If you keep Fluther a secret from friends and family, would you mind if they found out about it after your death?

I would not want my family to know. This is why many of us don’t mention Fluther on facebook, even though we have many Fluther friends there. I only mention that I have online friends if a relative is curious about someone, but I don’t say from where.

Fluther will be gone long, long before I am, that’s just a fact.
So this is a complete non-issue, even in the hugely unlikely event that it does somehow outlive me, this is the last place any of my friends or family would dream of showing up.

This is a non-issue for me, as my family knows all about this place, and my husband has often stunt-answered through my account when there have been questions relevant to his bailiwick. (I always mark them “hubby says” or something like that).

He’s under specific instructions to let you guys know if anything happens to me.

They are all computer illiterate and can not speak or read english.

After my death there will be little I can do to fret over that revelation. I do have more than a few less than proud moments here that I would prefer stay sequestered in the tide pool.

I am with @dammitjanetfromvegas on this. I don’t want my family to know, I have been honest here on a few family issues and unnecessary hurt or problems might be caused.

My family know about my Fluther account, and my sister knows my username.

In general, I think it is very important for us as a community to keep each others real identities private. Firstly, because there are so few places we can remain anonymous, and I believe this valuable opportunity should be protected….and secondly, even if we don’t hurt a jelly, we may hurt their loved ones.

I haven’t read the others yet but will after I write mine.

I do not want my family or friends to know about Fluther. I have had questions and comments about some of my family and co-workers and friends that I would not want them to see. Also, I have had private conversations with other jellies about family members that I would not want them to see, and if they somehow got my password, I would be mortified. Yes I would be dead at that point, buy why hurt people?

There’s something else to consider: Even though my family is aware of my Fluthering, I wouldn’t want a link to my real name or address anywhere on the page. I’ve talked about people who are close to me on here, and I don’t want their privacy violated.

I agree that the user name and real identity should never be stated or linked in some way on the net.

When janbb made the point, I agreed that without knowing, we have to go on the assumption a jelly would want to keep their Fluther life separate and private, even after the jelly dies.

It made me think about all sorts of things. Like I want to make sure my husband does know how to get onto my Fluther account. Maybe some other people too.

We should all have emergency-buddies. It would be easy enough for those of us on the other “F” site. Hubby could tag me in a post about what was happening and a good 10–15 of you would get it.

Yes, we were able to get the news about Gail out there and here to many Jellies who no longer Fluther.

My sons know I am on here and would probably enjoy seeing a tribute thread. Ben would know how to reach them. I wouldn’t want other friends or family particularly to know about it.

My husband already knows about Fluther. I wouldn’t want the whole rest of my family knowing though. I guess I have to let him know how to access this, in case I pass away before him, then he can look through. I’ve made it clear on here that I sometimes get annoyed by him but love him to no end and I’ve done that in real life, so it won’t be a surprise. But a few times I have vented a bit much on other relatives that I didn’t say to their face and so they may think I hated them when it is often not the case. So I wouldn’t want the rest of my family to know.

I wouldn’t want that. I was thinking of an example, just five minutes ago I posted that my weekend ritual is made even better if my daughter is at my parents’ house and I get to stay home and not think about entertaining her or that she may need certain foods. If she read that, she might feel unwanted. It’s not that and it would be hard to explain to her or to someone who doesn’t realize what being a single, working parent is like. So no, that’s just one of many threads on here that I wouldn’t want friends or family to figure out was me writing it.

A tribute thread is fine and Jellies coming to funeral is fine. All that is good.

Paul isn’t familiar with Fluther. Many times, I’ve told him about something I’d posted or read at “a message-thread website,” but that’s it. Fluther is the place where I go to be open and honest about my own feelings. Although I stand behind everything that I post, and I never use bad language or point fingers at other Jellies, I keep it all confidential.

I guess Fluther is a friend I can trust, and a friend who keeps my secrets. I wouldn’t want any of my friends or relatives to find me here.

I don’t think there’s anything here I’m worried about my family knowing. If I asked a question about some of their ratbag behaviour, they undoubtedly already know I was upset about it. I’m pretty much an open book. My close family know I Fluther. My extended family… I just don’t care what they think.

I like @Seek‘s idea of a buddy. Perhaps if we all made sure our family knew to email one specific person in the event of our death, that person could share that news here (or wherever we need it sharing).

I would prefer to keep my participation on Fluther distinct and separate from my real world life both now and after I pass on.

Don’t care.

I wouldn’t mind because I wouldn’t know.

@Pachy: But would you mind if your friends and family came on here and figured out who you were?

My S/O is a control freak, so I suspect my Fluther participation isn’t a secret.

On the one hand if I wanted my real name associated with my Fluther account, I’d use my real name as my user ID.
On the other hand, if someone I know stumbles on this site after I’m gone and finds an unpleasant revelation, good. They had it coming.

Taken out of context, our lives are just so much drama after all.
It’s US, the here-and-now that give our lives meaning.

There were millions before me and there will be millions after me, and only a handful are remembered beyond their generation.

@Pachy But this is not about you. It’s about your friends and family and them finding and reading what you wrote here. Things that could disappoint them when they are already overcome with grief.

I wouldn’t want it announced but if family found out about it I wouldn’t be too upset.

Whatever.

If my friends and family find out I’m actually kind of an asshole then so be it.

I would absolutely not want my friends or family to know. This is what anonymity means.

I plan to leave passwords for various social media accounts with my executor, who is a person I trust; that person will inform people of my demise and/or shut down the accounts. You know, in about a hundred years, because I’m not planning on going anywhere anytime soon.

I think I wouldn’t want that. Yeah, I don’t want them to know I’m here, but the bigger reason is that I don’t want their personal information to be leaked. I may not mind to reveal mine, but how about them? I don’t want to see them get into unnecessary troubles because of me.

By the way that scenario is almost impossible to happen because it’s very hard to find me on the internet. At least impossible with English. Well at least that’s what I think. I’ve tested it.

No. I feel exactly as Dappled Leaves has expressed it. I am here anonymously.

I’m doubtful that anything I’ve posted here would upset my friends and family, but it’s not a risk I’m willing to take.

And Mimishu has a good point. THEY didn’t sign up for Fluther, I did. So I would not want anyone connecting the dots on my behalf.

My husband brought me to Fluther… so he has access to any of my questions/answers. I have nothing to hide from him, anyway. The rest of my family (mostly) knows about my account and I mention my participation occasionally. I don’t particularly want them wading through my old responses.

I would have no problem with kind words from fluther friends being shared with my family upon my illness/death.

I completely understand the opinions expressed by everyone who has joined this thread, and I respect all sides of this question.

For reasons of my own, I would not care if anyone knew about my activity here on Fluther. I have not written anything on this site or online anywhere that I do not want others to know about. I am open in all my relationships.

I do not care if someone publishes my browser history today or after my death. I am that open.

Note: I did not say I wanted all my passwords to be made public.

I don’t think my parents would mind me being on here.
I was always on the computer mostly anyways since I was a preteen. They raised me right, an they know that I know right from wrong. So with my family they have nothing to worry about, unless something major happens. They don’t mind me making friends online or in public because they know I’m a really social person. So they know I have a lot of friends and made plenty of connections. I just don’t tell them of all the friends I have because they’ll only remember a few of them not all of them.

No worries for me. I have nothing to hide and my daughter is a member as well, inactive for quite awhile though but I have told her should I randomly drop dead to let everyone here know. For what it’s worth. haha

To those of you who replied tonmy first comment, I have never kept my participation in Fluther a secret.