people who have offered help yet have their help and advice rejected.

My ex wife has her own issues. I don’t blame her for them, I do hold her responsible for not taking care of herself and ignoring the recommendations of professionals. That is one of the frustrating things about mental health issues is that the person affected feels they know better than anyone else.

I would not be compassionate with a person with pulmonary issues that kept smoking, or a person with liver ailments that kept drinking. So when someone with mental health issues sincerely reaches out and is offered help, but then goes contrary to the suggestions of 20 people, after four or five times of that, people give up.

@zenvelo I decide what advice I can
Or will take. I cannot just snap too. Someone can’t force me to take the advice. MOST of the advice given to me I actually take and definitely consider. Some times I just want a there there and not answers. I’m doing much better now. When I was Talljasperman I asked questions for points and human contact. I started the reddeerguy1 so that I can start with a clean slate. To show that I am over the points obsessed man. I’m sorry that I can’t remember that I had asked a similar question. My Search button is broken and I don’t have the duplicate question alert. Lurve is nice but useless other than a positive reenfocrement.

Often enough that I generally am not much for dealing with people.

@zenvelo Attitudes like that are a perfect example of why. I’ll tell you what; if you grow wings and fly through sheer force of will, I might consider taking you seriously at some point in the future. Maybe. But not in the foreseeable future, so save your breath.

I lost twins during their 5th month, followed by a hospital visit for a D&C. I’d gone through a medical ordeal, plus I was grief-stricken beyond belief. I was suffering physically, mentally, and emotionally. I took off the rest of that week, maybe 3 or 4 days.

When I returned to work, a CPA firm, one of the partners was b*tchy and annoyed with me. One of his client projects had been dropped during my absence, and he was very put-out. In my iciest tone of voice, I told if that, if I ever miscarried twins again, I’d be sure to schedule the tragedy at a more convenient time for him. He got the message.

I have a friend who is mentally ill, after suffering some trauma (I’ve mentioned her on here a few times in the past year). It seems she is always looking to argue. If she doesn’t confront me right off the bat with an argument, she will wait a few days and then correspond with me about some petty thing I did and how it upset her. It’s at the point where I don’t feel like seeing her, because even when we get together and have a pleasant time, she will come up with some issue a few days later. I’m not “blaming her” for being sick, but it sure is making me rethink whether I want to spend any time with her. Then again, when I say I am too busy to see her, she gets mad about that, too, and doesn’t hesitate to let me know. It’s becoming hard to tolerate.

In answer to your first question, yes. Blame was implied when it was suggested to me that I “ask God” what I had done wrong.

To answer the OP: Yes.

In reply to the thread, I will say forcefully that I don’t give a shit if a person with mental illness ignores a million suggestions and then asks for help. I will give help. It’s not my place to decide when someone has suffered enough. They decide that. It’s my job to offer help when asked.

^ And that is why we lurve ya!

Yes. My mother never really believed in “depression” as being a clinical diagnosis. She thought it was more of a character flaw, and that people should just “cheer up.” She frequently looked at me with disgust and told me to snap out of it when I would be at a particularly low point. I grew up believing that something was wrong with me, and that if my mother had been given a choice, she would not have chosen to have me as her daughter.