What should I do?
So a few weeks ago I asked this guy to prom and he said yes. I wasn’t expecting a yes, but it was a nice surprise that he accepted my offer. He’s not usually into dances and rejected quite a lot of people in past years. Anyway, I know him fairly well, but we’re mainly just school friends. However, many of my other friends know him better, but they say he considers everyone an acquaintance.
Fast forward a few weeks later and I ask him for his number to discuss prom details, he is polite and offers to split the fees, etc. A few days later I end up skyping with him and another one of his friends. We were originally skyping with a large group of friends, but it dwindled down to the three of us. I asked him if it was alright, and he told me he wanted me to stay and that it was fine. The three of us ended up skyping for three and a half hours.
My problem is that he is a really bad texter, and when I explained that I would like to get to know him a little better, he admitted that he just doesn’t feel up to responding sometimes and not to take it personally. I asked him if he suggested any other ways to get to know him, but he just replied saying, ” Idk, that’s sort of a hard question.” I suggested that we skype or maybe go out just to eat and talk, but he replied that he was busy that night, but that we would at least be in contact. I replied that I just meant any time or day when he was available, and that he should be honest if he didn’t want to do anything.
Funny thing is, he never responded to that last text, and I haven’t tried since. I don’t know what to do and he even agreed with me in saying that he understands not wanting to go to prom with a complete stranger. I just feel confused, and I’m not sure how to go about things anymore. I don’t want to give up, but I try my best to respect boundaries and give people space. The only problem is that he agreed with me on not wanting to go with a complete stranger, and then doesn’t give me the option of working on that.
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10 Answers
Consider that you have a date for the prom, and proceed knowing that.
He may be very shy, and self-conscious. So be considerate and email him or write him an actual letter to talk about plans for prom. Don’t push him for getting to know each other. Once you are sure he is still okay with going to prom, you can worry about getting to know him on the date.
If you don’t hear from him soon after an email (like two days after you send it), walk up to him at school and talk to him face to face.
Maybe he’s not into girls?
Good luck. : )
I would stop hounding him and wait patiently for him to contact you. You could live your life in the meantime.
Maybe HE wants to lead.
Stop chasing him.
Ask HIM when it is a good time to discuss plans.
Give him a dealine ( date to get back with you).
I have a friend that does same thing to his friends..its just that he ( my friend) like to get people chasing after him to make himself appear popular.
Maybe its not THAT important to him..he should be more considerate , but understand that you two are young and have yet to learn to be considerate.
He may not be aware of HOW this is IMPORTANT to YOU.
Be prepared for a letdown and get a plan B in case.
P.S. The texting mistakes : my friend could not keep up with the fast texting and made errors..possibly why your friends does too.
I have seen many times a guy or girl accept a prom date just so they could show up with a date and then hang with either buds or another person of the opposite sex they have an interest. It happened to my son his junior year. Went with a girl and returned home without his date who abandoned him half way through the prom.
@Cruiser But why would he say yes to me when he’s rejected so many people in the past for proms or dances?
“But Why would he say yes to me when he’s rejected so many in the past for proms or dances?”
Because you have something, looks,intelligence or something that will make him look or feel good about himself.
Or he is ready now to commit to the Prom. The fact that he already accepted BUT no further substantial talk about plans is suspect?
Is he keeping you in his pocket while checking out other options?
Or is he happy to have this agreement and is concentrating on other things?
Ask him.
I think guys are a bit clueless at that age and some (like some girls) are very shy. Just assume you have a date for the prom, say hi when you see him, and maybe at some point initiate a talk about prom plans. But give him lots of space.
I don’t see how @PixieGirl98 is hounding or chasing this guy. She has a date with him and wants to get to know him better. She stated that she hasn’t contacted him after the last text. If this was a guy asking the question, I doubt anyone would accuse him of chasing the girl.
My advice to talk to him in person at school.
You seem to have done a good job communicating so far. It sounds like he’s just a typical young guy who (like most of them) doesn’t have great social skills, but that he’s open (probably very glad but nervous) to hanging out, and doesn’t know what to think or say about all that, perhaps not without thinking about it for a bit. Many young guys like that have very little experience talking to people other than their friends and family, and may be slightly stunned / confused / nervous / scared when talking to others about things they haven’t considered much, and especially to girls their age. Girls often have a huge advantage in social skills, perceptiveness, empathy, body language (male body language awareness is often near zero) and interest in social skills, though it may take them a while to understand how very boys’ mindsets tend to be.
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