After being married w/children for 8 or more years, how do you feel about marriage?

I have been married more that 30 years and my marriage is stronger and better and more loving than ever. But we went through a lot to get here. Good times and bad. We also both made the commitment to stick it out and we worked on our own issues and the relationship.

Marriage takes work as does romance. You have to plan for them to keep them alive. A good start might be reading (even better if you can get your spouse to read as well) Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix.

34 years of marriage for me, 2 (grown) kids.

When we married, we were both 23. Though I didn’t think so at the time, that’s really young. We did, however, have enough sense to recognize that neither of us would remain frozen in time; we and our circumstances would shift and grow and adapt in ways impossible to foresee. No illusions there.

So our marriage wasn’t a way of saying, “I agree to love this person here forever” , because “that person there” was really just a moment in time. We committed instead to honor the unknown forward trajectory of each of us, to do our best to accept and find the beauty in whatever we were to become.

The kid-raising years can be tough on couples. Study after study has found that most couples are markedly happier once the kids are gone.

If you are daydreaming about being loved than I would wager so is your wife. After 22 years of marriage and raising 2 boys I can say with authority you reap what you sow in a marriage.

Going on 24 years now here in Blondestown and can honestly say I feel exactly the way @dammitjanetfromvegas wants me to feel.

Um, take the good with the bad I suppose.

My sister freely admits to me that she isn’t “in love” with her husband of 13 years anymore. When I see them together it’s pretty obvious. But they have 5 kids, a good life they can afford together but probably not alone, and it was the life they intentionally chose to build with each other. She doesn’t plan on doing anything different. She loves her children, her family, and realizes how blessed she is. He is a good man and provides well.

Maybe not everyone in life has every aspect of it. That doesn’t make it a terrible life.

I think that if you are unhappy in a marriage get out or get help. You only get one shot at life and going through it being completely miserable is not a good example to set for your kids.

Honestly, I probably left my first marriage a bit too hasty, perhaps, but there was such a breach of trust that I couldn’t go back and we did go to counselling for quite a while. Even though I had documented proof of what he did and when, he still somehow had it in his head that it all happened differently and would not admit to what happened. No kids there. My second marriage, I never ever ever would have married again, but we had to because of immigration. And I would have left him sooner but I was looking after his son, my step son, and if I left, the kid wouldn’t have had anyone willing to parent him full time. I stuck it out until my step son turned 18, when he qualified for assistance as an adult, because he is disabled.

26+ years, NO kids and yes we have had some rough patches but for the most part it has been great, and can’t think of anyone else in the whole world I would want to grow old with.

I’ve been married twice. I’ve been with my current husband for 15 years (married for more than 10). I love marriage to this man. He’s my best friend and my lover. I never get tired of being with him. We do make time for each other. We respect each other, and we demonstrate that we care about each other. We also own up to our errors and our faults. We don’t blame the other person.

If your marriage is boring and you’re feeling disconnected, I think you have to actively do something to turn that around. Yes, you might have changed. Your partner might have changed. Your lives have moved on. However, you can still love and support that person. You do need to spend some time working out where you are, and where you want to go together. It can be as simple as taking your child for a walk in the evening to the park and spending some time talking honestly about how you feel and what you hope for. Actually investing an hour a day into your relationship can have amazing results.

Honestly, I recommend that nobody get married before the age of 30.

I’ve been married almost 23 years, and the majority I have lived being married. The last 3 years have been very difficult. Right now I feel a little disconnected from my husband, because I’m not agreeing with some major decisions. I hold on, because I remember how I usually feel. Why I love being with him. I count in the stress and changes to be temporary. However, I will say, right now, I just want to escape. Not escape him exactly, but escape my situation. I hold onto the idea that our difficulties right now are situational.

He keeps saying to me we need to make a plan. He’s right that being focused on the future, and working towards a goal together is part of the trick to staying together and being happy.

@Blondesjon and I were married at the age of 21. This April will be 24 years of marriage.

You will be different people after 10 years. You’ll be different after 20. We all grow and change with time. A successful marriage can weather these changes. It’s not always easy, but if you can get through the storms you’ll find a love much stronger than you had before.