Could it be consider ''shady'' if my boyfriend asked me to call his ''female'' friend to do her a favor? Read Below for Details.?

Ask your boyfriend, “what’s going on here?”

Too little information to say what’s going on. How well and long do you know your bf, and what do you know about his female friend and their relationship?

“Shady” is a very vague and usually very subjective term. Many people can and do “find things shady” and avoid them. I personally feel it is great to listen to your instincts and gut feelings, but I recommend calling them what they are. I feel it’s a mistake to try to label feelings as logical and absolute things. It’s enough reason to refuse to participate any anything your don’t feel good about, for that reason alone. I also think it’s useful to ask others for their impressions and advice. But I try to avoid thinking about such things in terms of logic or general moral judgements.

I like Willie’s idea of asking the bf to give you the full complete information about the entire relationship and situation with these other people.

Call her and give her the address I guess?
If your boyfriend is giving you her number and isn’t scared of you talking to her then maybe she really is just a friend.

To BF:
*67 = anonymous calling. Call yourself.

You are as deep into the drama as you need to be, i.e. non-participating innocent bystander.
Refuse any deeper involvement.

Ask that your BF change the midnight caller’s ring tone to “silent”, so it doesn’t disturb anyone’s sleep.

If this girl has an appt. with a lawyer then presumably she has his phone number (or else how did she make the appt. ?)

And his office address is not that difficult to find. Hello, Internet ? Or she can call the office and ask for address and even how-to directions.

Why does it require your intervention here ? Is she a totally helpless dimwit? How dense could she possibly be ?

Do you really want to interject yourself into a situation where there is a jealous husband with a prison record in the background? Why? This situation doesn’t make any sense at all.

There are plenty of ways she can find out the address. without you or your bf being involved. Something doesn’t make any common sense here at all.

You bf needs to be totally honest and transparent with you as to why hes trying to involve you in this mess. It shouldn’t need your involvement nor anybody elses.

The mere fact this “girls” BF is constantly calling at midnight telling him to not contact her anymore would be reason enough to confront your BF and ask him who exactly is this girl and why is he constantly contacting her to the point of pissing off this girls BF??

Not a good situation. It smells fishy. Talk to him and see if you are satisfied with the answers you get.

Is she trying to escape an abusive situation?

It’s not illegal to have friends of the opposite gender, and if the female friend doesn’t have the freedom or knowledge to use the internet without hubby finding out what she’s up to… I sympathize.

All in all, only involve yourself as much as you feel comfortable with. If that is zero, so be it.

@Seek Good point but BF needs to explain more clearly.

Do not get involved. Your boyfriend is being too secretive and if he doesn’t come up with good, believable answers, then I would move on.
The husband calling consistently at midnight would have clued me in that there was an issue.

@Seek

The possibility of her being a victim of abuse is a valid point you raise. We really don’t have enough info to determine at this point.

If that were the case, however, it does not speak well of the OP’s bf that he’s trying to insert her into a situation fraught with potential danger to her. If the girl’s bf is a controlling abuser then he will brook no interference from ANYONE regardless of male or female.

As pointed out above *67 still works perfectly well. So let the bf be the one taking the risk here rather than inserting the one he “loves” into a situation fraught with hazards.

SOMETHING about this whole request just isn’t adding up. We don’t know what that something is but it just doesn’t “look kosher” (to borrow a metaphorical phrase).

At the least he’s a dimwit; at the worst he’s a sleaze bucket. Not good.

The description does seem weird—I think because we know that there is something more going on, we just don’t know what. I went right to thinking of the friend might be in an abusive relationship too, @Seek… it seems to fit the information. Of course, I guess with the BF’s vagueness, there are other explanations that fit too… @cecilia09, I agree with those who suggested asking your BF for a more complete story. He shouldn’t have to hide whatever is prompting this request. Does he realize it feels like he’s keeping something from you? Does he realize how uncomfortable he’s making your situation?

“Something is rotten in the state of Denmark”
How much do you care for a person who might get you killed or end up in a lawsuit?
Just wondering.
The drama. Is this what you have to look forward to? More of it?
Step back.
What would you tell someone to do if reading this outloud.
Try it. Outloud.
Would you normally be a party to something like this?
If so- jump right on in.
If not- run.

@Seek Yeah i assumed the same as well,this happen more than a year ago and i asked here cause it came back to my mind and i could not forget it,so i decided to ask for honest opinions,since i really don’t want to make the mistake of marrying this man in the future and god knows what he is hiding from me.i also get the feeling that this ’‘friend’’ could have been his ex perhaps,but what sounds weird is why would the violent husband of the women be so mad at my boyfriend and even called him a couple of times around 4:00am (thats what my bf told me,he was even mad at that men for calling him at that time ) so for that men to get so jealous and what not, there had to be something triggering him to act that way,also my boyfriend told me they used to talk and just to see how they were’‘hi how are you’’ and stuff like that,whether my boyfriend is being honest or not,i have no idea,i just feel as if there was something more,and i cannot put my finger on it.perhaps they had an affair (my bf and that women) back when that man was still in jail.i really don’t know these are just mere ideas.

@cecilia09: Trust your instincts. If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck…...

@DancingMind Yeah i assumed the same as well,this happen more than a year ago and i asked here cause it came back to my mind and i could not forget it,so i decided to ask for honest opinions,since i really don’t want to make the mistake of marrying this man in the future and god knows what he is hiding from me.i also get the feeling that this ’‘friend’’ could have been his ex perhaps,but what sounds weird is why would the violent husband of the women be so mad at my boyfriend and even called him a couple of times around 4:00am (thats what my bf told me,he was even mad at that men for calling him at that time ) so for that men to get so jealous and what not, there had to be something triggering him to act that way,also my boyfriend told me they used to talk and just to see how they were’‘hi how are you’’ and stuff like that,whether my boyfriend is being honest or not,i have no idea,i just feel as if there was something more,and i cannot put my finger on it.perhaps they had an affair (my bf and that women) back when that man was still in jail.i really don’t know these are just mere ideas.Maybe i,m just seeing ghosts where they arent any…no clue.

I agree with @somewomenarenicemaybe. He wouldn’t give you the phone number if he was trying to hide something.

There are some very insecure people who can’t handle their SO being friends with the opposite sex. Last summer my husband and I went to a concert and we met up with an old high school friend of mine and his mother. We later went for drinks and had a great time. I posted a selfie of the four of us on fb. The next day I woke up to a woman who had posted some crazy comments on the photo I tagged. It was my friend’s on and off girlfriend. She flipped out and thought I was trying to steal her man. My friend recently blocked me because his insecure girlfriend couldn’t handle us being friends. I did nothing to provoke this woman or send mixed signals.

Some people are just that crazy and insecure.

@msh Yeah you are right,the funny thing is that the women does not live here,where we are,she lives in another state.what I really don’t understand is why would my boyfriend besides the fact that he tried to help her or whatever,why would he maintain communication with her ESPECIALLY knowing that her husband is literally crazy,jealous and violent. He asked me to pretend that I am her friend and call her from his mobile just in case her husband picked up the phone to not raise any suspicion,and that way i could give her the info for the lawyers appointment he made for her.but i never got to really talk to her since I called and the called never made it thru,so he suggested that we tried to call later since it was very important to give her that address,Unless he is crazy and he made all this drama up just to see my reaction since it was at the beginning of our relationship like 3 months in,after that day he never mentioned me the situation again or what happened nothing,so god knows.

It sounds like a lot of drama.

Please give us an update in a few.

@jca @dammitjanetfromvegas @msh @Cruiser @chyna Hey GUYS UPDATE!!! I know long time!! no see,, So yesterday my bf mentioned me this women again and know she is telling him that she wants to kill herself, and she has suicidal thoughts, and I was straight forward and asked him, can she go to a psychologist?,why does she need to email or call you?, He was like;‘I know her she is a friend,she is a long time friend I know her family and her husband, she has issues and he also does too, she gets jealous of the husband and hits him and then they fight and I told her husband to ease down. and told her to go and talk to her sister, and try to talk to her husband and work things out, I cant even study she keeps on calling and emailing me telling me that she does not want to live etc’’.. SO I was so pissed yesterday when he mentioned me that women I just tried to cool down and act mature.What do you guys think??? ADVICE!!

It is still a shady situation. How do you feel about your boyfriend? Do you love him no matter what or would you just rather not deal with all of this drama and don’t really know how to move on?

Sorry @cecilia09 This is more Dr. Phil territory than I care to try a stab at. Good luck!

@chyna I don’t really know, in the sense that I just feel confused whether he is saying the truth or not, I mean why would this women contact him so much,and why would he be so concerned.she has a crazy husband and 2 children with him.

I think it is something you need to figure out going forward. I’m in my 50’s and have learned that life is way too short to spend so much time being unhappy, miserable, or uncertain in relationships. Good luck in your future.

@chyna I did talked to him again, and asked him calmly, who is this woman and where do you know her from, I even asked openly if she was an ex? and his just said the same things, he had said before,and that if he would have been having something with her, he would have never mentioned her and the situation to me.but the girl is financially dependent of her husband and has not even finished college, but to be honest I think my boyfriend has an emotional attachment to her or something, otherwise my bf almost being a doctor would have referred her to a suicide hotline or psychologist ,,or even her family ,she could even got to her family and stay there with her 2 kids, which is the logical thing to do,all of this is weird.