How should I proceed with this guy at work?
There is this guy at work whom I have a hot and cold work relationship with. He sort of makes it a little difficult to work with. I made the work relationship with him more distant after he insults me for doing my job, that he thought was causing him to stay longer at work. Anyway, I jotice he’s been staring at me lately and trying to get me to talk to him by inserting himself in my conversations or asking me random that he pretends to be work related. Whenever he passes me by he bumps into me unecessarily, even if I avoid hi. Or he touches me back for leverage to pass by. He talks about his girlfriend contantly with costumers. She is a great girl and is sister to another coworker. But he has been singing love songs around me when the come on the radio. Songs like, “I fooled around and fell in love”, “I’m in over my head”, or anything that some guy is singing about some girl and he just stays near me amd sings out. He keeps telling me goobye when he is leaving work even after I have not been replying to him day after day. Why would someone behave like this? Is he being unprofessional?
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11 Answers
Is this your boss? He was behaving strangely around you a while ago?
Or is it your coworker who was acting weird a while ago?
You seem to have a lot of men who behave strangely where you work. Indeed, you have a lot of men in your life who behave oddly.
Get a taser and use it when he sings along with the radio. He will soon stop that nonsense.
@Earthbound_Misfit
I don’t refer to my boss as a coworker. This is not my boss and is a totatly different situation that me previous questions. Thanks for your imput
He’s flirting. It only means to you what you want it to mean. Maybe.
Regarding the “unnecessary” touching, you should tell him that his touching you is unwanted behavior. Just that; don’t raise a stink about it the first time you tell him. Simply tell him, “Don’t touch me.” The next time he does it after that, and I mean, the very next time, tell your supervisor and HR. Again, you don’t have to bring a lot of emotion into that, simply inform them and they should take it from there to see that he stops. I fully realize that it may not be quite as simple as that, but this is how the process should start.
I’ve been assuming that his behavior around you is unwanted. If you like what he’s doing, which is not what I gather from your question, then you can take different actions.
I would give him zero encouragement. I agree with @CWOTUS about the touching. You have to say, upfront, “Don’t touch me.” Not loud or make a big deal out of it. Just “Don’t touch me.” If, later, he touches you again I would say it much louder. “I said don’t touch me.” If it happens again then you can contact the supervisor. (Note: this gives him one extra chance tio stop.)
You need to nail this quickly or it will never end. Do it!
An interesting side note. I worked in Luxembourg for a while. I was surprised how touchy-feelie everyone was. Women and men would greet each other, and me, with cheek kisses and hugs. It seemed so strange – but nice.
I hug people I know well, both men and women, when I am genuinely happy to see them.
(I don’t think this applies in your case. I just point it out because it was such a different culture. They had wine on the table during lunch. Are you kidding me? If we did that in the US we’d be fired )
Good advice from two wise men here.
I would continue to ignore him.
NEVER get involved with a co-worker. Take it from some one who’s been there! It can only mean trouble for one or both of you so end it!
Yeah, ignore him. Tell the supervisor about it so they are aware of the situation so they can monitor him and talk to him about it if nessesary.
Even I never had this much trouble with men drooling over me in the work place!
I get the feeling that you perceive things differently than most people. Either that, or you have a lot of weird guys staring at you and accidentally touching you and acting weird. Weird huh?
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